Oops, all Janeway

Cellular Peptide Cake

Has someone done this before? And if not, why?

Can't believe that German dude 'Car Mark' or something wrote an entire book based on a Rom quote

Kim: I found a wormhole. Janeway: A wormhole? Tuvok: Statistically, it’s 75% likely to be useless. Janeway: Which means 25% not useless! Paris: If this works, can we name it after Harry? Kim: Only if we must

Kim: So uh, the wormhole is… teeny tiny. Paris: Harry's hole is small! Janeway: but it may be perfectly formed, size isn't everything! Paris: But we can't fit Voyager in it. Tuvok: But we could send a message through. Janeway: We’re officially texting the universe. Launch a probe Paris: Mission "probing Harry's Hole" is a go

Kim: The probe is stuck. Paris: Does it hurt? Janeway: Shut up, Tom. What do you mean it's stuck? Kim: Like… “never getting out” stuck. Janeway: Give it time. Kim: Captain, it just got scanned. Janeway: …By who? Kim: I don’t know, but someone’s poking our probe. Paris: Sounds exciting, Harry!

Baxter: I can't get laid so I'm going to stupidly exercise myself to death. But I'm smart - I'll kill myself through injury and not exertion. EMH: Well, that's a new low for stupidity on this ship, and the bar was already touching the earth. Baxter: Kes, can't you just treat me? Kes: No, the EMH is the Doctor. Baxter: But I prefer you. Kes: Noted, and the answer is still no.

Kes: People are rude to the Doctor. Janeway: So what? I'm rude to it too. Kes: He’s alive! Janeway: Dear sweet summer child... He’s a hologram. Kes: And? Janeway: …And you're making me feel bad.

Tuvok: It's a Romulan that's probing our probe. Janeway: Lemme talk to him Tuvok: If we must Janeway: Hi Romulan dude.. We’re in the Delta Quadrant. Romulan: No you’re not. Janeway: Yes we are. Romulan: No you're not. Janeway: Yes we are. Romulan: No you're not. Janeway: Sir, we are literally 70,000 light years away. Romulan: Fake news. Goodbye.

Kim: Captain, the Romulan in my Hole wants to talk to you. Janeway: Okay, push him through. Romulan: Sorry I called you fake news. Janeway: I've been called worse. Janeway: Mind if I share with you my crew's collective sob stories? I'm also sat here feeling lonely in a pink negligee if that imagery makes us seem more vulnerable? Romulan: I… don't know how to respond to that Janeway: I've also let down my long, flowing auburn locks just for the occasion Romulan: …That's sweetened the deal. I'm lonely on this little ship. Janeway: Can we dump our mail with you then for our families to collect? Romulan: Only if I get to read all your letters Janeway: Read everyone’s but Baxter’s... unless you want psychological damage. Romulan: You've got a deal

Torres: Captain, completely forgetting the fact that there is a canonically established way to make us all teeny tiny enough to fit in Harry's hole, I think we might be able to transport through it instead. Janeway: Sounds preferrable to squeezing through there. Let's do it!

Kes: We might be getting home soon. EMH: I can't wait to see Earth! Kes: We're leaving you here to perish EMH: Well then, everyone can just live fast and get fucked, or whatever

Torres: We’re ready to beam the Romulan aboard. Tuvok: *sigh* Janeway: Energise. Romulan: *materialises* Janeway: Welcome to the Delta Quadrant. Romulan: …Ew, a Vulcan. Tuvok: Captain… Please look at those shoulder pads so I do not have to, and ask him what year it is. Janeway: What year is it? Romulan: 2351 Tuvok: I knew it, those shoulder pads are so two decades ago

Torres: So… good news and bad news. Kim: Bad news first. Torres: If we transport through the wormhole, we arrive twenty years in the past. Kim: Great. Let’s do it. Paris: Harry, you’d be TWO. Kim: I’m willing to make sacrifices. Janeway: No. Absolutely not. Time travel chaos is not on today’s menu.

Janeway: We can’t go back. Timeline pollution. Catastrophic consequences. Probably explosions. And I have a feeling that someone called Braxton might try to murder me if I try that. (How do I know that?) Romulan: I could warn Starfleet in twenty years? Chakotay: Fuck that, I'm not going to jail. Janeway: Seconded. The only person putting handcuffs on Chakotay is me. Romulan: So… just the letters then then? Janeway: Just the letters.

Tuvok: Here are our messages. Romulan: I wish you luck. Torres: Transporting now. Torres: Transport complete. Janeway: Excellent. Everyone can relax. Their messages are safe. Tuvok: No they're not. The dude's dead. Tuvok: Absolutely typical Romulan behaviour. So unreliable. Janeway: Shit, well... fuck it. Let's keep moving.

Baxter: I hurt myself working out again. EMH: Then stop doing that. Baxter: But I need to work out. EMH: You are such a fucking ass. I'm not paid enough to deal with your bullshit. Baxter: …Sorry? EMH: That's sorry Mister Doctor Sir, thank you.

and you're like well. everybody i loved is dead. you wouldn't get it neelix : /

Followed by a screencap from Star Trek: The Original Series showing Spock raising an eyebrow, it is captioned in all caps, "Fucking Nuts Dude."

Picard keeps swears off- Yeah, checks out. He does say "Merde" in one episode, though, so maybe the translator doesn't catch french swears??

Sisko keeps swears off- ??? I'm guessing there was a diplomatic incident on day 2 involving Kira and he decided not to take that chance again.

Janeway keeps swears off- Voyager is very low on energy and has to ration their swearing reserves for emergencies.

Archer keeps swears off- Never seen enterprise, so I'm guessing here. I bet Archer doesn't want to expose his dog to that sort of language.

“ vazh - urine the waste product secreted by the kidneys that in Vulcans extremely rich in excreted minerals with a high specific gravity, and will kill plant life; is also extremely thick and viscous, resembling in colour and texture freshly-pumped crude oil”

case 1 evidence: tos, voy, ent

Bashir's work establishing a dental service on DS9 is surely one of the great unsung achievements of the post-Occupation period, and the work he does is adopted throughout Bajor during the reconstruction. It's not like you'd be able go to the dentist easily towards the end of the Occupation, nor train as a dentist either. He trains up a couple of his team so that he doesn't get overwhelmed just dealing with everyone's teeth.

But naturally there's a fair amount of resistance to having anyone poke around inside your gob, or wave a needle at you, given Cardassian practices in this regard. Poor old Kira has to step up and set an example, having first had to put up with Bashir pinning her down at every available opportunity to explain the importance of dental care. She works out her frustration by ordering every single member of the Bajoran militia stationed on DS9 to get themselves down to Bashir's House of Dental Horrors. But it works, and the civilians start to follow.

None of the Ferengi take Bashir up on the doctor's kind offer to extend the station dental service to them, and, indeed, consider it something of an insult.