I'm tired

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

being some fucking guy on tumblr is so crucial for me it keeps me humble and, importantly, stupid

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

a lot of bad trans politics on this website (and beyond) comes from non-women who sincerely believe that having been assigned female at birth inherently gives them a greater authority over womanhood, femaleness & feminism than trans women

just to be clear, if you think “non-binary people CAFAB understand & represent womanhood more than trans women” you believe the same thing as terfs.

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

People pretend that seeing the bad things in life is the smarter, more clear-eyed position, but really, people who refuse to notice the good things are just as blind as the people who refuse to notice the bad things, plus they're more miserable.

Started using this every time I go to enter a shop I haven't bought from before.

the way he just accidentally made the best affirmations for neurodivergents and socially awkward guys. like yeeeees i am a regular guy ! i can answer the phone c:

I would let her kill me for sport

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household