War Crime Wizard

my blog is a safe space for me. the rest of you are in danger i think

and tax evasion?

ohohoho you're not going to trap me THAT easily, wizard-council-bureaucrat!

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet

i love you rice with some bullshit

The masculine urge to become a mountain man. Only come off the mountain twice a year to get supplies. Farm and harvest and hunt and build everything else. Talk to myself constantly. Stop coming into town for a few years after the age of 76. The sheriff finally comes up to check on me and finds the door to my shack wide open and my skeletonized body lying in bed, tucked up under the covers. They all forgot my name so they just put ‘Mountain Man’ on my tombstone. Shack left to decay but I’m not quite done having fun. My ghost lures lost hikers in and makes them keep me company. They come off the mountain rambling about the crazy old man in the hand hewn log cabin with fire in his eyes and leaves on the floor. I was alone in life but I don’t want to be lonely in death.

Whew guys sorry about that! Had a funny turn for a moment. Back to normal now.

If you asked Todd, he would know my name. 93 years old, blind as a bat with arthritis so bad he can’t move his fingers, rotting away in that horrible place his niece put him. He’d know. A smile would come to his dry lips to think of me, his fellow mountain man. He can no longer see but in his mind he sees me the way I was, in overalls with my rifle over my shoulder hunting squirrels. He knows my name but he dares not speak it. The words on my grave a more worthy epitaph. I wait for him on the mountain. None of the hikers that stumble in are ever him. He’ll return shortly, I’m sure. I’ll make him coffee on the wood stove one day. We’ll share some venison. He’ll come back from the holler. I know he will.

i love when videogames (and other media but ive mostly seen it in videogames) have like. holidays that are BASICALLY earth holidays but repainted slightly. like yeah no we dont have christmas here we have... snowflake day. winterfest. the feast of the winter star. it's like when you get off-brand versions of trademarked properties except nobody owns christmas and halloween (last time i checked) so i truly think they just do this for the fun of it. and it is fun. they're correct.

why are towels expensive. that’s a rectangle