resting lich face

CHICACO DEEP DISH + 9 BEERS + HEAD

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

Kid tattled on my kid at the park, told me “your kid called me a bootydog” and it was so fucking hard not to laugh

who are your parasocial enemies, like mine are andrew lloyd webber and butch hartman

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

Paladin with a thousand yard stare and the name Seraphine etched into her great sword just started talking to me about the divorce

Nodding along and agreeing about how her wife is a cruel cruel woman who doesn't understand the duty of knights even though i know her ass was doing dungeons instead of raising her children

Came out to the party about being trans mostly because i was hoping she'd stop talking to me about this for religious reasons but that same night she asked me to quit my necromancy and also started coming onto me

time to go build stages in the desert, wish me luck

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

time to go build stages in the desert, wish me luck

anyone got anything on their minds, I’ve got like two hours to kill

Count Dooku I Am Going To Fucking Flay You