“brave”

why are you as an adult open-mouth coughing all over the place

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

I have GOT to stop spending $30

Songs you always skip but never take out of the playlist are important parts of the ecosystem they need to be there

I feed my white son clear broth

we've never found concrete proof of Nessie because we haven't loch'ed in

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

No I think it's really great when a friend group of approximately twenty seven individuals spread out in the sidewalk as they walk so nobody has to walk behind the group. There's nothing better than when I'm trying to get home and I see the tableau of Jesus at the Last Supper gliding towards me like Jamiroquai in the Virtual Insanity music video and I have to decide who has the narrowest frame that I can shoulder-check my way past

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors