Previously iscaredeath

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.

Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.

Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.

he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.

it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.

Rose "You're gay and it's really okay."

Shane "No it's not."

Rose "It is okay. I know it feels like it's not because of your autism, but it's really okay."

They ask who's going to score the most goals this season...

And Ilya chirps THE HELL out of "Hollander."

And Shane rolls his eyes, laughs, and chirps him right tf back.

And they're both giggling and kick each other lightly under the table.

And it's the first time they don't have to pretend to hate each other or resent the chirps.

And this transition/outing has been so hard and so stressful, but also, wow, maybe it will also be...

the mental image of that is hilarious

"But how did you...? Have you been wearing this the whole time? The whole ceremony?"

Shane is so fucking pleased with himself. "Surprise."

"So this is what you meant when you said you have big plans if you win. What if I won?"

And Shane tugs down Ilya's briefs so he can finally get to his cock after hours of shifting uncomfortably in his seat just desperate for it.

Masculanized an Asian character

Became a heartthrob as a POC

Gave an award-winning performance for a neurodivergent character

Is dating a woman after playing a gay man

Gets just as much praise as his white costar

Doesn't censor himself to fit in

like, I think he would just try to do the tunamelt style sneaky affection and accomodation and he would try to do I gradually, and he would neverrrr want to actually say words about it, because why would Shane actually want him as a boyfriend? That’s not a real option.

but, he can tell Shane that “you like prepping for game in calm space yes? My Boston house is calm. You can get fucked in bed and prepare to get fucked on ice there Hollander, da? Is just convenient” And he can obsessively swap out his sheets and hide his ashtray and stock his fridge with healthy food like look! Look I can be a good boyfriend! I have comfy clothes for you and safe food for you and soft lighting and eucalyptus 3-ply tissues just like the ones in your house and

And “oh do you like marking me up Hollander? Ahh well I must leave you a nice clean canvas then” See! Look my neck is unbitten and my back is unclawed and I’m so untouched by anyone but you, I’m only sleeping with you can you see? You don’t have to stop sleeping with anyone, you’re not mine but I’m yours, and I won’t ever ever take anything away from you but look I’m only for you without you even asking I would be so loyal-

and oh “would you like to tell me about your team? And your family, your mother is Japanese, yes? And what about baby Shane Hollander, would he be sad to know you are only second best player? Did you have childhood pets? What is your favourite colour?” See I can listen too, I’m so good to talk to, you’re all I want to talk about, I wish I could record your little stories in crystal quality and play them every night to get to sleep like a lullaby and I want to know you so well I can figure out how to make you happy because I want to be what makes you happy sososo bad and