I'm tired

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

sometimes a popular thing is good, and that's fucked up

it's not supposed to be that way

(I read this book, it is good)

lets start blair witching it in the corner. together

nothing will make me click off a recipe faster than "and the best part: only 250 calories!!!" ONLY 250???? I'M TRYING TO HAVE THE ENERGY TO LIVE. YOU NEED THOUSANDS OF CALORIES PER DAY FOR THE MOST PART. why would I ever in my life make a dinner that doesn't contain enough energy to sustain my whole Being Alive Deal. 600 at the absolute minimum or I close your stupid website

THE HIKU BOT!?!?

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

as much time as you want but the orangutan also gets that preptime

Okay I choose 45 years and he dies of old age

in 45 years of prep time that orangutan has made and trained a successor whos coming to beat ur ass now

In 45 years prep time I politicize my anti-orangutan ideals and garner support. I tell them made-up stories of their savagery, they become public enemy number one. I become head of office, enforce an anti-orangutan ordinance, create an orangutan extinction squad, and play the waiting game. I sign an agreement with the southeastern countries, Brunei, Burma, Cambodia, Timor-Leste, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam to enact consecutive strikes in their jungles to rid the world of our ‘’greatest threat’’, the orangutan. The successor is no more. 

guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way

wait what’s the difference?

one you can use in the oven safely and the other you can also use in the oven if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire