Activate Deez Nuts

Watching a guy wave his hands around and occasionally it looks like he's pointing at me, so he's probably talking shit about me.

If it's not good enough for you, it's not good enough for us. If you have any complaints,  let a person in power know and we'll shoot one associate of your choosing!

I hate how my nightmares are like, "What if you weren't paranoid ENOUGH???" And I just have to. Deal with it.

Putting some weak sauce on this nothing burger because I know its worth.

I asked the oracle what I should expect in the next three years and she just laughed at me???

My cat randomly started speaking morse code and then dived headfirst into a wall. What???

I love how cats are just down to sniff anything. You can just hold out a can of beans to them and they'll sniff it and give you the most disdainful look.

Character "arc"? Well, those letters sure are in that word.

Someone was hammering in the upper unit so naturally I started stumbling through the lyrics of Hollaback Girl, a song I don't know the lyrics to.

My entire inner monologue today has consisted of, "Fuuuuuck, I have an appointment today," and they just. Cancelled it???

My mom randomly texted me, "what do you know about Bendy and the Ink Machine?" And I got war flashbacks.

The LGBTQ+ agenda? We were supposed to have one?!

Heartbreaking: The worst person you know is actually the victim.

You look related to someone! Who, you ask? Well, haha, I shan't say...