But my favorite Of All time JJ fic is nothing makes me feel as good by bitterbloodyorange which I think delves into this in a realistic way.

It digs into the weird psychosexual side of the whole captain thing and how the Voyageurs would be so bonded to Shane in such a weird and complex way. Their lives DO revolve around Shane Hollander. He IS the person they think about the most from day to day. The entire Voyageurs would be locked into this constant weird cycle of admiration and respect and fear and love for Shane and I just think when the human brain crosses that many wires sex ends up in there too. I would bet every rookie on the Voyageurs has a Shane sex dream at SOME point it's like a rite of passage.

This unnamed player - let's call him Fred, just because - is devastated. He used to be so close to his brother when they were young and now he's finding out this is what's been driving a wedge between them for all these years and he can't even be angry about it because his brother was right to be careful.

Fred brings this up to the other Metros and most of them give a halfhearted "that sucks dude" but he digs his heels in and says no, this needs to change, some of you probably also have gay relatives or friends who do not trust you. "In fact," Fred says, "I looked it up and something like 1 in 10 people are gay so there's probably a gay guy or two on this team and he or they don't feel safe to come out!"

And the others immediately protest, like gay guys don't play hockey don't be stupid!! And if they did, what the fuck, why wouldn't he tell us, he's probably watching us in the showers!! And Fred goes this is why he wouldn't tell us.

(Shane's listening to all of this quietly disassociating, wishing he were anywhere else.)

Anyway there's a lot of arguing and stupid comments, but eventually most of them concede that yeah if there's a gay guy on the team, he's got good reasons not to come out and maybe we should make this a more comfortable space because that kind of stress can't be good for our hypothetically gay teammate's playing.

(Shane's playing is fine, thank you very fucking much.)

It takes a few weeks but with Fred pushing and a few more open-minded and well meaning Metros joining in, the team culture starts to slowly change. One of them tells his majoring-in-gender-studies girlfriend about the effort and she super excitedly puts together a beginner friendly power point presentation to introduce them to some queer history and lingo.

Then someone has the bright idea to do "gay activities" once a month together, like watching Brokeback Mountain and going to drag brunch and of course, eventually, inevitably, a gay bar.

Shane gets himself out of every single event because sitting around with his straight teammates doing gay shit sounds like a fucking nightmare like he just wants to play hockey and suck cock, not have to learn about whatever the hell tucking is.

His teammates notice Shane's reluctance to join and it comes to a head while they're in Boston and want to hit a gay bar after a game for their monthly mandatory gay outing because of fucking course they do. Shane refuses to join and one of the Metros goes "Well maybe our gay teammate hasn't come out yet because he knows his Captain won't support him??" So now Shane has to go or he is officially labeled a homophobe.

He lets Ilya know he can't come over to fuck because he has to go to a gay bar with his team. And Ilya, who has heard about the Metros' gay initiative and thinks it's hilarious how annoyed Shane is with the whole thing, suggests to the Raiders that they join the Metros to show that they're gay friendly too and his teammates are a little weirded out but ultimately surprisingly cool with it.

Of course Shane is pissed once Ilya shows up with his buddies looking so self-satisfied and smug and gorgeous, and this is Shane's one chance to get fucked for the next two months and instead he has to spend the evening watching Drapeau and Olsson do unicorn shots??

He gets up to leave and his teammates start protesting like "come on man, you promised you'd be cool" and "wow you're actually a homophobe, aren't you? smh we thought you were better". And Ilya and the other Raiders are watching the whole thing go down and Shane fucking snaps.

"You all talk a big game but would you actually be okay with a gay guy in the locker room?"

And his teammates are outraged like yes obviously!!

"A guy who gets fucked other guys? Could you look at him and know he's sucked cock and still respect him the same as your straight teammates?"

And maybe this question would have made the Metros uncomfortable earlier in the year but they are enlightened now and offended that Shane would even ask! Honestly, you're looking more and more homophobic dude (Hayden is on the verge of tears).

"Okay, what if he was hooking up with a player on another team? 'Cause that would never be an issue with a straight player."

And the Metros would have to take a moment to think because yeah, that's a possibility they hadn't considered. But! one of them points out, guys play against their brothers and friends all the time, and no one has an issue with that. If a gay player had to play against his lover (Shane's eye twitches dangerously), he wouldn't let that affect his game any more than straight players do playing against their loved ones.

In fact, there's something kinda romantic about it now that they think about it. Like Romeo and Juliet with hockey!

Now Shane glances at Ilya, who no longer looks amused.

"So you guys really are fine with all of that?"

The Metros agree enthusiastically, fired up and proud at what good allies they're being.

"Okay. Well. I'm gay, and I've been hooking up with a player on another team since rookie year."

The group falls silent. Shane stares them down, silently freaking out, because did he just annoyed into coming out??

"Who?" one of the Metros finally asks. Another elbows him.

"Dude, you can't ask that."

"But you don't like any gay stuff!" another Metro protests.

"I like sucking cock," Shane deadpans. "Is that gay enough for you?"

And fair enough, the Metros have to admit, that is pretty gay.

No one stops Shane when he tries to leave this time, though Hayden does chase him outside to tell him how proud he is of him, and Shane just gives a flat okay and jumps into the nearest taxi.

Analyzing the data gives them zero hints about what team he's on which on the one hand, good, that means it doesn't affect Shane's game, but it also bad, because it makes it so much more difficult for them to speculate.

They make a list of suspects and sure, speculating on a stranger's sexuality isn't very good allyship, but also have you considered that they're curious?? Besides, this info will never leave the locker room.

The info immediately leaves the locker room.

As funny as it is that rocky sees grace and complains about grace and humans in general as a terribly inefficient blob of water and fluids and teases constantly...

I REALLY think this should be a relatively rocky-exclusive perspective. He's watched this incredibly stressed human drip all kinds of tears and goos while they were floating around in space, and grace let down basically all of his guard around rocky personally, have discussed and understood eachother over life threatening missions. To Rocky, grace is Grace!

But grace does have some naturally combative push to him (see, the commentary that got him stonewalled in the scientific community in the first place, and being able to keep up with and handle Eva stratt) and further more, when an eridian is Not Rocky, i.e. not incredibly socially withdrawn and traumatized and maybe on their own spectrum of divergence before his ill fated mission and was very susceptible to latching onto a strange and unusual creature in just as much crisis as him...

That is to say. The eridians are going to meet grace with wildly different priorities and expectations. And what they're going to get is a human dangerously close to deaths door, and cornered and dying humans aren't always the most friendly or cooperative and friendly, even the Nicest Humans You Can Get.

So they get a dying human. And as tumblr loves to say, humans are terrifying to aliens, and fuck do they persist. Rocky's so-described "pathetic space blob" grace is terrifying to most eridians, especially the scientists studying him.

We send three people to space and two of them die and one of them’s alive. He has amnesia. He meets an alien rock spider and saves the earth and that’s all weird but mostly in the realm of possibility.

Except there’s someone in the background. It can’t be human. There’s no way that a human could find themselves that deep in space without people knowing so it’s either resembling a human by some strange coincidence or it looks like a human on purpose.

This not-human thing never shows its face. Everyone and then you see something that looks just off and people claim they see folks or tree bark but it’s too far away and the camera is too bad to tell.

When I was expecting with you, I thought you'd save me. I thought you'd love me, and then my mother would love me. Even from the beginning, you disobeyed. Wouldn't eat, like you were punishing me for being born. You made me feel like a fool, like a child. And now you come back here and all I can think is… (What? What, Mama?) You smell ripe.

and when shane finally does get a girlfriend when they're like eighteen, ilya seduces and fucks her. he thinks about shane the entire time and is absolutely furious with himself about it. he casually tells shane about it like a week later because as angry as he is at himself for doing something so terrible, he's equally angry at shane for making him feel this way and it makes him want to be cruel.

the media adores pictures of baby-faced Rookie Shane awkwardly holding an actual baby / his mini me when greeting his family after games

Chase adores Shane and seems to love hockey early on but really he's just feeding off the atmosphere, he has no clue what's going on

By the time Yuna and David strap him into skates, Chase is quickly discovering he has no actual interest in understanding what's happening on ice or taking part in it

Shane struggles even more so to relate to his supposed brother but also somewhat relieved that he doesn't have to worry about this kid coming up behind him in 15 years to be a better, more perfect hockey player and son, which is a feeling that Shane is very uncomfortable sitting with for long

by age 9, Chase is well and truly over hockey, resenting how much it seems to occupy Yuna and esp Shane

there are failed attempts at brother bonding sleepovers in Montreal when Shane isn't traveling but Chase never lasts the weekend without calling David

Chase likes basketball, it's what his friends play, it's more accessible, he and his friends can pick up and play just about anywhere, anytime

but he doesn't want to play it like Shane plays hockey and chafes at Yuna's attempts to foster his interests in it along those lines bc that's how Yuna shows her love

Chase just wants to goof off w his friends and have fun

He also likes Roblox and Minecraft, Steven Universe and Teen Titans Go, bike riding and his pet guinea pig

he likes so many things and feels like his brother isn't aware of or cares about any of them bc they aren't hockey (even tho Chase thinks his guinea pig and his brother have a lot in common)

Chase is boisterous and loud; he thumbs his nose at the media that cooed at his pudge ball self in Shane's arms, making a spectacle of his boredom and dissatisfaction at Montreal home games

2 key splits in the timestream, however:

Shane doesn't officially date Rose because shortly post-Tuna meltdown, Shane comes to terms with being gay more so on his own, having suffered a crisis over Chase being the more perfect "do-over" kid when Chase demonstrates a sincere crush on a girl in his class and come out the other side resigned to the fact that Shane can fulfill the star hockey athlete expectations as his parents' son while Chase (mind you, an 8 year old at this point) can eventually fulfill the heteronormative bring-home-a-nice-girl-and-give-their-parents-grandkids expectations. Rose still clocks Shane bc for all they hang out and the media is speculating, he is obviously not making a move, and Rose let's him know that's okay, offers to hook em up with Miles, etc. etc. Shane and Ilya are already in relationship limbo pre All Stars but All Stars is where Shane tries to hit the brakes on merely falling back into old patterns.

Love the soft, curious moments of them sharing about their own cultures, biology, etc. I do think Rocky would have a field day when Grace explains skin as a very sensitive and permeable organ with lots of stuff packed tight on the surface. Since goosebumps are very tactile, I thought Rocky would enjoy hearing those.

Also, bonus.

the issue I was running into with researching this a few weeks ago is that almost all of the scholarly writing on the content of people's forced-sex fantasies focuses solely on women's fantasies and starts with the research question of "why would women enjoy imagining such a horrible misogynistic thing?" despite surveys often showing that men have force-fantasies (where they are the one being forced) at very comparable rates to women. my hypothesis for a bit was "either men's fantasies are exactly the same as women's or they're completely different in [x] way," which was disproven interestingly when I did finally find something about men's force-fantasies: in content they are almost exactly the same as women's fantasies but the emotional motivations are often different in [y] way, which I hadn't expected. and [y] also super applies to my buddy ryland, perhaps even more than my original [x] hypothesis.