Can somebody please @ emily blunt on twitter and show her this

If I say that I don’t want to bottom and you start pouting and saying that I should just try it and implying that you’re going to convince me to do it eventually. Like I don’t know what to call this other than “rapey”

scientist discovers a little animal awww

Probably around 15 times a year ill go into the group chat with my main girls and I’ll go on and on about how I met a guy and they’ll get like super hyped, and usually one will be like “it’s not going to be that picture again is it” and in like “lololol no I wish tho” and I’ll keep it going telling stories about how we met at a screening of Toy Story and that he’s really cute and kind of muscular but not to jacked and they always ask to see a picture of him and I go “hold on let me pull up his Facebook” and in the end I always send a picture of this man, and they’re like “I hate you so much” and don’t talk to me for a while but i will never give up on this joke

the weed vape pen really changed the entire fucking game forever. 

like ok im gonna go consume more thc than a lid of weed in 1978 while using the bathroom at my job. 

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs