DarkWitchyFangirl

I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand. 

In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.

Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.

In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.

That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.

I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.

Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.

The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.

it's how eddie plays with oy. he's taking to his role of Annoying Older Brother perfectly (after all, he learnt from the best).

Guess what’s up in my shop! You can head overnight now to preorder your Fully Vaccinate GO buttons! They are 58mm across AND holo!

And don’t worry! (I would never try to make a profit off of such a tragedy) Proceeds will go toward covid relief in India 💕

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

Here’s an emergency compliment

Here you can play 2048

Here’s a playlist of Bob ross

Here’s a website to watch movie’s and shows for free

Here’s a website to watch documentaries for free

Here you can to nothing for two minutes

Here you can break something. It’s good for anger

Here’s a button to press to make everything okay

Here’s a site to cut something up (TRIGGER WARNING)

Here’s a site that makes you a website depending on a song you choose

Here’s a gay comic. It’s adorable

Here you can spend Bill Gate’s money

Here you can draw your own island

Here you can learn about patterns website’s use

Here you can get your life stats

Here you can listen to the Tucker Zone (Headphones needed)

Here you can see how fast you’re moving

Here you can see the progress of time

Here’s the butterfly project

Here’s a snickerdoodle mug cake

Here’s a link to some free audiobooks

Here’s something to read when you feel like a burden

Here’s a secret

Here’s my playlist of some sea shanties 

Here’s another secret

Here’s a link to some cool websites 

Here’s a blog that gives you recipes for when you’re low on spoons

Here’s 100,000 stars

Here you can control the weather (TW FLASHING IMAGES)

Here you can weave silk

Here you can make a castle of your own

Here you can make a kaleidoscope drawing

Here you can explore recursion

Here you can draw with pasta

Here you can draw logo’s from memory

Here you can play this is sand, here you draw cool sand designs

Here you can play The Organ Trail

Here’s a customizable white noise website

Here you can simulate gravity

Here you can create your own guardian of the galaxy

Here you can make your own galaxy

not only has the original creator made an HD version,

1k of fluff, read on AO3 here

Jack is finally in his room, after four slices of cake that Dean had watched him devour with increasing pride, when Dean crosses his arms and leans against the wall, turning to Sam. “So… How was your date?”

“Really, Dean? That’s what you’re concerned about? After we all almost died?”

Dean waggles his eyebrows. “Well, yeah. Just looking out for my little brother.”

The bunker door clangs open, and Sam shoves Dean towards it. “Maybe worry about yourself.”

Dean flips Sam off before turning his attention to the door, his eyes catching on the swirl of tan that follows Cas as he makes his way down the staircase. 

“Hey, stranger.” Dean’s throat is suddenly dry. 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says in his soothingly familiar way. 

Dean sees Sam leave out of the corner of his eye, so he walks forward and wraps Cas in a hug. “I missed you,” he mumbles into Cas’s ear, tugging on his trench coat. 

“I would rather have been here than in Heaven, trust me.” 

“Well, you didn’t miss very much.”

Cas hums. “Somehow I doubt that.”

Dean laughs and tugs Cas towards the kitchen. “Maybe just a little.”

Dean flicks on the light, steering Cas to the table. He runs a hand through his hair. “I know your grace has been kind of wonky lately… I was thinking you might be able to taste more than molecules now? Thought I could make you supper, or something.”

Cas raises his eyebrows. “Or something, hmm?”

The tips of Dean’s ears turn red. “Shut up. Now I’m not even going to ask you what you want.”

Dean glances back at Cas, sitting at the table with his hands folded together. Dean throws a dish towel at him, but Cas catches it, because he is generally infuriating. Dean turns around and grumbles to himself, getting out the tomatoes he blanched and peeled in a moment of hope. If Sam was going to go on his date, Dean needed something to keep himself busy, and the thought of Cas returning was distracting enough, to say the least. 

Dean’s not even really sure what Cas was off doing. What did the other angels have to offer? There’s, what, eight of them left? But, whatever, Dean’s not here to stand in the way of Cas doing what he wants; he’s only here to tell him when his ideas were dumb. 

He does just that, and Cas scowls. 

“What am I supposed to do, Dean? Just sit here and watch the world end? I have to try.”

Dean softens. “I know you do, buddy.”

Cas’s frown deepens, and he sighs, drumming his fingers on the table.

“It’s going to have to simmer, so cool your jets. It’s going to be a minute.”

“That’s not… Why do you insist on calling me buddy?”

Sooooo…

Is anyone here a fan of His Dark Materials too? I’ve been re-reading the books in English lately, and man they’re really my favorites. I also started watching the series and so far it’s not bad! Which leads me to this…SPN HDM AU because I’m trash…

1. Robin Williams making off-the-cuff jokes that are definitely not Sesame Street appropriate.

2. The slow zoom in on Elmo’s face at the end.

Reblog if you would continue watching Supernatural if Dean and Castiel became a canon couple

If you would stop watching, reblog this post.

to my fellow americans and other non-english/non-londoners (no clue if this is just General Knowledge in the rest of the country). the bridge you’re thinking of as “the big bridge in london”? this guy?

this is not the london bridge. this is the tower bridge, located about half a mile downstream from the current london bridge. 

“wait, kiwi, the ‘current’ london bridge??”

well...

ew.

so there has been “a bridge at this spot in the thames” since roman times. the romans building a bridge at this spot is part of the founding of london. but the bridges have fallen down and been replaced a number of times because, like, bridges are hard to build and london is a busy place. we’re going against ship-of-theseus rules here and saying when you tear down an old bridge and build a new one in the same place, it’s a new bridge.

my favorite is definitely the “old” london bridge:

which stood from 1209 to 1831, and yes, there is a whole-ass neighborhood on that bridge. it started with henry plantagenet, who accidentally (maybe) ordered the assassination of the archbishop of canterbury, and as public penance ordered a new london bridge to be built, with a chapel to “saint thomas of the bridge” at its center. the city was due for a new bridge anyway, but making a sturdier stone bridge + the very ostentatious chapel made it A Big Deal and also Hella Expensive. later kings would sell plots of property (i almost typed “plots of land” but No) on the bridge to offset costs, but it was still. HELLA EXPENSIVE. which is good because it lasted SIX HUNDRED YEARS. and went through lots of renovations and partial rebuilds and, you know, all the houses and shops on the bridge being renovated because oh my god you put a neighborhood on a bridge and left it there for six hundred years. 

but at the end of six hundred years it was falling apart, because all the renovations on top of renovations does weird shit to masonry after awhile, and also hey! that’s a long time and london is a busy city! so they built “new” london bridge, which opened for transit in 1831:

and it’s an okay-looking bridge, for a stone bridge. but in the timeline of bridge architecture this is about when humans start to get real creative with steel and suspension and other fun engineering tricks. a stone bridge is just kinda... utilitarian. and also, when you’re the busiest bridge in one of the busiest cities in the world, you’re prone to depression. [laugh track]

no, seriously, the bridge started to sink at a rate of about an inch every eight years, slightly faster on one side than on the other. which doesn’t sound like much, but the old bridge lasted six hundred years! new guy’s only been on the job for a century and already slacking like this? suck it up!

but instead of saying that, because it’s a ridiculous thing to say to depressed humans let alone depressed bridges, they decided to dismantle and replace it. city council member ivan luckin, presumably as a joke, suggested selling the pieces of the bridge to offset the cost of building a new one.

robert mcculloch, american oil baron, wannabe real-estate icon, and genuine crazyperson, said “oh, a bridge for sale, you say?”

mcculloch, see, made a deal with the us government to build a city on this deserted chunk of lakeshore. a tourist attraction like “a whole ass bridge shipped from london, england” would bring attention and hopefully buyers to fuckall lake havasu, arizona (the fuckall is silent).

so the deal was struck, the bridge was dismantled and its outermost stones (the pretty, non-structural stuff) were labeled neatly and shipped to the states, and rebuilt over a new concrete structure.

and it... kind of worked? lake havasu isn’t a major tourist attraction in the grand scheme of the country, but considering it’s competing with the grand fucking canyon on the other side of arizona it does alright. it’s a real city and everything!

meanwhile, back in london, it’s the late sixties-early seventies, and that means concrete and brutalism are in in a big way. so here’s your new-new “modern” london bridge, kids.

again, eww.

so to summarize: the tower bridge is a different thing and it’s where you think it is (aka in london), london bridge has been torn down and rebuilt a bunch of times and it’s fine, an american oil baron recycled Once and specifically did it as a macho flex, and humans are amused by ridiculous shit.