Vukovich: 50/50 shit 'n' Shinola

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

if you have a very strong/powerful character and you DON'T muzzle and chain them and beat it into them that they're only good as a blunt instrument of violence and use their completely natural reactions to this mistreatment as 'proof' that they're innately dangerous and the mistreatment is necessary + justified then what's even the point tbh

have stretch marks on one boob... huh

Thats your evil boob

Party titty

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

so today a public health official guy came into my class to give a lecture on disaster awareness and he was talking about house fires and mentioned that the reason people most likely die during a house fire is because they refuse to leave their pet inside or they go back to get their pet. and right when he said this my friend immediately turned his head and looked at me and in that moment I had the most complete and genuine acceptance take over my body. I would 100% in front of my family and Jesus himself walk straight back into some raging inferno that was once my house to go get my fat cat. I nodded back

the best part of this post is reading all the tags from animal people who would also go back to save their pets. like no hesitation. walk backwards from heaven straight back into hell. someone even said they would go back for their fish. amazing

my couchsona

I would buy this and cover it in weird plush and sleep on it every night.

I absolutely blame Facebook for this shift. Words cannot describe how freaking WEIRD it was in the mid-00s when there was suddenly this popular website where you were required to use your real, brickspace name and encouraged to post photos of yourself. Every single bit of Standard Internet Safety prior to then said that you should never ever ever do either of those.

I literally CANNOT read the words "supine" or "prone" in anything without thinking about that post that's like "supine is when you lay on your s(u)pine and prone is when you lay on your pronis"

girl you must be a fine piss, the way I need to take you in this bar bathroom

I keep hearing John Green say he's retired from working and lemme just say John Green is the least retired retired person I've ever seen.

Happy pride to my friend and the headless fuck torso she bought

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

Dinosaur!! :D

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not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally