Hurr durr I'm a blog

Getting into a KarAkciddent and splashing 3 cups of FükkenScälden all over myself

“paid subscription with ads” is fucking crazy. if you pay for a service and then get served an ad on said service you should be allowed to pipe bomb its executive at no legal risk

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

stg the next person to say 'oooh it's so nice that it's summer it's supposed to be hot in 4 months the weather's gonna be bad again enjoy this while it lasts' *will* catch these hands and i am not joking

reblog to add: let's spin the wheel on whether i can finish my lukewarm shower before my gas boiler shuts down because the exhaust air can't flow out anymore because the heat plugs it LEST I GET CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

certified door post

learning that 5 minute crafts is a russian mafia operation wasn't on my 2026 bingo card but also doesn't really surprise me

its what

Hey what

oh. i’m sure its fine and normal that a video investigating the massive bot farm/slop channel shell company connections to the russian mafia and youtube’s own implication by allowing it to continue for profit has mysteriously vanished with no word from op.

also sorry i’m so tired of people acting like they can have nothing in common with someone a few years older or younger than them. have you never had coworkers who aren’t your exact age. have you never taken an art class with someone thirty years older than you. have you never had a friend. like did covid fry everyone’s brains this badly