back as a cowgirl’s saddle

the day is gonna end anyway and your warm bed will be waiting so you might as well do the hard things and not let them ruin your day

this is unironically how I push myself to do everything I dread

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

building beautiful worlds for minor characters and not a peep about Korogyi. what, is he too inconsequential? number 3 draft pick and no love in the fandom? even vincent lemaire gets a shout out every now and then. Korogyi doesn't even get a first name...

was so well-behaved the dentist let me put my fingers in his mouth too

the first time shane & ilya spend ilya’s birthday together i think the vibe really is ‘saying all of my dog’s favorite words in the same sentence’ because shane wants to make sure its ilya’s best birthday ever & doesn’t know how to do anything by half . shanevoice ilya pay attention i have a plan (nooo hollanderrrrr i want to fuck you NOW is my birthday :((((( how could u be so cruel to me) ok we’re taking the ferrari to mcdonald’s for mcgriddles (ilya visibly perking up) you are allowed to go 125 km/h but only if the coast is clear (imaginary tail beginning to wag) & you have to slow down if you want road head . when we get home we are taking a pot gummy & going swimming & i am grilling for lunch (ilya, his eyes huge, in the apron i bought for you?) yes ilya in the meat daddy apron . then shower, nap, one beer, dinner at my parents’ house, home by 6, and then i’ll give you your birthday present 🙂 does that sound good ? ilya, crying, shane this is my best birthday ever (shanevoice ilya it’s 9 am we haven’t even done any of it yet) MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVE . & after they fuck (because obviously that was the first thing on the agenda shane just likes when ilya whines & begs for it & ilya does too) shane is back-to-business rustling around the bedroom putting their clothes out & talking about nothing while ilya watches from the bed w the big dopey smile of a man enamored with the bus that just ran him over

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

no the lab coat stays on during sex. there might be a chemical spill

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

YES

12/22/2023

I want what they have

Queer joy detected!