no one's doing somnophillia anymore
because of woke
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@oopsglitch
no one's doing somnophillia anymore
because of woke

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Seasmoke Manual for Addam, Aegon Manual for baby Sunfyre.
Love the ongoing joke about how it was easier to teach Sunfyre English than to make Aegon learn high Valyrian.
Shout out to this person's meat craving bunny.
happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought
In honor of the the return of the absolutely illogical mess that is HotD, here are some quick reminders as to why the Dance was doomed to happen:
Yes, Viserys was an idiot to remarry. No, it didn’t matter if he had married Laena—Corlys’ greed made Otto look like a saint. Unlike the book, Rhaenyra was old enough to be married off and have children of her own; remarrying with enough children to populate a new house was Viserys’ own greed and pride. Blame Viserys for Rhaenyra’s inevitable downfall
Yes, naming Aegon heir would’ve solved a lot of issues. Namely, the fact that literally no one would have contested that claim. Not even Rhaenyra, who spent her entire life up Aemma’s death as conveniently not-the-heir.
No, naming Rhaenyra queen and abdicating while he was alive would not have stopped the Dance, merely pushed it down a generation. Y’all seem to keep forgetting that Jace and Co are very obvious bastards; if not Aegon v Rhaenyra, it would be Aegon v Jace or Jace v Aegon the Younger v Jaehaerys
No, Jace’s reign was not secured or safe. Again —> very obviously a bastard, surrounded by what’s going to be dozens of white-haired sons and daughters. Ntm, I doubt the many lords would let him rest easy for it. A very harmful precedent there
No, Jace and Helaena would not have been enough. The claim to contest are Aegon and his brothers’, which still exist even if Helaena married Jace. Aegon and Baela would’ve been the better option, but that would only work if Baela were to inherit Driftmark—and we all know Rhaenyra would never allow it.
No, it really doesn’t matter that Aegon was a mediocre-to-bad king. Viserys was a shit king, Rhaenyra was a shit queen, Daemon would’ve been terrible—they all sucked. The Council matters way more than the king does, and the Black Council as it stands are all fucking morons. Jace has the most sense there and he’s 16; that’s how bad it is
Rhaenyra’s not exactly the pinnacle of genius. Girlie’s also stupid as fuck, because for someone who does want to rule and knows that her rule is constantly contested on, she decides to run away and do nothing for close to seven years. Might as well hangup the claim and the crown, for all the effort she placed into securing it. Which was basically none. Maybe start by not having such obvious bastards, or marrying the man you were named heir to keep away from the crown and producing even more bastards.
No, Aegon being Aemond’s main childhood bully does not and will never negate his ill-feelings towards the Strong Boys. Aemond in s2 could bully and humiliate Aegon back publicly, even after he got Jaehaerys killed. Hell, he threw Aegon under the bus at Driiftmark too. Meanwhile, dumbfuck in a bowlcut 1 and 2 were smirking over memories of bullying the kid they maimed for life and never once apologized to. Pretty sure the former is typical Daemon-like greed and ambitions, and the other was from valid hurt. It is Aemond’s nature to spend his life thinking he’ll be better than his brother (like Daemon). Unfortunately for both, they also suck and would’ve been terrible kings too. Not that they’ll ever realize it.
Rhaenyra and Laenor should have just used the turkey baster method, or at the very least chose someone who would give them heirs that look like them. They literally show that there are a ton of Targaryen bastards out there with blonde hair, they could have found one that looked like Laenor, or was at the very least black, and shaved his head and employed him in the household.

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This is why Corlys wasn’t at that small council meeting.
You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags
do u like mine
Oh wow.
Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know
what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this
Whereas the reality is far more like
Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko
One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

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this is an extremely good joke format
I wish I knew how to play chess
I needed this.
I understand chess and oh my god can this be a meme format? Cause there are so many possible combinations here
I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!
First, there's Geralt, who is utterly convinced that Jaskier is only human. And humans are fragile. They bruise, they bleed, they break far too easily.
So Geralt is fiercely protective. He hovers, worries, and throws himself between Jaskier and anything that even vaguely resembles danger. The very thought of Jaskier getting hurt is enough to make Geralt's stomach twist.
Then there are the other witchers.
Unlike Geralt, they've already pieced together that Jaskier is most definitely not human. In fact, whatever species he belongs to will probably outlive death itself.
Which means they're perfectly content to stand back and let Jaskier indulge in his most feral instincts.
After all, if an ancient, immortal creature wants to climb onto the roof, steal questionable objects, antagonize monsters three times his size, or hiss at strangers for reasons known only to himself... who are they to interfere?
It's natural.
The way the gods intended.
when i was a young woman on tumvlr ten years ago everybody liked american football, tigers jaw, ajj, and teen suicide. and we all had a little tin plate with a candle on it, and we needed to be careful not to let the candle go out because we needed it to read the posts. one time a mutual told me they were scared of their candle going out while their phone was charging at night. the dashboard didn't have the overhead fluorescent lights yet. and we had fan mail, and we liked that comic where the girl is a possum. and the stock market crash hadn't happened yet. i made a lot of money selling my tunblr stocks and i bought a boat. i would take the boat out to sea and lie down on the deck and go on tumbr and answer fan mail, but i had to use the candle to read the fan mail, because we didn't have lights yet. it was very dark back then, and one time i fell into the gap between two posts and twisted my ankle. and some people liked elvis depressedly, also, but i can't say that i was one of them.
🥚
crack egg directly into hot pan, scramble while cooking
crack egg directly into cold pan, stir/scramble, then cook
crack egg into bowl, whisk or stir, THEN pour into pan and cook
other
results
Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans
Now that’s what I call
@rpepperpotshipssciencebros please forgive me for this one
I hate this site so much.

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huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while
something earth shattering going on here
this is why one of my favorite all-time paintings is Ship in Stormy Seas by Ivan Aivazovsky... he was really onto something there
a close up to just... light shining through those waves, makes me feel faint with exhilaration every time
THERE IS A BOAT BY IVAN AIVAZOVSKY!!
Ivan Aivazovsky could paint glowing water. One of the GOATs for sure.
Might be brainstorming that "Zuko accidentally kills Ozai during the Day of the Black Sun and is now Fire Lord" idea
I think the funniest part is like.
Obvs he's made up his mind on the war itself and that the Avatar's side is right. So all those Water Tribe warriors that were just captured? They're free to go. Actually can their leader stay for a minute to like. Have Fire Lord Zuko give an apology for Fucking Everything™ and explain that if he's in charge now he's surrendering the war?
So you have Hakoda looking at this child (what do you mean he's sixteen?!) and a second even younger child (Azula's only 14?!?!) who just lost a father but are having nuts reactions to it because apparently their father Fucking Sucked™ and had already disfigured the one years ago(when the boy was 13?!?!?!?!) and now forced him to kill in self-defense and threatened to do so to the younger one to force her to commit atrocities in his name?
Hakoda is like "Well guess I have two more kids now because what the FUCK"