AURIC ✹ VEINED

—✹✹✹ hello! 

private, indie, multi-muse ft. kny, genshin impact & more. 

❝ Do you think it is possible for me to understand why the humans do what they do? Or must I be so drenched in the blood of our enemies that I am fated never to know what it means to walk through life as they do? ❞ Morax wondered aloud to his companion in a rare moment of vulnerability, who seemed to have a unique fondness for those they protected together. 

A thoughtful smile was gifted to him as she spoke, ❝ Oh, Morax, you will never be so far gone. Worrying says you care enough not to let yourself, no? You will grow, if you wish. ❞

—a clip on his shoulder from a passerby snapped him out of the memory and Guizhong’s face washed away from his vision, but her words lingered. They still do and always will. Zhongli caught the woman’s gaze and realized with a tinge of belated embarrassment that he’d been staring, and she had caught him. Sheepishly, he strolled up to her, bowing in apology. 

❝ Forgive my spacing out, as the younger generation calls it. I did not mean to stare like that. If you are inclined to accept my apology, would you care to indulge a stranger to stories over tea? I don’t recognize you, and I know everyone in Liyue Harbor. Surely, you must have splendid tales of travels, yes? ❞ While Zhongli has not known the stranger’s face, the memory that came up and swallowed him whole in the middle of the marketplace makes him feel as though it would be a sincere shame not to make an effort to remedy that fact.

@solisfated gets a starter for Childe

Liyue Harbor was every bit as busy as Kelain had feared, bustling with people running every which way as the descension ceremony fast approached. Passengers poured from a ship recently docked, lining up to present their papers and their merchandise to the Millelith for inspection before being allowed into the city proper. All save for the one passenger who had no papers, nor intention to wait.

Voices called after them as Kelain broke away from the line and sprinted across the docks towards the street. Millelith soldiers gave chase and lost them instantly as they leaped over railings and up stairs and dashed between buildings. Soon the shouts had fallen quiet, but the nomad felt no closer to reaching the gates of the city. Not five minutes on dry land and they’d gotten themselves completely lost.

As they crossed the wooden red walkways, Kelain took in the sights and smells of the city; spices and teas, colorful paper streamers, lanterns, kites, and other decorations, boisterous children chasing one another and the countless stray cats and dogs populating the city. It made for a pretty picture and Kelain would have enjoyed putting it to page but first…

A loud, gurgling sound pierced the air.

They needed to eat. They had just ended a long voyage. Kelain climbed onto the railing and jumped down to the street below, giving one unfortunate old lady quite a start. Ignoring the bewildered onlookers and numerous restaurants, tea houses, and street vendors lining the street, they made a beeline for the nearest fountain where a pair of fat fish with shiny, glistening scales were circling one another, a green light shining from the gem set in the back of their glove.

One thing that Liyue Harbor could always be counted on for was the bustling ambiance of crowded merchant streets and vendors trying to chat you up, hawking their wares. It may be expected and routine for a long time at this point, but Childe found a simple pleasure in the nature of the lively Harbor. It was a stark contrast to his hometown, not that he had spent much time there in the last few years, but he always returns to it.

Keen eyes gleam with mild curiosity as he picked his way through the crowd. Not looking for anything in particular, his schedule clear for a short while yet, Childe wandered around to kill time. A meeting he had to lead with his subordinates at the Northland Bank required him to stay in the Harbor, but he had long since finished his menial tasks this morning. Usually, he would seek out a certain consultant but knew he would stink too much time into the afternoon spending Mora.

Nothing was catching his eye, until a small frame making commotion by the fountain caught his attention. Normally he wouldn’t bat an eye at this, kids played around in the fountains all the time, but something about this one was…different. Childe turned, hands in his pockets, and casually strolled over to get a closer look with an amused grin.

      As  Xiao  sees  the  hand  of  his  Master,  Xiao  tenses.  Unfortunately,  it  is  instinct,  the  hardwired  experiences  of  existing  for  millennia  under  the  one  that  ruined  him  in  the  first  place.  Deep  down,  Xiao  fully  understands  that  Zhongli  has  never  beaten  him  in  that  way,  has  never  inflicted  injury  nor  scarring  upon  his  immortal  form.  When  he  tenses,  Xiao  feels  guilty,  imagining  that  his  Master  would  have  never  purposefully  hurt  him  in  such  a  way,  but  because  of  Xiao's  past  experiences,  he  completely  misses  the  comforting  intentions.  

      ❝  Ngh.   .   .❞  Xiao  clenches  his  teeth  as  he  forces  himself  silent,  almost  retorting  back  childishly;  this  anger  of  his  has  only  branded  him  in  his  guilt  ridden  thoughts.  It  was  not  something  that  Xiao  was  ashamed  of;  he  knew  he  was  not  completely  whole,  nor  pure.  Telling  his  Master  these  things  was  not  something  he  was  ashamed  of  being  and  being  told  to  stop.  .  .  how  could  he  stop  himself  from  speaking  the  blinding  truth?  

      This  situation  was  moving  far  too  fast,  and  although  the  adepti  was  named  for  swiftness,  Xiao  could  not  handle  this  unleashed  honesty  from  his  Master.  It  isn't  easy  to  accept  such  things  when  it's  been  such  a  core  significance  in  believing  that  Xiao  is  not  deserving  of  such  delicate  and,  dare  he  say,  tender  affections.  Even  when  Zhongli's  soft  and  regretful  gaze  meets  Xiao's  perception,  he  stiffens  immediately.  

      Nothing  shall  be  safe  under  peaceful  times,  for  when  the  skies  were  clear,  and  the  glaze  lilies  bloomed,  ichor  dripped  down  his  chin,  and  murderous  intent  was  given  towards  those  of  his  corrupted  Yaksha  kin.  When  the  family  is  reunited  when  peaceful  times  are  shown,  when  Xiao  had  allowed  himself  to  smile,  it  was  all  ripped  away  from  him  instantly.  He  allowed  himself  to  feel  joyful  once.  

      Never  again.  No,  this  torment  had  an  insatiable  lust  for  the  final  Yakshas  misery.  The  voices  that  surround  him  mock  his  inability  to  tell  Zhongli  the  actual  reason  why  he  could  never  let  himself  go;  deep  down,  past  the  own  walls  of  defense,  he  feels  like  he  could  never  truly  leave  Zhongli.

      ❝  I.  .  .  can  not.  ❞  He  renounces  Zhongli,  through  fangs  and  his  nails  gouging  into  his  palms.  It  is  so  challenging  to  say  no  to  the  one  he  would  follow  to  the  end  of  the  earth,  to  the  beginning  and  end,  until  the  sun  in  the  sky  collapses  into  nothing  but  oblivion.  Xiao  places  the  teacup  down  before  he  does  something  rash  before  he  takes  an  even  deeper  breath  before  forcing  himself  to  explain.  

      ❝  You  have  given  me  something  I  have  not  yet  been  able  to  repay,  ❞  He  sees  Zhongli  about  to  open  his  mouth,  and  the  shorter  man  hurries  his  words.  ❝  My  life  was  never  worth  it.  It  wasn't  and  never  was;  the  blood  that  stains  my  soul  and  the  darkness  that  consumes  it  will  never  be  cleansed.  We  both  know  this.  ❞

      The  scars  under  his  shirt  ache,  just  as  his  heart  yearns,  and  if  he  could  have  flown  one  last  time  before  his  Master's  suicide  from  divinity  —  perhaps  he  could  have  explained  these  unexplained  emotions  that  rage  just  like  the  hydra  that  stole  his  wings.  Xiao  moves  away  from  the  table  before  placing  his  hands  in  front  of  him  and  kneeling.  

      His  heart  feels  like  it's  going  to  explode  out  of  his  very  chest  when  his  forehead  touches  the  floor,  his  hair  falling  to  their  sides  as  his  neck  is  clearly  shown  to  his  former  archon.  It  is  the  most  profound  form  of  reverence  and  honor  that  Xiao  can  do  even  when  his  emotions  are  in  turmoil;  he  does  not  move  even  when  he  hears  the  older  man  above  him  shift.

      ❝  Let  me  do  this.  .  .  please.❞

The deep sincerity is palpable, and if Zhongli had any ill intentions ( which he would never, he has done far enough damage as it is ) he could seize the opportunity to twist the knife. What makes his brow tick in concern with weight of thousands of years of his position as the Geo Archon behind it is the fact that Xiao presents such a chance at all. It is unfair for Zhongli to hold Xiao to a contract that no longer exists, just like it is also unfair for him to push Xiao in any direction the adeptus does not wish for. He must let it be, let the man grow on his own terms, for that he has enough sense to know. 

Gilded eyes watch Xiao with intensity. There are many things swirling in Zhongli’s mind, enough to make him hesitate. He doesn’t interrupt, he doesn’t speak flowery words of wisdom, only watches as Xiao gets up from the table and touches his forehead to the floor. His jaw tightens while his throat feels suspiciously tight. The silver ring on his thumb bears down hard as his hands clench into wary, tired fists. 

The contract was meant to save Xiao, Morax had sworn to protect and to ensure that Xiao would not suffer under his command as he did while forced to serve for the dead god who now sat in demonic pieces at the bottom of the sea. 

The contract was no longer fulfilling its purpose in more ways than one. Its existence as only brought Xiao pain, and Zhongli’s hands are not clean. It pains him to see, to know that for all his efforts, the only good thing Zhongli has ever done for the adeptus before him has yet lead to continued suffering. 

Not for the first time ( and far from the last ), Zhongli aches for the soft-spoken and gentle guiding words of Guizhong, who brought life and eased pained wherever she went with just the sound of her voice. She would certainly know what to do, though Guizhong would never have made Xiao shoulder such pain to begin with. 

For all his thousands of years of life experience, Zhongli knowns not what he can do. It feels incredibly powerless, to watch someone he cares for suffer knowing full well he has a hand in the pain and therefor cannot be a healing presence. 

❝ ...hm... ❞ he watches, careful and yearning. ❝ I...understand. You are free to do as you wish, I cannot choose a path for you. ❞