Parasite

Less than an hour ago, Shenpup agreed to a mutual grooming session. That means they slobbered all over each other… and in puppy terms, Shenpup is now legitimately his! 😤💕

"I'll be frank, Rudbeckia" Freya began, her voice as sharp as a knife's edge. "I don’t think you’re the right match for Izek"

Rudbeckia, who had been in a contemplative silence (Well, she was actually evaluating the salon curtains, finding them excessively ornate to the point of bad taste), was forced to focus on the young woman with purple eyes. 'Is she talking to me?' She wondered, pointing at herself in a gesture so belated it almost showed dust settling.

Looking back, Rudbeckia’s life had always been a carousel of the absurd (She had spent her days dying and reviving in an endless cycle to appease The Entity! Of course her sense of normality had twisted like a pretzel!), but even she had to admit this latest turn of events was perplexing.

Just hours earlier, she was in the realm of Haddonfield, playing cat and mouse with that scoundrel Michael Myers (The rascal kept trying to impale Illyana on a hook!), while her companions, Cale, Shen Jiu, and Penelope, busied themselves repairing the last generator…

How had she ended up being catapulted to another world that, by some cosmic joke, turned out to be her first life? Not that she had memories of it, but still, who was the genius who brought her back? And why had they separated her from her beloved girlfriend and comrades?

Illyana, this poor Rudbeckia misses you! But fear not, Rudbeckia will find a way back to you.

"Do you think that because Izek treats you kindly, you deserve to marry him?" Freya spat the words with venom so subtle it almost floated in the air, while she poked Rudbeckia’s chest, hoping to provoke tears or at least a grimace of pain on her unperturbed face.

"Marry?" Rudbeckia blinked, surprised by the mention of such a commitment. Her mind, usually drifting in a state of blissful intoxication by the presence of her attractive girlfriend, accelerated at a dizzying speed. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying not to appear completely clueless, though she was known to be slower than a snail in an obstacle race when it came to matters unrelated to Illyana. "Why would I marry anyone other than my precious, magnificent, and adorable Lyna?" The response came automatically, with a tone of indignation suggesting that the mere idea was blasphemous (And this coming from someone who had at one point shared blood ties with Myers).

Marry some Izek in this life? Never! Rudbeckia was resolutely loyal to Illyana. She had dreamed of her ideal wedding with Illyana more than once. Lyna, dressed in white, adorned with the most dazzling jewels in the world, and Rudbeckia, crying tears of joy, would cling to her future wife’s waist as she dramatically fell to the ground, overwhelmed by the honor of being loved by Lyna. Rudbeckia would try to kiss the ground Lyna walked on, but she, as benevolent as a saint, would pull her up by the hair (Yes, yes!) to calm her, patting her back and giving her looks full of sweetness and affection.

"W-What?"Freya froze at Rudbeckia’s torrent of words, unable to fully process what she had just heard. "Are you mocking me?" She retorted, gripping her fan so tightly the ribs creaked. "Who the hell is Lyna?"

"My future wife!" Rudbeckia proclaimed with such vehemence it seemed she had opened the floodgates of a dam that everyone (Cale, Shen Jiu, and Penelope) had decided to keep locked with padlocks and possibly tons of cement. The passion and love Rudbeckia felt for Illyana were so intense and cheesy they bordered on exasperating. "The woman for whom I would give my life! No, forget that, if anything happened to Lyna, I would raze this unworthy world to ashes and then join her in death"

Rudbeckia loved talking about her girlfriend. She could spend hours, entire days, rambling about any detail of Illyana, to the point it was worrisome how she could speak nonstop without taking a breath in those moments when you had the misfortune to ask her about 'Lyna'.

Cale thought Rudbeckia had a problem… but Rudbeckia had no problem! Nothing in this universe was worth or as fascinating as Illyana! Rudbeckia was born to adore that precious, ethereal woman!

"No, wait…" Freya didn’t expect to stutter, but she also didn’t expect this young woman, daughter of a conservative and devoutly Church-going family, to speak so rapidly about a woman, whom she described as: 'The Goddess of Goddesses, before whom all should bow and feel grateful if Illyana ever glanced at them!' "Stop… Are you even breathing!?"

"Look, look, I have pictures of her!" Rudbeckia, ignoring Freya’s frantic attempts to stop her, pulled out a wallet from nowhere (Do wallets exist in this world? No? Luckily, Rudbeckia always carries hers, filled with photographs she took with the full consent of her beautiful albino!) and unfolded it, showing images of an albino woman with long, wavy hair, vibrant fuchsia eyes, and soft features that seemed to hold all the calm and patience of the universe.

Freya could only watch in horror as the object extended to touch the floor, and not only that, she was sure the wallet had wrapped around a nearby column. What kind of sorcery was that!?

"And what about Izek!?" Freya tried to regain some ground against Rudbeckia’s verbal onslaught.

But it was useless. Every attempt was stifled by sharp pain, a cruel reminder of his wounds. His vision blurred, and black spots danced before his eyes, making him question if he could withstand another attack.

It was then that he felt a presence in front of him, a dark energy that made him shiver, not just from fear, but from something deeper, something that came from a place buried in his subconscious, a hazy memory he couldn’t reach. Someone crouched in front of him, and before he could react, a cold and powerful hand grabbed his chin, forcing him to lift his head.

The face he found belonged to no being of this world. Luo Binghe looked at him with a mixture of satisfaction and disdain, as if Tartaglia's weakness was a spectacle he enjoyed every second of.

"How pathetic" Luo Binghe said, clicking his tongue with a slight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. They were dark eyes, infinitely deep. "It’s a shame to see my dear Shizun reduced to this"

Tartaglia tried to look away, but Luo Binghe’s hand held him firmly. A distant scream cut through the air, pulling Tartaglia from his confused thoughts. It was Teucer, his younger brother, calling him with a mix of panic and desperation. Tartaglia felt as if a dagger had pierced his heart. He wanted to turn towards the sound, but the iron grip on his chin prevented him.

"Don’t worry, Shizun. I won’t hurt him… yet" Luo Binghe spoke in a softly threatening tone, a tone that sent a shiver down Tartaglia’s spine. "But maybe you should give me a good reason not to"

Tartaglia felt a primal panic, one he hadn’t felt since he fell into the Abyss, grip his insides. The image of his siblings, defenseless against this monster, made a primitive fury begin to boil within him. He wouldn’t allow Luo Binghe to touch them.

"Don’t you dare touch them!" Tartaglia spat the words with fierce intensity, clenching his jaw so tightly he felt his teeth might break. His eyes, usually filled with icy indifference, now brimmed with a dangerous mix of hatred and desperation. A spark of Electro briefly flickered in his pupils, a reflection of the intensity of his emotion.

Luo Binghe observed the transformation with interest, his smile widening slightly. "Ah, there’s the look I remembered. But it’s still not enough, Shizun" His thumb caressed Tartaglia’s cheek with a tenderness that felt completely out of place, almost reverent, while his other hand slowly slid towards the hilt of his sword. "Maybe I should teach them a lesson, just to make sure you understand your place"

Tartaglia felt his body move on its own, fueled by adrenaline and desperation. With his injured and trembling hand, he grabbed Luo Binghe’s arm with all the strength he could muster. "Don’t you dare" He repeated in a trembling voice, but it was loaded with such deep hatred that anyone else might have recoiled. But Luo Binghe was not just anyone. There wasn’t a trace of fear in his expression, only cold amusement.

"You seem so concerned about them, Shizun…" Luo Binghe murmured, almost as if speaking to himself, as his eyes lazily drifted towards the place where Tartaglia’s siblings were. "Alright, how about a deal?" He suggested, his voice like sweet poison. "You come with me, no complaints or more fights, and I won’t touch a single hair on these people who seem so important to you. Does that sound like a good deal?"

"Tartaglia, no!" Lumine’s voice rose, breaking the tension of the moment. There was concern in her eyes, and Tartaglia could see how tightly she gripped the hilt of her sword, ready to act at any moment. He knew what she was trying to do, buying time for Zhongli, or any other ally, to arrive. But he also knew that, like him, Lumine was on the edge of her limit. He couldn’t ask her to endure more.

"Do you promise you won’t do anything?" Tartaglia’s voice was low, barely a whisper, but each word was laden with a desperation he hated to feel. He was helpless, and there was nothing he despised more than that feeling.

Luo Binghe smiled, a smile that was as sweet as it was lethal. "This disciple would never lie to Shizun" He murmured, as if the mere idea were absurd. "I only need you. The others don’t interest me in the slightest"

Tartaglia looked at him, trying to find any sign of deceit in those words, but all he saw was unshakable certainty. He had no choice, and he knew it. He couldn’t risk Luo Binghe harming his family or Lumine. He had no choice but to surrender.

"Fine" Tartaglia murmured, letting his hand drop and allowing all traces of resistance to fade. "You win…"

Picture this: The trial begins, and the Entity’s fog envelops the macabre landscape. The generators hum ominously, and the survivors scatter like startled rabbits. But not Rudbeckia. Oh no, she’s too busy mooning over Illyana, her "precious, spectacular, and drop-dead gorgeous" girlfriend (Yes, those are Rudbeckia’s actual words. She’s not one for subtlety).

Now, Shen Jiu and Penelope—bless their souls—have the unenviable task of keeping Rudbeckia from going full-on apocalyptic. You see, when Illyana is in danger, Rudbeckia transforms into a Shakespearean tragedy waiting to happen. Her battle cry? "I shall reduce this realm to ashes, slay all who dare harm Lyna, and then dramatically end my own existence!" (She’s got the flair for drama, that one).

But wait, there’s more! Enter Cale, the resident idiot friend. He’s the guy who inexplicably cheers Rudbeckia on. Why? Because he secretly enjoys watching her unravel. It’s like reality TV, but with more blood and less dignity. Cale’s motto: "When life gives you a deranged girlfriend, grab some popcorn and enjoy the chaos".

And chaos there is. Rudbeckia loses her composure whenever an actual killer—especially Michael Myers—dares to breathe within a five-mile radius of Illyana. It’s as if Rudbeckia’s sanity meter drops faster than a survivor vaulting a pallet (Spoiler alert: She usually ends up dying in hilariously stupid ways because she insists on confronting these killers. Yes, even her ex-brother Myers, who seems to harbor a grudge against Illyana. But Rudbeckia? She’s convinced Myers is just trying to woo her beautiful Lyna. Talk about sibling rivalry).

Meanwhile, Illyana remains the serene lighthouse in the storm. When Rudbeckia inevitably bites the dust (Again), they both wake up in the Entity’s cozy cabin. Illyana never contradicts her lovable lunatic of a girlfriend. Instead, she showers Rudbeckia with kisses and soothing cuddles. It’s like a post-trial spa day, except with more bloodstains and fewer cucumber slices.

"Have they lost their minds?" Cale asked, his voice laden with disbelief and his eyes exuding serious disapproval towards their companions.

"What makes them think that risking their lives in such a way is a good idea?" Shen Jiu added, standing next to the redhead, raising an eyebrow in a questioning gesture. He crossed his arms over his chest, adopting the stance of a disappointed teacher in front of a group of mischievous students. "You can't just throw yourselves into action without thinking of the consequences"

Illyana, Penelope, and Rudbeckia were left blinking, astonished at the hypocrisy of the men before them.

'But you are the first to throw yourselves into danger without thinking twice!' Penelope had to bite her tongue to not say out loud what was screaming in her mind, maintaining an expression of regret while internally struggling with the urge to shake them into reason.

'Don't you remember that just two games ago you died in the most absurd way possible, trying to give us time to escape?' Illyana nodded in apparent agreement with the reprimand they were receiving, although inside she was torn between disbelief and the desire to hit them with the bat she had found to give them a 'gentle' reminder of their own recklessness.

"Yes, you are" Luo Binghe replied with a twisted smile, unflappable in the face of the redhead's denial. "I can sense Shen Qingqiu's soul in you, therefore, you are my Shizun" He insisted, leaning slightly to be at the young man's level, who remained impassive, even when Luo Binghe's voice turned dark and threatening. "Do you really think that, just by reincarnating in another world, you could escape from me, Shizun?"

The count found himself opening and closing his mouth, unable to fully process the new information. He had to use all of his self-control to keep his legs from giving way or his hands from desperately clinging to his son's shoulders, babblingly demanding confirmation that it was a joke. However, just looking at Cale's soft and loving expression was enough for his hopes to be brutally crushed. Cale, her beloved son was really married.

It wasn't the simple fact that he got married in secret, but that he had done it with a guy about whom he had no information!

"Cale" The Countess called hesitantly, quickly hiding any trace of surprise on her face. "How long have you been married?" She asks, feeling a little out of place, because she wasn't entirely sure if she was allowed to question her stepson's life after so long without interacting with each other.

"We have been married for 2 years" He hums, tilting his head slightly as a contemplative look crossed his face. Internally patted herself on the back at the naturalness with which her response came out, since she wasn't lying at all… Well, actually he had been married to Hua Cheng for 2 centuries, but they were small details that wouldn't hurt to hide. At least for the mental health of his father, who seemed on the verge of having a breakdown.

Although he could not fully understand the language in which he spoke, it was undeniable that his expression and voice conveyed displeasure. Somehow, this stranger's actions felt all too familiar; however, he didn't manage to think about it too much when a small silence filled the room and a white box suddenly appeared in front of his face.

At this point, after seeing what was written, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at how ironic the whole thing was.

Cale: My heart and soul healed.

Rok Soo: *He gives her a blank look* You are idiot?

Choi Han: Maybe it's not effective with you *He points with an overly serious expression, positioning himself in front of the redhead* Cale, let me kiss you.

Cale: I would let you give me more than a simple kiss.

Rok Soo: Cale!

Cale: Don't worry, honey, I'll reward you later.

"Oh" She exclaims amused, narrowing her eyes slightly. "I thought this would be a boring trial, but I'm glad to know we can jump right into the action"

"Miss Eckhart" The judge warns. "You are not in a position to create a scandal, I suggest you stay out of the way while your sentence is handed down"

"Sentence?" She parrots, leaning over to give the older man an unimpressed look. "That will be a problem, I have no intention of standing here and watching your incompetence leave the real culprit without repercussions"

"Enough, guards, please take the accused away" He orders unceremoniously, giving a signal for the nearest guard to guide the young woman out of the room.

In a matter of seconds, the handcuffs that restrained her fall to the ground, causing the crowd's pleased murmurs to become a symphony of frantic and horrified screams.

In another, Penelope allows herself to smile with pleasure at the opportunity to start over.

Kanna: My girlfriend *She expresses proudly, deliberately ignoring the frightened gasps of the crowd around her* She looks beautiful, right? *She praises, watching the magenta-haired young woman with devotion as her lips quirk subtly*

Reynold: It's creating a mess *He points out, unable to hide the anxiety in his voice*

Callisto: Yes, for the past four months *He admits firmly, revealing a bold and playful smile* I appreciate that you’ve finally noticed.

Choi Han: Ah, that clears up the mystery of such extravagant gifts.

Cale: As well as Xiao’s growing hostility in your presence *He comments with a hum, crossing his arms as he takes a seat next to the dark-haired man*

Penelope: I-I thought all those details were a show of camaraderie *She articulates incredulously, bringing both hands to her face in a vain attempt to calm the tide of emotions overwhelming her* This turned out to be more complicated than I imagined… *She exhales a sigh before setting her gaze on the young blond man, who returns the gesture with joy* You’ve been playing with me all this time!