musings of a true oddball

How it’s going:

If you’re a virgin and you get raped

You’re still a virgin

Rape is not sex and if someone tries to tell you otherwise

I am NOT used goods

I am NOT torn paper

I am NOT chewed gum

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous

“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone

Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”

It would take u like 100 years to major in everything

Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot

Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u

College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature

Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler

If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major

I'm still a sad emo kid sorry bout it

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day.

What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read.

An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury.

this bear? cancelled

this mountain? fucking cancelled

FUCK this lake

some people born hundreds of years after this thing was built suck shit so this building is now cancelled

MOSCOW? do you know who LIVES in Moscow?? like a lot of people actually, but also some bad people so NO PICTURES OF MOSCOW

COOL BUT CANCELLED. What happens in that building?? CORRUPTION probably, I don’t know, I didn’t look up what it was, but I know it’s in RUSSIA and we all know what HAPPENS IN RUSSIA

this SERENE yet ALIEN LANDSCAPE has been declared PROBLEMATIC

oh, do you like this?? do you find it…. ….””aesthetic””??? apparently you don’t know that Faberge eggs were popularized by Tsar Alexander III, who REVERSED MANY OF THE LIBERAL REFORMS OF HIS FATHER and can eat shit in general. that’s right Russia, I’m pulling receipts from 1885.