I think you dialed the wrong romcom

Sexy Crab Fisherman is a choice, certainly.

I think part of the problem is that these costumes are emphasizing Sexy above all else. The Miss Thailand and Miss Philippines costumes can be a lot more whimsical and elaborate because they’re not trying so hard to display maximum leg and cleavage.

Proving my point, Miss Arkansas.

No idea what the theme is meant to be here, but at least it’s bedazzled.

…Girl. No.

Removing the state seal would make me like this 50% more, and yet still less than even my least favorite Miss Philippines costume.

I think this is a Tribute To Chemical Engineeering. So, points for concept and significantly fewer points for design, construction, and chutzpah.

Okay I do think it’s funny that the flamingos are kind of janky and poorly color-matched to the rest of the (decently constructed) costume.

Okay this is the one bright spot for me. I do kind of love this. That hand at her waist is fake and her right arm is actually inside the trout head. The bodysuit is decently detailed, and I like the headdress.

Apparently Illinois has fluorite mines? Sure. The headdress and the backpiece are crooked in opposite directions, and one of the boots is falling down.

Remember the three-dimensional models I pointed out on that one Tribute to Space Exploration Miss India costume? Well, here’s what happens when we take a cardboard cut out with a P-47 bomber printed on it and just stick it on a woman’s head. The flags are so unnecessary, also.

Absolutely not. Putting a model telescope on your head doesn’t make this not a sequined minidress with a cape. For shame.

Here’s the thing. Miss Philippines 2023 wore it better.

Like, I get it. But rule 1 of the national costume competition should be “never wear anything that could remotely pass for real clothes in the real world.”

I mean, it’s a Mardi Gras furry. It’s fine.

What even is this? What is the theme? I had to look it up and somehow this is allegedly Charlotte’s Web inspired. Your guess as to how is as good as mine.

Again: Just Say No to 2-D cardboard cutouts. And it’s crooked.

This Minnesota Vikings Valkyrie is, at least, decently designed and constructed. I like the ombré drapes and the headdress.

Oof. This is like if the Cottingley Fairies girls only had issues of Playboy to cut the pictures out of.

I respect the choice of Tribute To Missouri Native Bob Barker, I just think it could be done better than this.

We’re grading on such a curve here. This Tribute To A Native Wildflower is somehow in my top 10.

Yes, Miss Nebraska is a sexy peacock, it’s whatever. Here’s the thing, though: she’s specifically a peacock from the Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium, and I just finished watching Dimension 20: City Council of Darkness, so that was really funny to me specifically.

This is like the Platonic ideal of Miss Nevada costumes. Does she just wear the same one every year? If you asked chatgpt to design a Miss Nevada costume this would be it.

Literally how is this supposed to be lilac. That’s not what lilac looks like.

Oh my god. For real? Sexy Cabbie? That’s what we’re doing here?

I don’t hate this, but too much of it is still clothing you could wear in real life.

That! Is a prom dress!! Go home!!!

lol this looks aggressively DIY. Party city ass lookin jumpsuit. I can see where you missed spots with the glitter and the paint.

Finally we have someone who has outdone her Miss Philippines counterpart. This is a Tribute To Indigenous Ballerinas, Especially Maria Tallchief, and I’m going to ignore that one loose feather and award a point for your headdress not being crooked.

I mean, honestly, whatever. Sure. Fine.

I’m not sure why Generic Concept of America At 250 requires an enormous top-heavy rhinestone crown that’s visibly tilting forward off your head. On second thought, I do understand why. I just don’t think that you chose that metaphor on purpose.

How do the flame motifs relate to the bedazzled shoulder anchors? Also, what is going on with your ribs?

The feathers are fine, I guess, but everything worn on her actual body looks tacky af.

I thought I could at least count on Texas to Go Big, but no. Tribute To Bluebonnets.

… I think I need someone who knows more about Mormonism than me to explain this.

This is only barely giving ‘fall foliage,’ but I get it. You wanted to wear a lot of feathers. Fair enough.

I’m frustrated, because I love the concept of this. But the execution is simply not up to the task.

A silver pleather mini skirt and halter top, paired with a flower crown and a shimmery cape, are completely acceptable things to wear to a music festival. Unfortunately, this is the Miss USA pageant. 



This just looks so cheap. I can’t even be creatively mad at it.



Absolutely not. Go the fuck home. That is a cocktail dress!!!!!

This pattern is for printing onto A4 but you can check your scale with the measurements I've provided or just play around with how big or small you want to try and make them! i didn't really get any wip photos of pip mouse but it's method is largely the same with the nose being the major change, which i will detail in text in the instructions below.

for sugar mouse i would recommend using polar fleece as it will act the right way for the ears to do their squishy marshmallow looking thing. but minky should also work or other similar fabrics! for pip mouse if you can find a similar curly looking fabric with a thin backing that'll be ideal but fleece will also work well, you just wont get the furry texture, you want a fabric with a little bit of stretch to it. i however would not recommend fabrics like felt or non stretch cotton for these guys as it's likely to not take shape the same as there's no give to the fabric.

once you have printed out the pattern and cut the pieces in your fabric, you'll want to sew the ears up and turn them inside out, then put them aside for later. just leave them as is for now but here you can see i was playing around with pinching the turned through ear into shape.

Then moving on, sew the back pieces together along the spine and front of face. you then want pull the bottom open ends apart gently and place the open sides flat up against the base piece so that they're aligned, it can be good to pin this in place so it doesn't shift.

then, get your tail rope, and tie a knot at either end, placing the base of it inbetween the seam at the butt so that it'll sit in the right place, then sew the seam up directly with the tail in place, make sure you sew through the rope to secure it and make sure it doesnt shift. Sew around the bases seam leaving a hole in one side so that you can then turn your mouse through.

once turned through you will want to stuff your mouse with polyfill quite a bit so it takes shape! i like to put weighted beans in mine for extra effect, you can use dried rice or wheat too, just sew a little circle pouch a bit smaller that the mouses base with scrap fabric and fill and seal! then insert into the turning hole while you stuff. once stuffing is done you can sew the hole up with a ladder stitch. the weight from the beads will allow your mouse to sit up quite well.

next you will want to get those ears you put aside, take each corner and bring the ends together in the middle. then sew them gently together at the ends with one or two stitches in about the same spot. you want them to look 3d so dont sew the ends to the back of the ear, just end to end so they meet in the center.

Then pin the ears in place on the head

then you need to ladder stitch the ears in place while they're pinned so they dont shift around, go all the way around the outside edge of each.

now you're almost done! next they just need a face! sugar mouse only needs embroidery by way of a french knot for both the eyes and nose (you can find good video tutorials on how to sew a french knot online), pip mouse will also need a french knot for the eyes but has a separate process for it's nose. (for the pip mouses nose you will need to leave the marked nose hole open and then stitch the nose fabric to the square nose backing in line with the dotted direction on the pattern, (it should look kind of baggy when it's unstuffed) sew it up completley with no hole, then cut a tiny slit in the backing and add polyfill there before closing with a basic stitch, then you ladder stitch the nose directly to the marked nose hole)

in order to hide the embroidery anchor knots i find the best way is to start by going down through the middle of the ears and then coming back up where you want the eye to be, and then going back down and up through the ear for the finishing knot, as it creates a very easy cover for them and looks nice and clean!

then you have yourself a little buddy!