Just A Humor Blog

It was a global problem

just blocked someone for an anti-tofu url. never let your guard down

a number of people seem to be interpreting this post as being about blocking people for silly petty reasons That is not my intention. This is a specifically pro-tofu post And it is serious to me. fuck you if you hate tofu

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

the authors open fetish that complements the themes of their work

important plot device thats also just authors fetish. call that a jackoffs gun

Microsoft windows is always like oh yeah, we closed all your programs and restarted your computer while you were asleep. but don't fret ☝️we installed some spyware as a gift 😃

cupping my hands together in the shower over my tummy letting them fill with water and spill over pretending i'm a beautifully detailed statue fountain in sicily that was modeled after the sculptor's wife that tragically passed and he considers it his greatest loss and he never remarried and wept while thinking about her every night until he died and an eclectic, sort of geeky and awkward art history student just finished his final about me in which he said that several historians consider me the most beautiful statue fountain in the world, and while that is true, he's also been obsessed with me since he saw a picture of me in a library book when he was young and i'm part of the reason for his taste in women as an adult and he's going to use the college fund money he secretly put away to go to sicily with his girlfriend to come see me because i was the art piece that made her feel beautiful and finally comfortable in her own skin after years of feeling unloved because i look just like her (she is also hopelessly in love with me) and he gently caresses the wedding ring in his pocket smiling gently glancing over at her glowing face as she makes eye contact with me and finally feels like everything is going to be okay. then i get shampoo. in my eye

I think the biggest "he would not fucking say that" I've ever experienced was when I read a terror modern au fic where the characters were doing land acknowledgements

let’s start parsing who does and doesn’t deserve representation and assign moral weight to agreeing to protect their rights I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong

Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends

honestly for all we know it probably feels good as fuck to have sex