been told people are gonna think Iâm a porn bot so here I am saying I pinky promise I am a real person
occasionally subtle

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YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosmic Funnies

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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shark vs the universe

izzy's playlists!
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@perhaps-mayhaps
been told people are gonna think Iâm a porn bot so here I am saying I pinky promise I am a real person

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her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily
to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
all of our trobles seem so small from up here
did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning
did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it
little bit of advice: if you can't tell if a post online is a joke, you should always assume that it is not a joke and the op is either an idiot with an inflated ego or is lying on purpose for malicious reasons. in both cases the best course of action is to aggressively correct them and insult them, maybe even threaten to kill them
the buddha taught this
my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
OP the tags!!

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losing my miiiiiind at this bust of augustus at the louvre. why does he look like that. he looks so wet. he looks like he whimpers
Marcel Marien, Star Dancer, 1991
my most lukewarm take is that I don't think there should be any exemptions for vaccines, etc., beyond documented legit adverse medical shit that makes it physically impossible. like they should be free and required and nobody should be allowed to just choose to leave their child and any immunocompromised person they interact with vulnerable to potentially deadly but entirely preventable diseases and other medical conditions.
my lukewarm addition to this is that i think refusing your child vaccines is child abuse, just like refusing to feed them
its always the tiny gay cowboy and his tiny gay roman boyfriend, never the bi cowboy and his bi cowboy/martial artist boyfriend. owen wilson didnât play a fruity western boy TWICE to be disrespected like thatÂ
no bc Iâm being serious! weâve been way too quiet about them for way too long!!!!!!
pls watch these (shanghai noon and shanghai knights) and give these romantic besties ur love! itâs literally a western romcom
valid valid valid valid
ok ive seen nolans odyssey and what the fuck was that actually
Parts that made me tweak in a dim-lit movie theater:
1. Every time we meet a woman or enslaved individual that, yâknow, had some semblance of agency in the text, Nolan has just⊠removed that? Circeâs commanding presence & how she genuinely overpowers Odysseus? Gone. Helen actually stealing the show in Book 4 where she walks down into the room and controls the conversation re: Odysseus & Troy? Gone. Utterly Gone. Lupita Nyongâo gets 0 chance to speak on her own terms and its actually so depressing. Also Iâm genuinely unsure here but it seemed like Circe & Calypsoâs divine status was⊠nonexistent?? Theyâre both goddesses but apparently not to Christopher Nolan đ«€
And this treatment extends to Odysseusâ slaves, specifically Eumaeus & Eurycleia (eurynome & philoetius not appearing in this goddamn film ifg). Almost every action taken by Eurycleia in the Odyssey is attributed to someone else in Nolanâs adaptation, she gets 0.2 seconds of screentime, its actually absurd. I think she has two lines in the whole movie. Eurycleia. Odysseus and Telemachusâ nurse. The woman who canonically organizes the doors to be locked during the suitorâs slaughter? Who canonically helps secure Telemachusâ provisions for Pylos? fuckin. Not There. And Eumaeus (who literally perfectly models xenia to a disguised Odysseys while living in extreme poverty) notably Does Not Get To Do That in Nolanâs odyssey, instead heâs like. injured I guess? Iâm so fuckin confused as to why that happened, it just made the plot more convoluted. Medon is also just not there at all. Medon who is actually the fuckin best?? My underestimated king??? Where Is He.
2. oh my god everything abt the scene with Polyphemus makes me want to claw my eyes out (except maybe his eye? that looked kinda cool idfk). yknow how polyphemus appears, speaks to the crew, and they let their guard down? how the polyphemus episode represents the world outside of greek customs like xenia? how he fucking talks to them? he talks to them and his neighbors? yeah. in Nolanâs odyssey, there are no neighbors. there is no existential mirror/cyclopean foil to ithacan society. there are no other cyclopes. He doesnt even fucking talk đđ <- i mean he gets one line but the audios so distorted that without captions i had no idea what he said
3. Anticleia reunion scene? Nonexistent. Laertes? Nonexistent. Allegedly still around. Sir Not-Appearing In-This-Film. Book 15 reunion between Telemachus and Odysseus? Nonexistent. Reunion between Odysseus, Eumaeus, and Philoetius? Not there. The fucking marriage bed scene? The goddamn marriage bed? NOT THERE. screams into a bag
4. ODYSSEUS âDIDNT WANT TO RETURN HOMEâ đ they keep fucking saying this over and over again too and. No he very much did. No home means no guaranteed kleos guys. his sons life is in jeopardy but Ok christopher shitlan do whatever the fuck you want, i guess
5. every time i heard them say âour civilization is collapsingâ or âthey say the peoples from the sea are attackingâ or âour age of bronze is endingâ not only did i feel my soul die a little more inside but i also kept thinking âman, this sounds a lot like the white supremacist belief in âwestern civilizationâ just superimposed onto a falsified image of the late bronze ageâ and thats because It Is.
strange decisions:
1. boar scar apparently occurred when odysseus was an adult???
2. elliot pageâs sinon gets one helluva backstory which i guess was kinda cool if you ignore elliot page getting brutally slaughtered in the first 30 seconds of the movie? not sure how to feel about that
3. travis scott kept showing up randomly which was like. fine i guess? genuinely im not sure what the difference between him & phemius was supposed to be. i didnt even see phemius. tbf i was taking notes this whole time so maybe i missed him? but travis scott shouldve just been phemius idfk why he wasnt
4. The Phaecians are just not there guys and i have no idea why. odysseusâ wanderings are being narrated to calypso?
5. the crew mutinies at scylla instead? odysseus tries to sail towards charybdis??? this was a bizarre sequence
6. no nestor or peisistratus. somehow telemachus sails to the 100% inland palace of menelaus. who needs a chariot when youâve got a Boat i guess
7. half of my notes just say âwhat happened to show, donât tellâ because the amount of exposition made me want to slam my head into the wall
highlights:
1. anne hathaway and tom holland had a very good dynamic, i feel like they really captured some of the tension between penelope & telemachus, ie penelope running the house for 20 years and still assuming some of that authority vs. telemachus trying to grow up/assume control of the household/establish his own kleos. loved that dynamic tbh. one of the better parts of the telemachy sections
2. lupita nyongâo was great in the uh. 30 seconds she had on screen. im so serious helen was fucking robbed in this movie
3. himesh patel fucking carried every scene he was in on his Back
4. rare cicones appearance
maybe the real sea peoples was the troy we sacked along the way

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Something I think ppl who aren't used to it struggle with when it comes to ancient history is that frequently 'we do not and cannot know this' is the only truthful response a historian can give. People severely overestimate how much we actually know about Ancient Rome.
I remember talking to someone at a party once about the debate over Septimius Severus's ethnicity (whole other can of worms) and they asked if genetic testing of his remains was not a way to settle it and I was like oh. Oh okay you are under the impression we have the physical remains of Roman emperors from the second century AD alright then. (We. Do not.)
Can't stress how much of high level study of Ancient History is devoted to trying to make sense of what actually factually happened. When I was at university (10+ years ago now) the discipline was embroiled in the lengthy and ongoing process of trying to unpack not just the biases in ancient sources but the centuries & centuries of biases within the field itself. I don't imagine this process is ever going to Stop. It's not uncommon for historical accounts to be so garbled & contradictory that it's not possible to reconstruct the real events behind them.
Once in an introductory lecture one of my professors was talking about this problem and articulated it very simply as 'we know real things happened between real people, but we aren't sure what they were'. Sums it up really!!
I just saw a video title on YouTube that said something like âWhy is glass transparent?â And thatâs an interesting question and Iâm sure itâs great that the video exists but my first thought was like âBecause glass is terrible, obviously.â Because itâs unwieldy and letâs out warmth and needs to be heated to hundreds of degrees to be shaped and turns into hundreds of tiny daggers if you drop it. Why the hell would we bother with that if it didnât have some magical quality like being totally transparent despite being solid? Glass is transparent because if it werenât, weâd use something else.
looking through my âmeâ tag and this is apparently what I was thinking 3 years ago
If youâre still curious we did not start working glass for its transparency. It was most likely started as a sanitary concern. Glass is easy to clean with soap and water, once itâs cleaned out you can use it again for anything and no germs or flavor from the previous meal or drink will remain.
Other materials at the time, namely clay, would absorb flavors and germs meaning that if you ate beef off a clay plate your next meal with that plate could have beef flavor and microbes common on cow meat on it. That would leak out seemingly at random no less. Heck imagine a sick person coughing into their soup bowl and then months later their germs hiding in the clay would pop out to infect whole new people.
Also the earliest human use of glass we know of is for its sharpness. Pre-historic people would use volcanic glass as sharp knives for food preparation. Also beads. Pretty much any new substance humans get their hands on for most of our history we immediately try to make into beads.
The fact that it could become see through was a side benefit.
this is amazing and Iâm really glad I reblogged that old bullshit post because I got to learn this
christians: what could possibly be in that evil bookâŠ. what horrible spells does it hold within its pages⊠what black magic does it propagateâŠ.
the talmud: so if you send your kid off to Torah school but he has a really hard time with it, send him back home and go to school yourself instead so that once youâve learned Torah you can go and teach your entire family. in fact, once some rabbi went out to go to Torah school and do just this, and on his way he came through this town and he asked if he could stay in the synagogue for the night. and of course the rabbi said yes but weird enough no one was in the streets and something was kind of off about the whole place. so our hero went into the synagogue only to find a seven headed demon just hanging out in the library!! our hero is terrified and prays super hard and because of this the demon is vanquished. he goes back to the rabbi and is like âdude wtfâ and the rabbi was like âlisten i know this is unorthodox but youâre well known for how good at praying you are and this demon has been terrorizing us for well over a month and we were desperate. we knew you wouldnât dieâ and the guy was like âi didnât know that!â who do you think is in the right? hm. tough question. anyway. what were we talking about again? oh right. what if you make your sukkah doorway 1/7 of a cubit too short. would that be fucked up or what
look up Bavli Kiddushin 29b <3
Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you
Yes!
Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.
You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the âdrop phone in putty bucketâ technique. I think youâre just posting this for clout
Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.
MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"
Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.
My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says âyouâre half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if youâve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says itâs got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.â
IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?
Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.
characters will literally get a headache or nosebleed out of nowhere and be like "huh. weird. well it's probably nothing." girl, look around you. you're in a story. it's relevant to the plot.

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Not to be rhe ten millionth person to say âUSAmerican President Donald Trump Is An Incoherent Public Speaker Whose Train Of Thought Can Be Best Described As Scat Jazzâ but I just remembered that when he talks at international events it is several dozen peopleâs job to translate what heâs saying and what he intends to say to world leaders in real time
And I desperately wish to hear how they do it
If anyone reading this isnât fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible childrenâs game
Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like âJ'Ă©tais sur internet l'autre jour â internet, la plus grande invention amĂ©ricaine. Et la Chine a âinternet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est gĂ©nial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine⊠Chine, Chine, Chine⊠Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilĂ ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'AmĂ©rique. Et la Chine va nous dĂ©tester pour ça. Ils vont nous dĂ©tester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseauxâ. And people will lose their minds
International translators have had this problem for A While - if they *don't* clean up what he says to sound coherent, they look like they're doing a bad job.
Explore Trump translation challenges, tips for interpreters, and 2025 strategies for accurate political translation and Trumpslation success
oh my god
There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.
The German live interpreter for Trump's inauguration speech went viral after going "HOW LONG DO YOU WANT THIS SHIT TO GO ON???" in the middle of translating his speech.
Governments can be useful to the governed only so long as inherent tendencies toward tyranny are restrained.