Frobin FTW

Returns

Pomni: I don't think you understand. The circus isn't yours to conquer.

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Pomni: (Sees butterfly flutter from Kinger) Look at what they need to imitate just a fraction of our power!

Pomni: You're right to pity them, Caine, but wrong to value them over your kind.

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Pomni: I think... I think I miss my wife.

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Pomni: You left the Moon paused in stasis? While you were dealing with a crisis?

Caine: Er... Yes?

Pomni: ...Good! Well, I mean, good for you, not so much for her. That's the tricky part of the job, balancing what you wanna do, with what you need to do.

Caine: Mhm. Mhm.

Pomni: You're not just a member of the circus, Caine. You're an admin. You have... responsibilities... that the others don't.

Caine: Uh, can I, uh-

Pomni: Oh, and Caine; one last bit of administrator advice? You've got a bit of... (Points) here.

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Caine: I... I don't understand this! You love the circus! And what about Ragatha? You love her, don't you?

Pomni: I do love this place, but it isn't our circus- It's theirs. And as for Ragatha, she's more like... Like a pet.

Caine: A pet?!

Pomni: This is the only way, Caine-

Caine: Don't- Don't touch me!

Pomni: Caine, calme down-

Caine: No, I will not calm down! Wha- What did you think was going to happen?! That I would just delete our friends, reload them into a new file and just play the game all over again?! This is our life! My life!

Pomni: We have a responsibility to the algorithm-

Caine: I don't care about any algorithm! And I don't care if I'm still the same after every reset, gosh darnit! This is my home and I won't let you destroy it!

Pomni: You don't understand. I can't let you interfere.

Caine: I know exactly what I'm saying.

Pomni: ...SO BE IT.

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Pomni: ...WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS, CAINE?!

Pomni: You're fighting so you can watch everyone around you abstract!

Pomni: THINK, CAINE! You'll outlast every fragile, insignificant being on this circus. You'll live to see this digital world crumble to into corrupted data! Everyone and everything you know will be gone!

Pomni: WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER FIVE ABSTRACTIONS?!

Caine: (Reduced to red bubble) Y-You, Pomni... I'd still have you...

Pomni: ...

Caine: ...Pomni...?

Ragatha: ...

Pomni: Do you want me to go...?

Ragatha: ...

Pomni: ... (sigh) okay. I did the unspeakable to you and Caine and the others. And then I did the same to the NPCs in the Void. No amount of words can make up for what I did. But...

Ragatha: ...

Pomni: When Caine first gave me administrative access, I was terrified. Because I knew everything would change. My life with you would change. And I didn't want that to happen. But I thought I had a chance to escape this Circus and get back to my life in the real world. It should have been easy. But I'm not... human anymore. I'm like a god in this world. I have the potential to exist for thousands of years. But three years with you... three years with you... made me feel human again. I know forgiveness is earned and not asked for. That's why I'm not asking. But I am so sorry, Raggy... I'm sorry for the pain.The pain, the tears, the anger, the sorrow I put you through... I'm sorry for what I did to Caine. To the others. And I will spend the rest of my existence trying to repair the damage I did to you...

Ragatha: ... "repair the damage?" You still think you can do everything, don't you? Fix all your problems with your admin privileges? This can't be fixed, Pomni! You made people abstract! You ended our friends' lives! You spread misery to the people who loved you most! Do you know what it's like to not be able to fall asleep at night because every time you close your eyes, you see you?! I know! Because I've lived it! And now, you show up with some bu[BOINK]it apology?! What do you want, Pomni?!

Pomni: I-I... I want to say I'm sorry.

Ragatha: You said that. You're still here.

Pomni: ... I had to see you again.

Ragatha: [BOINK] you. Two months into the Void, you brought back Gummigoo.

Pomni: Gummigoo was a mistake. I didn't know what I was doing. I love you. Not him.

Ragatha: (scoffs) Is that supposed to make me feel better? Telling me that you didn't love Gummigoo? It doesn't. It just makes me hate you more.

Pomni: ... I miss you!

Ragatha: You miss me?! You miss me?! Well, you know what?! I. Missed. You! (punches Pomni) But you killed the woman I loved! You! Killed! Her! (punches Pomni so hard the seems in her hand breaks and stuffing starts to fall out) AH!

Pomni: Ragatha!

Ragatha: (wails) I loved you! We had everything!

Pomni: Ragatha, stop... let me see it-

Ragatha: (moves away)

Pomni: P-please, let me...

Ragatha: ... am I still your pet?

Pomni: You never were.

(fork found in kitchen)

Nora: (Opens emergency pancake box, Reads note) "Dear Nora, I owe you one emergency ration of pancakes. Love, Nora".

???: (appears in a puff of brimstone) Hehehe... well, that can be arranged~

Nora: (turns around to see...) PYRRHA?! You’re the Devil?!

Nora: DO YOU HAVE PANCAKES OR NOT?!

Pyrrha: One plate of pancakes coming right up~! Oh, but first, I need you to sign here. Be careful; it's a hot pen~!

Nora: (Takes self-igniting pen, Signs)

Pyrrha: (Snaps fingers)

Roman: (Appears w/ silver dish, Lifts cover)

Nora: (Licks lips, Starts eating)

Pyrrha: Now, remember; once you finish that plate, I get your soul for all of eternity~!

Nora: (Gnashing loudly) Wait! (Gulps) So, if I don't eat this last bite, you don't get my soul, right?

Pyrrha: Well... TECHNICALLY, no, but-

Nora: (Holding last piece) I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL~! I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL-

Pyrrha: (Grows three times normal size, Blazing red eyes and pale bone white skin) YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, NORA VALKYRIE~!

Nora: (Watches disappear in black smoke, Smirks as she pockets pancake) Not likely~.

--------------------------------------------------

Earlier (because it's also funny)

Nora: HEY! Where are the pancakes?!

Ruby: Sorry, Nora, but I guess you woke up a little too late this morning.

Yang: I mean, there were some left, but we chucked them at Jaune for fun.

Jaune: (Swatting at pecking Nevermores) Damn buzzard! I ain't dead yet!

Nora: (wakes up hungry and goes to the fridge, sees the last bite of pancake) Mmmm, forbidden pancake... (eats it)

Pyrrha: Hee-hee-hee-hee~! Having a little snack~?

Nora: (gulps) Pyrrha!

Pyrrha: Now, Nora Valkyrie! Your eternal soul is MINE! (opens portal to Hell that starts sucking Nora in)

Ren: Nora?! Did you eat that last piece of pancake?!

Nora: No? (gets sucked into the portal, but gets stuck halfway)

Pyrrha: Ooooh, no! Your thunder thighs won't save you this time! (looks over her shoulder) Hey, Ruby.

Pyrrha: D'oh~! You huntsmen and your "due process" and "fair trials"! This is always so much easier in Vacuo. Very well; we'll have a trial for the soul of Nora Valkyrie at the stroke of midnight; and until then you're going to SPEND THE DAY IN HELL!

Pyrrha: (Magics plunger into hand, Plunges)

Nora: (Pops down to Hell) WAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Even earlier because might as well go all the way back, right?

Nora: (Dreaming of pancake fashion show)

Announcer: And here we have Valean Crêpe laced with chocolate and stuffed with blueberries.

Nora: (strapped to a chair with a clam on her mouth)

Demon: So, you like pancakes, huh?

Nora: Uh-huh.

Demon: Well, then... have all the pancakes in the world! MUAHAHAHAHA!

(A conveyor belt starts up that force-feeds Nora pancake after pancake)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Two hours later...

(Almost all of the pancakes are gone and Nora is considerable fatter, but not tired)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! More! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Nora: (Pops out of Hell)

Jaune: Nora! Are you okay?!

Nora: No...

Kali: (Arriving) Team JNPR, you have nothing to worry about~! I was watching Law and Order last night in a bar. Of course, the volume was off, but I think I got the gist of it~.

Blacksmith: HEAR YE. HEAR YE. The Court of lnfernal Affairs is now in session.

Kali: Very well. But first, some ground rules. Number one: We get bathroom breaks every half hour.

Pyrrha: Agreed. Number two: The jury will be chosen by me.

Kali: Agreed. ...No, wait!

Pyrrha: Silence! I give you the jury of the damned!

Pyrrha: I have here a legal contract! Nora Valkyrie promised me her soul in exchange for a stack of pancakes! Which I delivered! And it was quite scrumptious if I do say so myself~!

Jury: (murmuring to each other)

Nora: (nervously glances at Kali)

Kali: (gives a "don't worry" gesture) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what is a contract? Webster's Dictionary defines a contract as an agreement between two consenting parties to ensure a legally binding obligation. Do you understand? A legally binding obligation.

Jury: ...

Kali: ... I'd like to call a brief recess.

Blacksmith: Granted.

Blacksmith: Nora Valkyrie, due to the lack of evidence to your defense, I have no choice... but to sentence you to an eternity of--

Jaune: Wait! Before you send her to Hell, there's something you should see. This is a photo of Nora and Ren at their wedding.

Watts: ...You got married in an emergency room?

Ren: Nora ate the entire wedding cake by herself... before the wedding. (All laugh)

Jaune: Read the back! The back!

Jacques: Hm... It's some kind of treasure map...

Sienna: You idiot; you can't read!

Jacques: ...Yes, it's true. My violent racism was my way of compensating.

Sienna: (Reads) "Dear Ren, you have given me your hand in marriage. All I can give you in return is my soul... which I pledge to you for all of eternity." (Murmurs)

Neopolitan: (Via scroll) We have heard enough. We the jury find the soul of Nora Valkyrie to be the rightful property of Lie Ren and not The Devil.

Pyrrha: Grrrr! Alright, Nora! You can have your soul back! But from this day forth, may that ill-gotten stack of pancakes forever be ON YOUR HEAD! (zaps Nora with magic)

Nora: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

The Next Day...

Nora: (head made of pancakes, picks chunk off to eat it)

Ren: Nora! Quit picking at it!

Nora: (Opens emergency pancake box, Reads note) "Dear Nora, I owe you one emergency ration of pancakes. Love, Nora".

???: (appears in a puff of brimstone) Hehehe... well, that can be arranged~

Nora: (turns around to see...) PYRRHA?! You’re the Devil?!

Nora: DO YOU HAVE PANCAKES OR NOT?!

Pyrrha: One plate of pancakes coming right up~! Oh, but first, I need you to sign here. Be careful; it's a hot pen~!

Nora: (Takes self-igniting pen, Signs)

Pyrrha: (Snaps fingers)

Roman: (Appears w/ silver dish, Lifts cover)

Nora: (Licks lips, Starts eating)

Pyrrha: Now, remember; once you finish that plate, I get your soul for all of eternity~!

Nora: (Gnashing loudly) Wait! (Gulps) So, if I don't eat this last bite, you don't get my soul, right?

Pyrrha: Well... TECHNICALLY, no, but-

Nora: (Holding last piece) I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL~! I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL-

Pyrrha: (Grows three times normal size, Blazing red eyes and pale bone white skin) YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, NORA VALKYRIE~!

Nora: (Watches disappear in black smoke, Smirks as she pockets pancake) Not likely~.

--------------------------------------------------

Earlier (because it's also funny)

Nora: HEY! Where are the pancakes?!

Ruby: Sorry, Nora, but I guess you woke up a little too late this morning.

Yang: I mean, there were some left, but we chucked them at Jaune for fun.

Jaune: (Swatting at pecking Nevermores) Damn buzzard! I ain't dead yet!

Nora: (wakes up hungry and goes to the fridge, sees the last bite of pancake) Mmmm, forbidden pancake... (eats it)

Pyrrha: Hee-hee-hee-hee~! Having a little snack~?

Nora: (gulps) Pyrrha!

Pyrrha: Now, Nora Valkyrie! Your eternal soul is MINE! (opens portal to Hell that starts sucking Nora in)

Ren: Nora?! Did you eat that last piece of pancake?!

Nora: No? (gets sucked into the portal, but gets stuck halfway)

Pyrrha: Ooooh, no! Your thunder thighs won't save you this time! (looks over her shoulder) Hey, Ruby.

Pyrrha: D'oh~! You huntsmen and your "due process" and "fair trials"! This is always so much easier in Vacuo. Very well; we'll have a trial for the soul of Nora Valkyrie at the stroke of midnight; and until then you're going to SPEND THE DAY IN HELL!

Pyrrha: (Magics plunger into hand, Plunges)

Nora: (Pops down to Hell) WAAAAAAAAAAAA

--------------------------------------------------

Even earlier because might as well go all the way back, right?

Nora: (Dreaming of pancake fashion show)

Announcer: And here we have Valean Crêpe laced with chocolate and stuffed with blueberries.

Nora: (strapped to a chair with a clam on her mouth)

Demon: So, you like pancakes, huh?

Nora: Uh-huh.

Demon: Well, then... have all the pancakes in the world! MUAHAHAHAHA!

(A conveyor belt starts up that force-feeds Nora pancake after pancake)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Two hours later...

(Almost all of the pancakes are gone and Nora is considerable fatter, but not tired)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! More! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Nora: (Pops out of Hell)

Jaune: Nora! Are you okay?!

Nora: No...

Kali: (Arriving) Team JNPR, you have nothing to worry about~! I was watching Law and Order last night in a bar. Of course, the volume was off, but I think I got the gist of it~.

Blacksmith: HEAR YE. HEAR YE. The Court of lnfernal Affairs is now in session.

Kali: Very well. But first, some ground rules. Number one: We get bathroom breaks every half hour.

Pyrrha: Agreed. Number two: The jury will be chosen by me.

Kali: Agreed. ...No, wait!

Pyrrha: Silence! I give you the jury of the damned!

Pyrrha: I have here a legal contract! Nora Valkyrie promised me her soul in exchange for a stack of pancakes! Which I delivered! And it was quite scrumptious if I do say so myself~!

Jury: (murmuring to each other)

Nora: (nervously glances at Kali)

Kali: (gives a "don't worry" gesture) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what is a contract? Webster's Dictionary defines a contract as an agreement between two consenting parties to ensure a legally binding obligation. Do you understand? A legally binding obligation.

Jury: ...

Kali: ... I'd like to call a brief recess.

Blacksmith: Granted.

Nora: (Opens emergency pancake box, Reads note) "Dear Nora, I owe you one emergency ration of pancakes. Love, Nora".

???: (appears in a puff of brimstone) Hehehe... well, that can be arranged~

Nora: (turns around to see...) PYRRHA?! You’re the Devil?!

Nora: DO YOU HAVE PANCAKES OR NOT?!

Pyrrha: One plate of pancakes coming right up~! Oh, but first, I need you to sign here. Be careful; it's a hot pen~!

Nora: (Takes self-igniting pen, Signs)

Pyrrha: (Snaps fingers)

Roman: (Appears w/ silver dish, Lifts cover)

Nora: (Licks lips, Starts eating)

Pyrrha: Now, remember; once you finish that plate, I get your soul for all of eternity~!

Nora: (Gnashing loudly) Wait! (Gulps) So, if I don't eat this last bite, you don't get my soul, right?

Pyrrha: Well... TECHNICALLY, no, but-

Nora: (Holding last piece) I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL~! I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL-

Pyrrha: (Grows three times normal size, Blazing red eyes and pale bone white skin) YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, NORA VALKYRIE~!

Nora: (Watches disappear in black smoke, Smirks as she pockets pancake) Not likely~.

--------------------------------------------------

Earlier (because it's also funny)

Nora: HEY! Where are the pancakes?!

Ruby: Sorry, Nora, but I guess you woke up a little too late this morning.

Yang: I mean, there were some left, but we chucked them at Jaune for fun.

Jaune: (Swatting at pecking Nevermores) Damn buzzard! I ain't dead yet!

Nora: (wakes up hungry and goes to the fridge, sees the last bite of pancake) Mmmm, forbidden pancake... (eats it)

Pyrrha: Hee-hee-hee-hee~! Having a little snack~?

Nora: (gulps) Pyrrha!

Pyrrha: Now, Nora Valkyrie! Your eternal soul is MINE! (opens portal to Hell that starts sucking Nora in)

Ren: Nora?! Did you eat that last piece of pancake?!

Nora: No? (gets sucked into the portal, but gets stuck halfway)

Pyrrha: Ooooh, no! Your thunder thighs won't save you this time! (looks over her shoulder) Hey, Ruby.

Pyrrha: D'oh~! You huntsmen and your "due process" and "fair trials"! This is always so much easier in Vacuo. Very well; we'll have a trial for the soul of Nora Valkyrie at the stroke of midnight; and until then you're going to SPEND THE DAY IN HELL!

Pyrrha: (Magics plunger into hand, Plunges)

Nora: (Pops down to Hell) WAAAAAAAAAAAA

--------------------------------------------------

Even earlier because might as well go all the way back, right?

Nora: (Dreaming of pancake fashion show)

Announcer: And here we have Valean Crêpe laced with chocolate and stuffed with blueberries.

Nora: (strapped to a chair with a clam on her mouth)

Demon: So, you like pancakes, huh?

Nora: Uh-huh.

Demon: Well, then... have all the pancakes in the world! MUAHAHAHAHA!

(A conveyor belt starts up that force-feeds Nora pancake after pancake)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Two hours later...

(Almost all of the pancakes are gone and Nora is considerable fatter, but not tired)

Nora: Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! More! Nom! Nom! Nom!

Nora: (Opens emergency pancake box, Reads note) "Dear Nora, I owe you one emergency ration of pancakes. Love, Nora".

???: (appears in a puff of brimstone) Hehehe... well, that can be arranged~

Nora: (turns around to see...) PYRRHA?! You’re the Devil?!

Nora: DO YOU HAVE PANCAKES OR NOT?!

Pyrrha: One plate of pancakes coming right up~! Oh, but first, I need you to sign here. Be careful; it's a hot pen~!

Nora: (Takes self-igniting pen, Signs)

Pyrrha: (Snaps fingers)

Roman: (Appears w/ silver dish, Lifts cover)

Nora: (Licks lips, Starts eating)

Pyrrha: Now, remember; once you finish that plate, I get your soul for all of eternity~!

Nora: (Gnashing loudly) Wait! (Gulps) So, if I don't eat this last bite, you don't get my soul, right?

Pyrrha: Well... TECHNICALLY, no, but-

Nora: (Holding last piece) I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL~! I'M SMARTER THAN THE DEVIL-

Pyrrha: (Grows three times normal size, Blazing red eyes and pale bone white skin) YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, NORA VALKYRIE~!

Nora: (Watches disappear in black smoke, Smirks as she pockets pancake) Not likely~.

--------------------------------------------------

Earlier (because it's also funny)

Nora: HEY! Where are the pancakes?!

Ruby: Sorry, Nora, but I guess you woke up a little too late this morning.

Yang: I mean, there were some left, but we chucked them at Jaune for fun.

Jaune: (Swatting at pecking Nevermores) Damn buzzard! I ain't dead yet!

Nora: (wakes up hungry and goes to the fridge, sees the last bite of pancake) Mmmm, forbidden pancake... (eats it)

Pyrrha: Hee-hee-hee-hee~! Having a little snack~?

Nora: (gulps) Pyrrha!

Pyrrha: Now, Nora Valkyrie! Your eternal soul is MINE! (opens portal to Hell that starts sucking Nora in)

Ren: Nora?! Did you eat that last piece of pancake?!

Nora: No? (gets sucked into the portal, but gets stuck halfway)

Pyrrha: Ooooh, no! Your thunder thighs won't save you this time! (looks over her shoulder) Hey, Ruby.

Nora: (Opens emergency pancake box, Reads note) "Dear Nora, I owe you one emergency ration of pancakes. Love, Nora".

???: (appears in a puff of brimstone) Hehehe... well, that can be arranged~

Nora: (turns around to see...) PYRRHA?! You’re the Devil?!