Thanks, I Hate It!

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

And Ilya responds with a shrug and, "Maybe. Maybe I don't like to be alone with the knives too much."

And Ilya means it as a joke, Shane knows he does, but there's something hollow and scraped raw in Ilya's usual shit-eating grin that makes Shane's blood run cold. He immediately strides across the kitchen to pull Ilya into his arms. And Ilya tries to scoff at first, says that Shane's being so over-dramatic about a joke, but Shane just holds tighter, until Ilya's breathing goes funny against his chest in that way that tells him he's trying not to cry.

Shane doesn't trust himself to speak right now. The weight of what it would mean to lose this man is too much for him to talk about again, so instead he just holds him and hopes that this is enough to tell Ilya what he means. And when he eventually feels Ilya let go and sob against him, Shane guides both of them to the floor, pulls him into his arms, buries a hand in the back of his curls and just lets him cry until he's had enough.

When Ilya's tears finally stop, Shane presses a kiss to his forehead, trying to soothe down the crease that's etched between his eyebrows. As much as Ilya needed that release, Shane can see by the panic and embarrassment on his face that he needs a way back out of it now.

Shane rolls his eyes dramatically. "Fine, jesus, we'll get takeout then."

shane