Nowhorian Scum

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

Reblogging for last comment.

With the way this year is going, the sooner it happens the better.

*this can be reblogged every year

I’m going to make cake. There’s going to be fireworks. There WILL be a burnt effigy.

Look, I’m gonna level with you americans for a second. When old wrinkly and orange kicks the bucket, for once in my life, possibly the only time, I’ll actually want to be able to see the fireworks from across the Atlantic. And I daresay I won’t be the only one. So listen to me and listen closely, cause I’ll only say it once: When the moldy Cheeto bites it, it’s the one and only chance you’ll likely have at being loudly, unbearably, obnoxiously American in your celebration and for once, the rest of the world won’t complain. 

…I know I just reblogged this, but that last comment 👌👨🏻‍🍳

Listen I’m already designing the cake I’m gonna order from Publix.

I want to see the fireworks from AUSTRALIA, guys. Make it happen.

Trump is gonna die one day and we’re gonna have so many crabs. I am gonna order crabs at a restaurant just for fun. I cant wait to make that man’s death a yearly fuckin holiday

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

tiny neighbor who couldn't grasp the names of nouns, just the noises they made. Rocket ship was "wheesh!" Water was "wadleladdleaddle"

proposing a new genre of fiction called an anti-romance where u r presented w a couple at the start & the story is about their emotional journey towards a catastrophic break up

will they won't they (end this farce). there's only one bed (but for some reason they don't really want to share it). out of context eavesdropping (that paints the relationship in a better light than it deserves). chasing after them to stop them getting on that plane (and stopping them from finally being free)

nobody understands my vision i don't mean any old story where a relationship fails and it's tragic or w/e i mean a story where the intention is for the audience to root for it failing the same way u root for it succeeding in a romance. & when the relationship finally implodes at the climax of the story it's all very cathartic & everybody cheers.

like have u never wanted a fictional couple to break up so badly it hurt?

i think we are long overdue for a game that does the reverse of 90s first person shooters and actively makes fun of the player for picking the hard difficulty

whenever people complain about a white male character being erased or ignored or forgotten or underrated or w/e i can't help but laugh bc it's like wow..... the cards were stacked in his favour & he still couldn't hack it..... that's so embarrassing for him

More games need to let you fuck up your romance entirely. Like truly one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me in a game is Alistair dumping me because i made him king and then like an hour later i was knocking on his door like "hey by the way i need you to fuck Morrigan."