camilla collins fan

Or: a symbolic look at Kent’s rookie year.

Heavily inspired by and lyrics from the song “Goodnight Goodbye” by Rioghnach Robinson (you can listen here: https://rioghnach.bandcamp.com/track/goodnight-goodbye). You should definitely check out the rest of her music and she’s a pretty good YA novelist to boot. :)

Parse gets a nasty check and needs some dental work. Meanwhile, Chowder finally gets his braces off. Then it’s the freakiest of Fridays?

Joe Thornton: I punched Parson in the face and he said thank you?? 

fall in love again and again...

bad bob zimmermann won his third stanley cup in 1978. he turns 57 in january of 2014 which means he was born 1957. he was 21 the third time he won a stanley cup with the montreal canadiens. 21.

he has won a stanley cup every season he has played since he was drafted at 18. and, in real time, the montreal canadians went on to win a fourth stanley cup the following season. four consecutive wins since he was drafted. since we dont know if the win with the pens in 1991 when he was 34 was his fourth or fifth or if he only played for the canadiens and the pens then it’s possible that bad bob won a number of stanley cups with a number of teams before retiring under the pittsburgh penguins

anyway (this got really long. haha. oh boy.)

the panel where the pens’ 1991 win thing doesn’t say that it’s the fourth cup

as opposed to in this panel

where it says “third time”. plus, the first one says jack’s pooped in more than one cup since he was born in 1990 (i’m assuming at another one of these…photoshoots? idk) so im gonna run with bob has a little more than four (i could be completely wrong! way off! but w/e)

but anyway i figured, he was drafted at 18, 1975, and then won the cups with the habs, ‘76, ‘77, and ‘78. he could have still been with the habs during their ‘79 win. or he could have been on another team. this is around the time wayne gretzky (four years younger than bob) and the oilers joined the nhl.

that’s three cups or a possible four cups for bob

the years 1980-83 the new york islanders had four consecutive wins. bob could have been playing for a completely different team. but. i’m trash. so.

that’s a possible seven or eight cups. possibly.

1984 is when mario lemieux (nine years younger than bob) played his first season with the pens after being drafted from the q.

it’s also the year that wayne gretzky, good (fictional) friend to bobby (uncle wayne!), wins his first cup with the oilers. i figured bob must have played with wayne at some point between 1978 and 1991, since they are friends to this day (but, again, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

the oilers win 5 cups in seven years (’84-’90).

so if bob was traded/signed with the oilers after his hypothetical trade/sign to the islanders (at just the right time. or actually bad bob is a stanley magnet. or this is a giant reach). that makes a possible twelve or thirteen. (or not, but, henri richard won 11 in 18 years, so not impossible, right. laughing.gif)

in ‘91 he’s with the pittsburgh pens and jack is one. this is, presumably, where he met, and subsequently befriended, mario lemieux.

the following year in ‘92 the pens nab the stanley again.

a possible fourteen or fifteen.

possibly. completely hypothetical.

after this, the only reason for bob to be wearing a habs jersey after jack is born and kicking (as shown in the hockey prince panel where bob’s wearing the habs uniform, skating out with jack who must be older than two by then), bob must have been traded/signed to the canadiens. back to montreal.

guess who won the cup in ‘93.

the canadiens. they win the stanley in ‘93. it’s the canadiens.

bob had jack skating by then. so he would have been able to walk?/skate? out with bob in 1993. or after if bob was traded to the canadiens after the ‘93 win. but since i’m reaching might as well go big right.

so that’s a possible, completely hypothetical, ready/willing to be jossed, fifteen or sixteen cups.

in eighteen years. roughly. if i follow my completely made up and not at all true timeline.

afterwards he would have retired at around forty-ish (average age) under not-the-pens-maybe-the-habs, when jack is around 6/7 or later if he continued to play after 40

anyway. this is my headcanon for it (and honestly just because i’m trash. laughing.gif) so feel free to ignore because this makes jack even more sad and feeds my other h/c that jack opted-out of the draft in 2008 (when he was eligible for it) bc he felt a lot of pressure to win the stanley after his first season and keep winning and he didn’t feel ready just yet to be drafted and deal with that. (idk why kent didn’t. maybe they made a pact. maybe kent is a black hole where all events are displaced and time is skewed. maybe he wanted to get drafted with jack because he was stupid in love and he wanted to play in the nhl together at the same time. idk. maybe.)

then jack took too much of his anti-anxiety meds (he was already taking more than prescribed to get rid of the anxiety while playing) either accidentally because he had built it up in his head by then. he wasn’t ready last year, so he has to be ready by now right? why isn’t he ready, why isn’t he as good as kent, as his father, what if he’s drafted second? what if he isn’t drafted first round? what if he doesn’t win the stanley his first season? what if he isn’t drafted at all? and he just kept taking more and more and more to keep it under wraps.

or he took them with the intent to harm himself so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

either way. it means he was hospitalised and opted out before the draft (maybe under the advice of someone from the nhl or his doctor. giving weight to the line “the kingdom did not want him” because he believed he was, to quote Ngozi, a fucking mess). was in the hospital while the draft happened (based on the headline ‘top prospect leaves draft’ in parse part ii) and subsequently going to rehab.

but of course this is completely hypothetical. made up. not real.