I'm a clown and life is my carnival

women want me for my huge cock (silicone) and my huge tits (silicone) and my funny pointed wizard hat (silly cone)

feeling Bad, I’m gonna go on petfinder and find the most bizarre cat names possible, will report back with any notable ones

if i was an animal and i knew i was being observed and researched i would do something super fucked up. but only once. never again. ruin their lives. keep them guessing.

Don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Including Coelacanths.

the tsa stops me because my carryon had too much liquid and they open it and its just full of blood

hi, frequent flyer here. they'll actually let you carry on up to 5 liters of blood as long as its in your vascular system

i don't have a vascular system this is the best i can do

you know i got that wiimote strap on

i didn’t mean it like that and y’all know it :(

one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

the worst part of this is that they’re on chess dot com instead of getting an education. but the BEST part of this is watching high schoolers develop the weirdest goddamn strategies I’ve ever seen. One of my students invented something he calls the “evil advisor gambit” where he gets a third person to give out constant terrible advice to both teams hoping that his opponent falls for it straight-up or that his opponent thinks HE fell for it and will act accordingly thus worsening their own strategy. he has won every game he has been able to pull off a coordinated evil advisor gambit in. this is chess innovation never before seen in its 700 years on earth

r/stupiddovenests features so many mourning doves which is insane to me i didnt know they were so bad at this. always thought the bad nests was a feral pigeon thing

happy rat vs webcomic day, where every year the rat seems to get a little stronger