Naming Stuff is Hard, Amiright?

There's simply no argument or logical explanation that could sour the appeal of Big Fucking Scythe As A Weapon for me. Like no I don't care it wouldn't make for an optimal weapon, because have you considered : Big Fucking Scythes are Cool and Badass

shouting “DERIVATIVE!” at an art school kid just walking down the street from a moving vehicle, they break down and sob

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: for lit majors its Pedestrian, bruh never have i been so decimated than when a prof said my thesis proposal was pedestrian /End ID]

shouting “DERIVATIVE!” at an art school kid just walking down the street from a moving vehicle, they break down and sob

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

one thing i am irrationally angry at is constellations. “this looks like a bear!” “this looks like a guy!”- no the fuck it doesn’t! i have been to kindergarten! i have mastered the art of connect-the-dots! this ain’t it!

i don’t know how many people you had to blackmail to get everyone to agree that this trapezoid looks like a goat, but you did not make it fucking true! you drew those lines in yourself and it still does not look like a goat! who the hell do you think you’re fooling?!?

THEY GOT TO YOU TOO!!!