Mostly Void, Partially Stars

SORRY IT ISNT THEFT IF THEY GAVE IT TO HIM!!!

i’d like to argue: only a couple of them that have been caught

Because he bought it at the same time that Barry bought his, we know that Garfield has owned a body-cloning pod for approximately ten years as of Story and Song. There is no fucking way that our favorite unknowable lasagna cat merchant just quietly held onto that device for a decade before he convinced any customers to barter with their blood; therefore, we can reasonably assume that Garfield has committed numerous necromancy crimes. Yet he still appears in several liveshows, implying that either he has been pardoned for these crimes,  or more likely, Faerun’s three incredibly powerful reapers have been unable to best him in a test of mercantile wits and bring him to justice. In this essay I will -

Garfield is responsible for the town of Tom Bodettes

now THIS is a theory I can get behind

tumblr comedy I haven’t seen in a while and I kind of miss: when someone says like ‘smoothies are great’ and then someone else says ‘juices are great too!’ and the first person says ‘make your own post’ and then the second person says ‘okay’ and then you scroll down and theres a second post.

I also love seeing posts where someone says something that clearly sets up a joke and then has very obviously messaged their friend to question it in a reblog so they deliver the punchline with maximum impact. Haven't seen that in a while

make your own post

I love seeing posts where someone says something that clearly sets up a joke and then has very obviously messaged their friend to question it in a reblog so they deliver the punchline with maximum impact. Haven't seen that in a while

me playing any video game: *does not touch the block button at all throughout the game*

#no block button we lose like men

#dodge or die #there is no block

what the fuck is this dodge nonsense? You hit them harder and faster than they hit you and That Is How You Play Video Game

Don’t talk to me about buffing or debuffing stats either. The only stat that matters is the enemy’s HP, and I am going to debuff it all the way to zero.

Next some loser is gonna tell me to use the brake button in a racing game. No I hold accelerate the whole time and either drift or die

i get a strike at the bowling alley and the screen shows the exact time and place that i die

love opening tumblr and just saying things. if you don’t understand my posts that’s ok because i don’t either

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

Hey quick question what the fuck

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

fae court

The council to decide your fate

New hot trend from 1919: Loudly ogling anti-maskers and their bare faces like “Wow where did you find such an ugly face mask???”

#i hope that lady knew she was the funniest person in australia in 1919  (via @amazonqueendianaprince)

[ID: A header reads, “What an Ugly Mask.” The following text reads, “A Sydney lady wearing an influenza mask bore down on a gentleman friend who was without one and thus accosted him: ‘Oh! why don’t you wear a nicer mask?’ Then she added quickly, ‘I beg your pardon - it’s my mistake.’” End ID.]

If y’all don’t know how to treat mundane life experiences with awe and wonder at the world then maybe it’s *you* that’s probably boring that’s all I’m sayin

Clearly they’ve never been to an inner city 7-11 at midnight. It’s hazardous.