Succulents, gold fish, and mental health cats.

Bear in mind that this is a technique that anyone can use on anyone about anything.

It’s my sincere hope that publishing will come to understand this and do all it can to entice the teen boys they have so desperately neglected back to reading, before it’s too late’

Goddddd males can’t be held responsible for anything, can they? It’s anyone else’s fault! Do they not see how pathetic it is that boys aren’t willing to read anything that not about them??

And they're so fucking pathetic! There are plenty of books in every genre in every age group at every reading level that has male protagonists written by male authors. In fact, if boys weren't so fucking stupid, they'd know they have nearly four hundred years of male authors and male protagonists.

Traditionally male industries, traditionally male-oriented industries, can't be accused of failing males. What, we got two famous authors and suddenly boys forgot about every male author in existence?? Did Suzanne Collins walk into every book store on earth and burn every book except for Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and Divergent?

Imagine if people didn’t understand how penises ‘work’ and therefore their orgasms didn’t matter.

Imagine if unreciprocated cunnilingus were the norm.

Imagine if boys were taught that sex was expected to hurt for them and were told to lie back and think of England, to grin and bear it.

Imagine if male reproductive conditions were under-researched and under-treated. No known cause, no known cure was the default. Reproductive pains considered normal for men, and their reproductive complaints mocked and dismissed.

Imagine that teenage boys were put on hormonal birth control, perhaps because they’re thought to help these mysterious ailments but with the side effect of making them sexually available to women all the time without risk of pregnancy.

Imagine if male hormonal cycles (high T in the morning, low T at night) were mocked and considered to make men unreliable. If men’s competence and judgment was questioned because of it (“He’s just mad because it’s that time of the day! They’re so testerical in the morning” or “Can a man really hold office if he’s just going to start crying every time the evening rolls around and his T drops?”, including worse mockery for older men who have lower T in general and might have erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer, or other older male reproductive issues).

Imagine if penises and scrotums were deemed “vulgar” and “obscene” in all contexts outside of smut magazines for older women.

Imagine if men were barred from masturbation because sperm is reserved for reproduction. Imagine if mens bodies were considered women’s property for them to control and serve their interests.

Imagine if sex that didn’t involve injury to mens bodies were considered “vanilla” and “boring” imagine if women casually said things like, “beat that ballsack uuuup” or “destroy his dick” amongst their aggressive, drunk, larger, hefty female friends while men sit and chat with the boys on how to get their girlfriends to spend time with them and contribute to housework, what they hate about their bodies and joke how horrible sex is because it’s about women using men’s bodies however they please.

Imagine if hair on mens bodies were considered, “unhygienic”, “unsightly” and “un-gentlemanlike” even though it grows there naturally. Imagine if men who refused to wear makeup were considered “uppity” and “unkempt”.

Imagine if muscularity in men was considered “womanish” and “unappealing” and interests outside cosmetics, servitude and self-minimalism were viewed as “effeminating” to women and “Ovary busting”. in fact, everything you do to improve men’s quality of life and attain success in female-dominated fields is valued by how it effects women.

Imagine if boys were encouraged to show their arms, backs, chests and stomachs before they hit puberty, imagine if all the male musicians were young, unhealthily-thin, airbrushed pop singers who sing about needing girls to give their lives meaning and becoming every girls dream boy.

The first example contrasted how male genitals were treated compared to female genitals. While it’s not 1:1, there are absolutely some fucked-up ways society treats men’s genitals. Granted, there is absolutely more awareness of male health down there. However, it’s not really socially acceptable to talk about your genitals in public if you’re a man or a woman. And I would say society has a much more lenient view towards damage to those genitals. Society is rife with talk about ‘ball-busting’, jokes about kicking men in the crotch and how much that hurts, and in America it’s a commonly accepted practise to mutilate male genitalia at birth

Men do flock to get penile enhancement surgery, actually I think there’s a problem with society caring too much about how a penis should function and spending too much money on that instead of women’s health care. The relationship between men and their orgasms is also fucked, if you talked to men at all about it you’d hear how they’re afraid to enjoy sex too much lest they orgasm too soon and how all their effort is spent not reaching that point. Sex for both genders has stopped being for mutual pleasure and is mostly performative in normal understanding.

Teenage boys endure joke after joke about how teenage boys smell horrible no matter what. It’s not healthy for anyone and I wish people took that more seriously.

The gender wage gap is more of a problem for women in general than for vagina-havers, trans women are paid less than the average woman (and the average trans man as well) so really the worst position to be in workplace-wise is potentially if you’re a woman with a penis.

>Imagine if the ideal male genitalia were small and hairless like a prepubescent boy’s, and larger/hairier male genitalia was considered gross and sloppy. It would be just as bad if it was the other way around. Which it is. Stigmatization and judging traits you can’t control is never good and society does it to both genders. The struggle a lot of men have with confidence and self-acceptance is real and it ain’t due to a natural judgement. No man is born thinking bigger dicks are better and that if yours is small, it’s worth less and you’re less masculine. It’s all societal messaging. And women really need to get better at not buying into and feeding this particular narrative.

Also it’d be nice if black men would stop being objectified for their genitalia too. And Asian men stopped being mocked for theirs.

Regarding hormone levels, jokes about men being stupid and testosterone-driven are rampant.

Older men are mocked for having lower T, I’ve met older men who were clearly insecure about those kinds of issues.

Also imagine if every woman who preferred men well-shaven was considered a pedophile.

>Imagine if men who had sex before marriage were considered filthy and licentious They are. Both men and women are shamed for premarital sex, especially by the older generation and in christian circles.

>Imagine if penises and scrotums were deemed “vulgar” and “obscene” in all contexts They are

>Imagine if men were barred from masturbation because sperm is reserved for reproduction They are

>Imagine if mens bodies were considered women’s property for them to control and serve their interests. This one is the biggest criticism I have of how society views women, while the objectification of the bodies of both genders is real, only one is instrumentalized into a resource which is the crux of my personal gripe against this kind of thing. So no disagreement here.

>imagine if women casually said things like, “beat that ballsack uuuup” or “destroy his dick” Y’all do, just not in a sexual way.

>… While men sit and chat with the boys on how to get their girlfriends to spend time with them and contribute to housework, what they hate about their bodies and joke how horrible sex is There might be a cultural thing here, do white people really do this? I keep hearing about this and never seeing it.

>Imagine if muscularity in men was considered “womanish” and “unappealing” and interests outside cosmetics, servitude and self-minimalism were viewed as “effeminating” to women Damn imagine if femininity in men was considered the same way and the metric for masculinity was set to an arbitrary and impossible standard. Imagine if men were derided and held in contempt for being feminine. Imagine if women were just as disgusted by feminine men as men were.

>Imagine if boys were encouraged to show their arms, backs, chests and stomachs before they hit puberty They are. Imagine if the norm was for women to swim shirtless and show up shirtless to beaches. Idk maybe my high school was weird for having a swim team and most other schools can’t afford them anymore.

>Imagine if all the male musicians were young, unhealthily-thin, airbrushed pop singers Imagine if all the male actors were unhealthily dehydrated. Granted, the shelf life of a male actor is longer because male characters can exist outside of a sexualized capacity, but when male characters are sexualized the norms are just as dumb.

>Once all these things are true for 10,000 years then we can talk about equality They’ve never been true for 10,000 years, beauty standards for both genders flip like a burger on a grill and everyone just thinks they’re the norm because everyone never looks at old art and has the historical literacy of a goldfish. The only enduring thing is the instrumentalization of female bodies for the sake of a patriarchy, and I’d rather not wait for 10,000 years for that to end.

This is my big gripe with radical feminism. So much of it seems like petty bullshit where people just pick over the tiniest differences between how the genders are treated and downplay how objectification and unfair stereotypes and other minor things affect one gender over another. Society projects an ideal of masculinity that is just as unfair, arbitrary, and unattainable as the ideal of femininity and men are just as miserable trying to meet it as women are.

There are real problems that are impossible to ignore like women’s health care, and how the societal norm is one prejudiced towards viewing women as objects and cattle at worst to naturally expected to be the kind caring ones at best, but people would rather compare and complain whether scrotum hair is more socially acceptable to flash on TV than unshaven thighs when both are equally unacceptable. It’s so anal and asinine, there’s so many more legitimate complaints to be had.

-i’m not quite sure where you live where men don’t constantly make dick jokes, sexually harass women talking about their dicks. maybe it’s bc I don’t interact with people who are fancy, but walk into any bar and you’ll hear it. as a lesbian, I hear it a lot- “maybe my dick will fix you.” I would absolutely love it if this wasn’t viewed as normal

-penile enhancement surgery is a small industry compared to labiaplasty, breast enhancement, etc. it does happen, but nowhere near the same scale. I feel like a lot of the points you’re trying to make fall flat due to ignoring scale/frequency.

-the orgasm gap is a real thing. most men don’t care about women’s pleasure- talk to any straight or bi woman and you’ll hear about it. women endured, and continue to endure, centuries of rape, forced marriage, the female orgasm was considered a myth until very recently. I don’t think there was a point in history when sex was largely about mutual pleasure.

-Men who have sex before marriage get high-fives for “scoring,” even in conservative christian communities such as my own. women, however, are shamed. the exception here being homosexuality, which is frowned upon regardless of sex.

-penises aren’t considered as vulgar as vulvas. great example: there’s thousands of songs talking about dicks, but everyone lost their shit over WAP. if that’s not a good example enough, people draw dicks everywhere all the time, almost every male comedian makes dick jokes, but you never see vulva graffiti on the same scale and female comedians, while they do joke about vulvas, it’s due to shock value, not because it’s one of the most common comedic topics.

-the masturbation one is probably a cultural gap, and I can only speak to the US tbh but that’s not a thing here. men constantly talk about jerking it, I’m not really sure how you’re online without having seen this.

-“y'all do but not in a sexual way,” yeah, that’s the point OP is making. It’s normal for men to say sexually violent things about our genitalia. this is really significant, given the rate of sex crimes committed by men against women.

-this isn’t a white thing, it’s a woman thing. I’ve sat and talked similarly with black female friends, indigenous friends, Hispanic friends. pretty much every woman with a male partner I’ve met has said something about housework, having their sexual pleasure ignored, etc. I’m not quite sure how often you talk to women w this one

-i don’t think your reading comprehension is great on this one- it’s about if we forced men to spend their time making themselves ornamental and acted disgusted by them if they don’t, much like we do to women such as myself who don’t do beauty rituals such as makeup, shaving, attempting to have the “ideal” body. male celebrities are nowhere near as shamed for appearance- name one fat male celebrity who has been mocked on the same scale as, say, melissa mccarthy or lizzo

-this isn’t about swimming, it’s about normal day to day clothes. people giggle and laugh when they see men in booty shorts and crop tops because it’s just,, not common or expected. I remember being gifted miniskirts, shirts with cleavage, as young as eight.

-again, I don’t know where you’re living where male actors are equally sexualized. look at any awards show- all the men are in suits, while many of the women are exposing skin left and right, it’s a scandal if they show up without makeup, and god forbid they age. think about why male actors have a longer shelf-life

-accidentally skipped around but I don’t really care if people call teenage boys stinky when teenage girls are sexually harassed, shamed into developing eating disorders, raped, etc.

-itd be just as bad the other way around wrt if male genitalia we’re expected to be small and hairless. Which it is. Yes, that’s the point of the OP- it’s role reversal. reading comprehension. I do agree with you about the racialization of black and Asian male genitalia, that is bad. however, Asian and black women are also sexualized in a really gross, racist way, so I don’t think it’s proof sexism against men is real so much as proof racism is real and sexuality is racialized.

-reading comprehension once again- OP wasn’t saying these specific norms have been going for 10k years, but that patriarchy has and women have been subjected to a variety of similarly oppressive expectations.

-i’m not finding many reputable sources on trans people and the wage gap, just self-reported data. I did find this article about lacking data, so please do cite your sources. I think there are good examples of famous trans people receiving praise and celebrity (Jenner being named woman of the year immediately after coming out, Dylan mulvaney), but that’s not relevant when discussing the lives of the working class, so moot point.

We do actually talk about women’s healthcare. I actually went across the country to work for abortion rights. We talk about sex trafficking often- I live by a reservation, it’s a huge issue here and it’s discussed a lot. We talk about abuse in porn, we talk about poor women being exploited by surrogacy. If you aren’t seeing us talk about it, you aren’t looking. I don’t see trans activists talk about surrogacy, sex trafficking, or abortion (beyond “men can get pregnant too!” and “trans rights are next to go!”)

We also talk about beauty standards because people can care about multiple things.

Women do have it worse, and that’s why it’s important to talk about. men have societal power over women- most of our lawmakers are male, most of our police are male (terrifying to be pulled over by a strange man at night, even moreso for WOC), most doctors are male and dismissive of our health concerns, most violent crime is committed by males. this is like saying “disabled people shouldn’t argue about who has it worse because abled people have problems too!” it’s whataboutism and just straight denying the fact that women are oppressed.

Daily reminder that women are conditioned into thinking that their partner watching porn is normal and that they still blame themselves when things like this happen... She had been sitting with this for over two years.

... and of course, there are geniuses like you would expect to find on reddit...

at least they get downvoted lmao

And I hope that at this point we all stop telling ourselves that there is no harm in the "men just want to watch porn, there is nothing wrong with that" narrative. Given how many women this has happened to, and how many men are making excuses, when do we finally start to see the fucking connection?

Also, tell me again that there is no need for feminism fighting for your sex-based rights? 🙃 she could have fucking died when her husband wasn't there for her because he wanted to watch porn.

This article pulls zero punches. Incomplete list of potential triggers: miscarriage, medical neglect, loss of fertility, infant death, vomit, maternal trauma, mention of genetic and birth defects, and forced pregnancy.

A prominent women’s chess player has accused a fellow player of rape and sexual harassment as she warned a “toxic culture“ of misogyny and sexually predatory behaviour plagues the chess community.

Sabrina Chevannes, a women's international chess master, said she was raped at a chess tournament by another contestant.

The 36-year-old, who quit professional chess in January 2017, told The Independent the incident happened when she was black-out drunk as a teenager.

She added: “I woke up in the linen room of the hotel on a table. I was in so much pain. I didn’t quite understand what had happened.

“While playing chess I was in so much pain I could barely sit down. Him and his friends were high-fiving about it.”

Ms Chevannes, who won ten British chess titles, said sexual harassment, sexual assault or discrimination against women has taken place at every chess tournament she has ever attended.

She has endured racism from fellow chess players, with people often assuming she had cheated when she did well in tournaments, she added.

She told of an incident at a chess tournament when a man who was a chess master groped her.

“I was 11 years old,” she recalled. “I wanted to have a picture with him because he was famous in this world. He posed for the picture but did this thing where he put his hand down my back touching my butt. Then he turned around and winked at me.”

She encountered him again at another chess event when she was a teenager where he told her he had seen her on the front of a chess magazine, she added.

“He said ‘You are developing so well’. I said ‘I was at my best rating’, and he said ‘No, I don’t mean developing like that’,” Ms Chevannes recalled.

“He said he may need another copy of the magazine as he said he had worn his down with all the night time reading. He looked at me in a creepy, lecherous manner. When he met me when I was 18, he said ‘now you are legal in all countries’.”

The former player said she would actively avoid tournaments where he was playing. She noted he sexually propositioned her a few years ago - asking her to go back to his hotel room.

Ms Chevannes said: “He used very racist misogynistic language to my face.”

She told of another incident where a different chess player offered to let her sleep in his hotel room as she was tired from her flight but couldn’t check into her room until mid-afternoon.

“He wasn’t in the room when I was sleeping but I woke up to find one hand down my pants and one hand in my bra,” she added. “He did the same thing again when I was in the same house as him and lots of others in the chess community.”

Ms Chevannes, who now coaches chess, said she did not report any of the aforementioned incidents to the police at the time as others warned her she would not be believed.

But she explained social media posts she recently shared about her alleged experiences had been seen by the police who are now looking into her claims.

Female chess players have come forward in recent weeks to make allegations of sexual assault, violence and harassment from male players.

Earlier in the month, 14 of France's top female players wrote an open letter, “denouncing the sexist or sexual violence they have suffered” in the chess community, with over 100 women in chess signing the letter in the space of only five days.

Ms Chevannes described the chess community as an “insular world” with a rigid hierarchy where people are judged by their chess abilities and women are perpetually belittled.

you know who doesnt use this term? sex buyers. they still call us hookers, whores, sluts.

this can be seen on websites like these:

a forum for german sex buyers which is called „whore rating“ hosted by pimping website „whores without taboos“. and yes, its as disgusting as you would imagine and worse.

this is an almost too good encapsulation of the whole liberal prostitution debate: to the outside, and in politics, they act like „sex work“ is work, a job like any other, while the reality is verbal, physical and sexual abuse. at what other job is it okay to advertise your workers as „total whores“, or for clients to call workers „dirty sluts“?

AAVE = African American vernacular English POC = person of colour

“Problematic” instead of naming the actual problem

“Femmephobia” and “queerphobia” instead of misogyny and homophobia