magic should fundamentally come with some insane drawbacks but also it should be. and this is crucial. sick as fuck.
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@phaewrites
magic should fundamentally come with some insane drawbacks but also it should be. and this is crucial. sick as fuck.

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I just heard a fucking noise, if it’s that fucking wizard again I’m boutta get on some who goes there typa shit ong
Heeeheehooohoo... Knicks Knacks on the floor
writing prompts! extremely vague situations edition
LiSTEN this is about spaghetti
In accordance with the convention of alcohol I have lost my shoes
Driving on the grass and it’s going to rain
You didn’t ask for this but I am a thoughtful friend
Twelve and something but I wasn’t counting
Yesterday was the day that was important but now it’s today and uh oh
Wait no don’t smile at me
I see…geese. geese and geese for miles
But if you think about it, you can’t stop
Oh you have deadly jars
Automatic doors, am I right
Signpost of uselessness if both ways are west
Forgot something. No I don’t know either
Checkpoint please
Desks are instruments of evil
Hi I do think it’s a big deal actually
Do you want some and if not do you swear not to be mad later that you didn’t get any?
I do know what that face means, I just feel like ignoring it right now
If only you didn’t knew
That is confidential and also I don’t like you
What things there are to do with cardboard boxes
Two cents! But nothing else ‘cause my brain is empty
Close your eyes and maybe I won’t exist
I told you the carrots were planning something
That’s one of the charms I’m immune to
I fear it’s an act of brainwashing and they scrubbed too hard
You think I won’t bite you and that’s just a really stupid assumption
Sounds like a story that I don’t wanna hear
Don’t tell me about leftover side effects, I invented that recipe
Do you want a free cupcake for only a small cost?
Woah you DO have a kid
You waited a whole year to continue to not tell me about this??
It makes perfect sense and you know it
That joke cost me, you know
earlier today i panicked and gave the guy at the pizza shop my phone number when he asked and he just texted me a jpeg of a rose with “hello” underneath

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Sexually ambiguous characters that you cant make eye contact with my beloved
Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block
“Where’s the next chapter?!” Well buddy you’re never gonna guess
What’s the comic sans trick?
#i feel like someone just asked me to eat dirt for my health
wingdings' true purpose as a font
Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.
Exciting. When I don't want to see what I'm writing I just make the font color almost indistinguishable from the background color. (Do not do this.)
(I don't think the secret to the comic sans hack is comic sans itself; I think it's any deflation of being intimidated by your canvas.)
Hold on I need to go look something up immediately.
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You hear a soft squeaking coming from a nearby tree stump. When you lean down to take a peek, you find a bat with a torn wing. You take it home, since there are no vets for miles around. Little do you know that it is a vampire bat who is struggling to turn into his human form.
oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.
phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?
call 911 and something that is definitely not a person picks up.
call 911 and get an operator only for the call to become increasingly weirder and more sinister until you realize that whatever picked up is not there to help.
text messages from someone who's dead. voicemails that sound like dead air until you turn the volume all the way up.
emergency alerts for weather that doesn't happen on earth.
Your phone rings - but it's your phone number on the screen. You answer it, but all you hear is heavy, laboured breathing. You go to say something, only to hear your voice on the other end tell you "It's too late," and hang up.
You get a message from a number you don't recognise. It's a picture of you from behind. You turn and see there's nobody there. When you look back at your phone, you see the sender has sent another text - "Sorry, wrong number."
Your phone rings - it's a private number. You answer it, only to feel the sensation of something licking your ear.
You wake up to find a voicemail. You play it back, only to hear an autotuned version of your own voice reciting a Bible passage - 1 Peter 2: 18-20.
You get an emergency alert. It says "I'm sorry."
me: *writes fic*
me: great! time to post to ao3-
ao3 summary box: *exists*
me:
ao3 summary box:
me:
ao3 summary box:
me:
Ooh, this is actually kinda a neat thing, because you can think of it as a checklist:
Who: Main character(s)
Why: Character goal or desire (stated)
Why: Character need (implied)
When: Inciting Incident
What: Means (that achieves the goal/need)
Where: Place A >> Place B
How: The Plan
Obstacle(s): antagonist or challenge
For example:
Who: Bilbo Baggins, a respectable hobbit of Hobbiton
Why: Treasure, wealth (stated)
Why: Adventure, self-respect (implied)
When: After supper
What: Quest
Where: Hobbiton >> The Lonely Mountain
How: A company of dwarves, a wizard, and an ancient map and key
Main antagonist(s): a dragon
Thus, in less than 100 words:
Bilbo Baggins is a respectable hobbit in Hobbiton, never making any trouble or having any adventures. But when a wizard and a company of dwarves invite themselves to dinner, Bilbo finds himself joining their quest from the shires of Hobbiton to the legendary Lonely Mountain, the home of a long lost treasure, and quite, possibly, a dragon.
~~~~
The Anatomy of Story by John Truby is a really good book by the by, if anyone’s interested in this sort of thing.
This is super helpful!’

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The only high school heterosexual romance I want to see is jock girl x nerd boy sorry the other ones have been too overdone give me a super confident basketball player girl and a guy who's a little terrified of her
Nerd boy: *is scrambling for books at his locker*
Basketball girl: *leans on the locker next to his like jocks do in high school movies*
Lemme guess: no other guy wants to go out with her because she’s too tall and, “intimidating.”
Actually no all the basketball dudes think she's super cool but she wants the calculus loser
It would be hilarious if the movie opens on the nerd boy narrating "I have a crush on the most popular girl at school..." as he stares longingly in the middle of the hallway, then the camera pans around to show the popular girl isn't a cheerleader but instead she's a jacked jock and she's lifting a classmate up and down in the middle of a crowd with her fellow jocks (of all genders) cheering her on
The camera pans over someone who only appears from the shoulder down, passing them over to focus on a petite blonde cheerleader. Nerd boy clears his throat.
"Jessica? No no no, she's nice but not my type. Also, she's gay. Go back."
The camera hesitantly moves focus off the cheddar and onto the person whose head isn't even in frame.
"There we go."
Cue the pan up to reveal a jacked 6'2'' queen.
"Perfect."
no one should be killed for it but i hate this homework
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
you can literally never go wrong with having diners in your story regardless of its genre. like they're false beacons of hope, they're safe havens for the lost and unwanted, they exist as a bridge between worlds, they're haunted by the memories of all the people who have been there before, they're both cozy and eerie, and they're literally always there. every town has a diner. every town knows what those flickering red lights mean. and stories about diners never fail to fuck severely.
new fic trope just dropped

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time loop that’s set to end when you’ve completely fucked your life up in a blaze of hedonistic glory under the assumption that it’ll all just reset at the end of the day
time loop with an arbitrary end condition that’s supposed to only be achievable by learning a lesson and growing as a person, but you keep escaping after like four to seven loops without changing or improving anything but your ability to do weird shit that the wizard didn’t anticipate
#timeloop but instead of finding the victory condition you spend your infinite time learning wizardry and then break out of the lop by force (via @nadja-855)
time loop where you trap the wizard in a time loop instead
time loop where you’re trapped until you stop making self-deprecating jokes on my funny time loop post.
Hey what happens if a warlock's patron dies?
I imagine pact being a two-way soul link. Warlock dies, patron gets a soul that was well fed with magic. Patron dies? Their soul is split into pieces and absorbed by each of the warlocks... that would be interesting story. Group of warlocks wants to put the soul back together and revive their patron. Others want to absorb rest of soul pieces and usurp full patron's power for themselves
Disaster casters meet and join forces to resurrect their magic dad. Found family trope included
You know what, that's much better story