The Aethernaut's Paradox

Me, huddled in blankets listening to vaporwave playlists and computer ambience: ahhh recharge time

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

I used to be president of a company and made a devil's sacrament joke in a company-wide meeting without really thinking about it. On the one hand, the number of people who got it made me feel less like I'd stuck my foot in my mouth. On the other hand, I was the boss of everyone in that meeting and that... sure was a thing we all had to know about each other for the rest of eternity.

survival mechanism they don’t emphasize enough is memorizing a poem. you memorize a poem you have a little lift raft for a variety of situations

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

Nothing good.

“yes, I’ve been wanting to read that!” I say with complete earnestness, as I proceed to ignore every opportunity I have to read it

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different

random niche hill ill die on is that i think all languages should be called whatever they call themselves in that language. if it's español en español it should be español in english. what the hell is a spanish anyways.