Difficult Woman Lover

I always see posts about layering clothing, but there are so many more creative ways to help keep you warm if you don’t have a lot of warm clothes. But first, a note on layering clothing:

-Your underlayer is your WICKING layer. That means it is a layer specifically to absorb the moisture your body produces. DO NOT USE COTTON AS A BOTTOM LAYER. Use merino wool if possible, but other good substitutions are nylon, polyester and rayon. 

-Your middle layer is for insulation. You want AIR POCKETS in there, NOT tight fitting clothes. This is where you want to put your fluffy sweaters, your fleece, down, fur, flannel, or vests. If you do not have these, you can substitute with multiple layers of long sleeve shirts.

-Your outer layer is for keeping the cold away from your body. If you do not have a jacket, you can put on your thickest piece of clothing and then a raincoat over it. Windbreaker if you have one. 

ALSO

-Jeans are the absolute worst at holding heat. Use only as a last resort. 

-You can’t really ever have too many layers on your feet. Alternate tucking your layers of pants into your layers of socks to keep your ankles warm!

-Wear a hat OVER a hood if it will fit! This will keep your ears warmest.

TAKE OFF/OUT ANY AND ALL JEWELERY/PIERCINGS

-If you have a medical bracelet, DO NOT REMOVE IT. If you can, tuck a layer of clothes between it and your skin.

NON-CLOTHING TIPS:

-Raid your recycling. Gather all cardboard boxes and break them down so that they are flat. Put them on the floor to add more layers between you and the cooling house. Newspaper will also serve the same purpose.

-In an emergency, you can also layer newspaper between clothing layers. Don’t worry about looking stupid if you’re staying warm.

-If you have a tent, set that sucker up in whatever room you have decided to stay in. Stay in it and keep it zipped shut as much as you can, but do NOT cover the vent at the top. You can put the rain fly up, but make sure there is circulating air for you to breathe.

-You are probably not going to feel very hungry at times. DO NOT STOP EATING OR DRINKING. Digestion produces a lot of body heat and the food will give your body energy to keep itself going.

-The best foods are heavy and full of carbs and proteins. Eat nuts, eggs, pasta, meats, and beans. If you are on a diet, now you’re not. If you’re vegetarian… bulk up on those pastas and nuts.

-Try not to sweat. If you are finding yourself getting damp, take off the outer layer just until you start to cool slightly. Then redress! Your bottom layer should dry quickly, and being wet is dangerous.

-On that note, STAY ACTIVE. You are probably going to want to hunker down and snuggle up, but that will make your muscles cramp. Every 15-20 minutes do something that gets you up and about. Walk circles in the room, do a couple jumping jacks, stretch, whatever. Just enough to move some blood around your body. Don’t get sweaty or out of breath, it’s just a little movement.

-CHAPSTICK. ON YOUR LIPS. ON YOUR NOSE. ON YOUR EARS. ON YOUR KNUCKLES. Don’t let your extremities get dry or cracked.

SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA:

-Uncontrollable shivering -Slurred speech -Confusion or memory loss -Dizziness or lack of coordination -Inability to be woken from sleep

CHILDREN AND INFANTS!!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

-Children WILL get colder before you. Make sure they are properly bundled up.

-If you need to breastfeed, put a blanket over the both of you and wait a few minutes for the air to warm before removing or shifting your clothing.

-DO NOT COVER AN INFANTS FACE. ESPECIALLY WHEN SLEEPING. Keep them tucked inside your own clothes when possible. As close to your heart and stomach as possible. 

-Put chapstick on children’s cheeks and clean their face often if they are crying or wiping at their nose. This will prevent cracked skin and irritation.

-Make sure your children are staying as hydrated as you! They are going to fuss and not want to drink cold things, but they NEED liquids.

SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA IN INFANTS AND TODDLERS ARE DIFFERENT:

-Shortness of breath  -Cold, red skin -Lethargy or listlessness

Finally:

It’s important to get your chimneys inspected if you have a wood stove/fireplace/ect to make sure they are clean and safe. Store wood an appropriate distance from the heat source.

If your power is out and therefor the water as well, and you HAVE to flush that toilet, you can take the top off the tank and pour some in before each flush. DO NOT waste your drinking water on this. Use a bucket of water from a pond or run the bath and fill up a bucket beforehand. Do not use pool water. I haven’t looked into what chlorine would do to a septic tank/public water supply but I assume it’s nothing good.

If you have questions about the blackouts, I suggest calling your energy provider (I need to do this too) to see if they have more information or a schedule of when they might need to start implementing shut downs.

϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o

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Showing vulnerability is risky: it's weakness, it's fear, it's revealing one's flaws.

Showing vulnerability is a core part of driving the plot or character development, whether they're building relationships or force them to make choices they wouldn't normally do.

Exposing your character's doubts and insecurities shows the reader that your character is real and has depth.

Here are 20 ways you can create tension by showing vulnerability in your characters through actions:

Letting someone see them exhausted instead of pretending they’re fine.

Admitting they don’t know what they’re doing and not joking about it.

Whispering secrets to objects instead of people.

Holding back tears, not because they’re strong, but because they’re scared.

Accepting help and apologizing for it at the same time.

Taking a deep breath before speaking, as if bracing for impact.

Sitting closer than necessary, then freezing when noticed.

Saying “you don’t have to” when they desperately want them to stay.

Letting their voice crack.

Sharing something small first, testing the ground. Alternatively, sharing small joys to test if it's safe to share bigger ones.

Watching the other person’s reaction instead of finishing the sentence.

Fidgeting with sleeves, rings, or scars they usually hide.

Letting silence stretch instead of filling it with humour.

Admitting they were hurt without assigning blame.

Avoiding eye contact while speaking about something personal.

Trusting someone with a truth they don’t fully understand yet.

Hesitating before touching, afraid of rejection. Their hands hang in the air for a moment as if waiting for permission.

Saying “I don’t want to be alone” instead of “I’m fine.”

Letting someone touch them in a way they usually resist.

original image from the magazine:

It’s not about darkness. It’s about precision.

1. Give them a contradiction. Villains are scariest when they’re almost human. “He always apologised before hurting someone.”

2. Let them think they’re right. No moustache twirling — just conviction. “I’m not saving the world. I’m correcting it.”

3. Give them a normal habit that becomes unsettling. • humming off-key • straightening objects mid-argument • collecting people’s abandoned pens

4. Make their kindness selective. Kind to dogs. Cruel to friends. Kind to children. Absent to their own.

5. Make their presence change a room. Not with theatrics — with tone. “The laughter thinned when he stepped inside.”

How to make antagonists who aren’t evil (but still hurt you)

Some of the best antagonists are just… people.

1. Give them the same goal as the hero — different methods. Hero wants peace. Antagonist wants peace. Hero uses unity; antagonist uses control.

2. Let the antagonist be right sometimes. That stings.

3. Make the hero almost agree with them. “You’re not wrong,” she admitted. “But you’re not right either.”

4. Show glimpses of softness. “He tucked the child’s drawing into his coat.”