PleasureKraft

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

the most unrealistic part of izombie - a show where zombies are real and can solve crimes by eating brains - is that the character ravi isn't slamming ass all over the city. like he's supposed to be a medical examiner in seattle which is a $100k+ salary and he's played by rahul kohli and y'all are really trying to convince me this 6'4" doctor isn't knee deep in pussy 24/7?? zombies I can accept but trying to convince me this man with a full head of hair and a british accent has to fight for women's attention absolutely annihilates my suspension of disbelief.

“male character gets a girlfriend whos just him but a girl” is one of the worst tropes except for grundgetta from sesame street who rules

Saw a comment saying character X can't be a pervert because he's ace. Bro. Bro. Bro. BRO. BRO. BRO. BR

Unironically obsessed with the people who's realization that we're in a fascist country is a late night comedian getting his show canceled and not like, anything before that. Like even in recent history.

"Someone take a picture of me crying over his dead body so i can post it to Instagram"

did he really have an open casket after being shot in the neck or is this just a fun photo shoot for her

when cishet guy friends tease me about being a lesbian and ask how i "know" i'm gay i like to go "well have YOU ever had sex with a man?" and when they say no (they always say no) i go "then how do you know you're not into men?" and like... what IS it with how insecure cishet men who are scared of gay thoughts always assume they would bottom. like they talk like that's the inevitable outcome if they were to ever get bicurious. today i hit these two guys at work with a "what, are you scared?" and they frantically described to the most detailed prophetic visions of the biggest burliest bear topping them to death. which could mean nothing

LITERAL ICON HOLY SHIT THIS GIRL IS AMAZING

what a fascinating woman

hey . are you using that boy for anything or can i borrow it

don't ask why. normal reason

Okay sounds good i trust you tumblr user boymounter

hey hold up whatt are u doing

he’s goin above the fireplace