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@phenomenalasterisk
i love being a pervert online with all of you

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT
(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store
i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me
i don't ship them i just think they could get ragebaited into having sex with each other
im fucking crying
hello. ?

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if i were a billionaire i would make a hooters for fat men in thongs so fucking fast
its called Milkies and you get to milk your condiments from them with fake udders while they pant and sweat and maybe moo a bit
im accepting donations and investments and applications
The mascot is a bara bull man in a thong and one testicle out and his name is Milky Mike and for extra money you can reserve him for a table where he breastfeeds you Dr. Pepper or other soft drinks
For birthday parties you can pay extra to have Eggy Eddie the werewolf lay an egg on the table and inside is a mystery gacha treat the whole family can enjoy except not really because this is a restaurant for adults only
theres a Woke Option for every meal on the menu where you can add extra estrogen, testosterone, or mystery hormone
but watch out
You can play a game of Slappies which is where you slap Milky Mike's tiddies like those carnival machines with the scores and if you reach 999 you get a free shirt and also get doused with breastmilk (or a soft drink for those who are lactose intolerant #accessibility)
my couchsona
Cats don't have thumbs, friend
And yet my pussy got that gorilla grip
women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open
String identified: a a: ttca-c a t ag t ata- , a a tg t t t a tg t t g t # a a ca t a tt a a a cat t
Closest match: Argentina silus genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Greater Argentine
(image source)
So, here’s the idea: early in their travels, Jaskier is constantly having minor panic attacks because he keeps realizing he’s traveling with the most beautiful wolf in the world. Geralt, of course, thinks this little rabbit is terrified of him and tries to keep his distance.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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are people talking about the labor conditions at Taylor Farms yet? like the fact they use enslaved prisoners in their facilities?
are we drawing the connection between worker safety and consumer safety & public health yet?
are people demanding to see the conditions in this place that keeps making us sick? why are the enslaved workers not having the time to use the bathroom or to rest when ill? very few people would shit in front of their coworkers given any choice at all.
you guys remember how the point of upton sinclair’s the jungle was that labor conditions in the meat packing industry, and the lives of the working poor at large were horrific and the only solution was socialism. and then the only takeaway people had was that the consequences of these inhuman conditions were that meat products were tainted. so instead of addressing the underlying labor rights issue the fda was founded and now we’re here.
are people talking about the labor conditions at Taylor Farms yet? like the fact they use enslaved prisoners in their facilities?
are we drawing the connection between worker safety and consumer safety & public health yet?
are people demanding to see the conditions in this place that keeps making us sick? why are the enslaved workers not having the time to use the bathroom or to rest when ill? very few people would shit in front of their coworkers given any choice at all.
you guys remember how the point of upton sinclair’s the jungle was that labor conditions in the meat packing industry, and the lives of the working poor at large were horrific and the only solution was socialism. and then the only takeaway people had was that the consequences of these inhuman conditions were that meat products were tainted. so instead of addressing the underlying labor rights issue the fda was founded and now we’re here.
a vampire, wrapped tightly with indestructible enchanted threads: No weapon forged against me shall prosper. a blacksmith using the vampire as an anvil while making a sword: Shut the fuck up.
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.
Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.
This is my new favourite post in the world
everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension
And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The wildest thing is just..... we kind of are ok, actually? I mean shit IS terrible. We just keep adapting.
And that seems very bleak.
Total destruction has been normalized. Chaos and disaster is just the new normal.
The world has been ending since 2020.
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you're welcome
obligatory reblog of this after I forgot to bookmark them (again)