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i am 5 kilobytes old #age compression

whenever skin safe rope has those little aglets on the ends to prevent fraying it makes me smile to think about a luxurious giant and her huge silk shoelaces

NOT being a good girl today. barking and ripping things up and just freaking it

pulling down a girl's panties to go down on her, lightly touching her circumcision scar "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you..."

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

Everyone needs three hobbies: one to give you carpel tunnel, one to leave you sore and bruised, and one for your distant relatives to insist you monetize

i went for the 3 in 1 with crochet

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

the randos who have attempted to pilot the pjackk url arent funny enough & havent played fighting games enough to make it work

foxgirl marxist, call her a konmunist

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.