if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is


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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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dirt enthusiast
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@geneticdrifting
if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

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i thinkit would be cool if there was an omegaverse but for salmon instead of wolves. Like when the time comes certain members of society get really juicy musclewise and get yiffy fangs and are suddenly compelled to return to the neighborhood they grew up in and 96 hours later show up barefoot in full starvation mode and ravaged by walking through interstate traffic to fuck whoevwr smells the best in the local burger king. Then afterwards they die and disintegrate to be eaten by seagulls in the parking lot
omega-3verse
I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first
i do find the rules around clothes fascinating because of how made up it all is. we invented the idea of covering our bodies from the elements because we lack fur like other mammals and then made up all these rules around it and now people will unironically tell you "men cant wear skirts its unnatural" girl none of this is natural. we are born naked and made up the rest as we went along. hope this helps.
Still no more dnd art sorryyyyy have coyote

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A real page on the White House website
pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time
yeah, shits just a free activity.
Living in a conservative part of a blue state and watching tv during an election year is really trippy because nationally people are like oh you’re all liberals over there you don’t know what it’s like living in a conservative area but then the local attack ads are like my opponent wants to be NICE to ILLEGALS and the RADICAL TRANS AGENDA and BURN DOWN POLICE STATIONS. You should vote for ME. I will SHOOT immigrants PERSONALLY in THE STREET. I am a former NAVY SEAL. BARK BARK.
one time I told my therapist "I tend to have issues with people who think of themselves as authority figures" and she burst out laughing and then said "I think we need to pause and reflect on how you phrased that"
I mean, what, was I supposed to refer to them as if they actually are authority figures? those don't exist
y'all are doing some weird discourse on this post. no that therapist doesn't need to be "investigated" lmao. she didn't say I was wrong, she reacted because the phrasing was specific as fuck and revealed a lot about my worldview which is totally reasonable to want to explore.
Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)

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eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀
Hello!
Howdy!
I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.
Sure thing!
And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.
Which do you mean?
The one with the… With the seeds.
What are they called?
Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”
Sure thing. Would you like anything else?
Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?
Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…
A… One of those right there!
You really must tell me, what’s it called??
I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.
Sure thing! Anything else?
That one there?
You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]
I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?
Do it!
[grunts like a pig]
That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!
Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]
do you ever sit there in your bed with your head in your hands and it's like you can just imagine 9 swords behind you
oh! the space needle is a cute mascot base for seattle’s MLB team! i wonder how they managed to communicate that in a big foam costume?
oh
oh

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If anyone wants to know what a leopard seal sounds like 🦷🩸
Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal
I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.
Kneading bread dough is the most grounding thing for me. So I decided to make some rolls to relieve some stress and make something nice.
@stealingyourbones has made some delightful food abominations, which taught me I can replace the water in bread with almost any liquid.
So I tried Miso.
The yeast loved it and frothed up super fast. Mixing miso broth with the egg and oil smelled funky. The dough didn’t rise any fluffier than usual but the texture feels good. Then I decided to roll in some black garlic and green onion. I’d add nori crumbled up but I ran out.
Now we let it bake.
Holyshitumaioishiiii
This is amazing. It tastes like if miso soup was solid. The flavor is immaculate. It’s just missing the nori flavor. I can add that next time because I am 100% making this again.
WAIT I HAD FURIKAKE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!
This is what perfection tastes like.
Yes! I love sharing recipes! @lady-jeleania
Here’s my Gma Vesta’s hamburger bun recipe:
1 Tbsp yeast
1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)
- mix together and let it froth up
1 1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/4 cup olive oil
- mix all together, then add frothy yeast
5 1/2 - 6ish cups flour
- mix in slowly with a fork until it’s hard to stir with the fork, then stir together with hands until it stops sticking to your skin when you rub your hands together.
- knead the dough about 10min until it starts pushing back (it gets springy)
Let the dough rest for 30min.
(I make a redneck proof box by microwaving a cup of water and quickly replacing the water with the dough bowl and shutting the door to give it a warm place to nap. Do not microwave the dough itself by reflex.)
Roll out the dough and add any flavors you like. For the miso soup bread I chopped up a couple black garlics, and a handful of green onion. Roll it up like cinnamon rolls, cut into 12, and roll each into a ball shape.
Stick in a greased 9x13 casserole dish and let the dough rise to double size. (About 40min-1hr depending on how warm your kitchen is.) (the redneck proof box won’t fit my casserole dish so I stick the rolls on top of the oven while it preheats with a dish towel over it.)
Preheat the oven to 350 and when the dough looks nice and squishy bake it for 20min.
You can brush butter on top if you want. That would look pretty and help a sprinkling of furikake stick after you pull it out of the oven. If you wanna up the miso taste you can also spread a very thin layer of miso paste in before you roll it up with the other fillings. I’m gonna try that next time.
Bake! Eat! Enjoy! Knead all your frustrations into the bread then cleanse it with fire! Lemme know how yours turn out 💕🍀✨🥖