How many times do I remind my USian boss that scheduling a meeting with me within ten hours of my end of work is actually a prosecutable and fineable offense here before I just. Do the prosecuting.
Keni
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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#extradirty

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@produdfctititty
How many times do I remind my USian boss that scheduling a meeting with me within ten hours of my end of work is actually a prosecutable and fineable offense here before I just. Do the prosecuting.

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I'm not sorry.
I realize this is a joke but I feel like Queer really does describe Q. Also:
has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?
We need a casual culture that loves nature because a neighborhood in my city watched new development get slapped down in their nature view from their homes. They paid a high price to have a good view from their home, so they were angered by that, but what got me was the comments reporters got from residents. They said things like "they just bulldozed the saguaros. I don't think that's legal. Seeing so much beauty get taken out overnight just makes me so upset. I feel like I have to do something".
They're not hippies or conservationists. They sounded like average middle-class neighborhood people who saw nature being destroyed and listened to the icky feeling they got in their hearts.
Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

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Are lace-makers ever struck by the realisation that all the holes were already there before they started?
Fanciest lace I've ever made, just need to fill in the edges.
Due to the craftsmanship shown in this picture, the emperor has requested that you make all of his clothes out of that exact lace.
awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?
So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.
Can’t just leave this in the tags, @the-starboy-symbiont
method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows
and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows
i can't cope
brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed
It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.
#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)
i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.

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Friday fucking ruled 🖤
when people tag posts "unreality" it's a signal to people who struggle with discerning reality that a (likely scary if believed to be true) post is not real even though it's written as if it was. it's also a filter tag so those people can opt out of seeing posts like that entirely. many people who rely on the unreality tag are psychotic and struggle with paranoia alongside (or because of) the struggles discerning what's real. posts that these people interpret to be real can lead to incredible distress and compulsions.
when someone tags your post "#unreality" and you screenshot the tags and say "what are you talking about? this is real" because you consider the post easy to discern as not real and find this joke funny you're actually just causing paranoia for people who now feel like they can't trust the unreality tag. not everyone has the same reality discernment skills as you. what's "obviously" a fictional story to you may not be obvious to other people.
I don't think most people make this joke maliciously. I think most people making this joke don't even realize why the unreality tag exists. anyways, if you've made this joke or have the urge to make this joke then consider not doing that.
“My lord, I know you are the demon lord and I am but a lowly advisor, but please listen to me. I suggest that instead of sending the hero slightly stronger demons to kill each time, we just send the strongest one right away”
“Do you know why the heroes fight us, advisor?”
“Because…. because we threaten their homeland, my lord?”
“And why do we threaten their homeland?”
“Because Kushiel rules it and she exiled you?”
“Close. Because Kushiel rules it and she must be stopped. But we cannot stop her.”
“I’m… not sure I follow, my liege.”
“I am not surprised. This war started long before you were born, did it not?”
“Yes, my lord, at least a dozen centuries before.”
“And I was at least a dozen centuries old when this war began. We sent our strongest soldiers, our mightiest armies. And Kushiel sent children.”
“Children…? Then… how did we not win?”
“Would you like to fight an army of children? See the light that should have burned a century be snuffed out after barely a decade?”
“Well… not particularly, no.”
“Nor did we, and Kushiel knew this. She gives them no training for she knows the worse off they are the worse it will be for us to face them. This went on for several centuries. She fills her people’s heads with stories, false prophecies about how a child will someday defeat the tyrannical ruler who threatens them. And so, we are helping that prophecy become true.”
“Wait, what?”
“We cannot hope to defeat Kushiel. We do not know her with any intimacy. We cannot predict her movements. All we know is she will keep sending children. So we train them. We send out weakest soldiers, those willing to die knowing their sacrifice will eventually be her undoing. Someday, a hero will come who is able to defeat us. A hero who will slaughter our weakest, then our next weakest, and will continue to do so until even I lay dead at their feet. And then the hero will come here and sit in my throne and peer from my grand window. Sit. Tell me what they will see.”
“It…. It’s a graveyard, sir.”
“Those are the graves of all the children Kushiel has sent to die at our hands. Some became adults before they finally fell, but they were always children when they started. We bury them here. And someday a hero will come who will free us from this grievous task. They will take my throne, sit upon it, and see what Kushiel deemed a worthy price for this mere chair. And then the hero will realize who they must fight next. And thanks to us, they will have gained the strength and training necessary to make sure the prophecy is fulfilled and the tyrant will finally die.”
it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good
for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

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move over hudson and connor, hearing jacob tierney talk about workers' rights has me all hot and bothered 😍 It's Open With Ilana Glazer