Roxxy's Random Stuff

tl;dr: use proton mail. i’m not gonna gatekeep this info. it does not require a cell phone number, so it’s my go to for patrons in this situation!!! while i am acutely aware of the harm done by the digital divide & how many people are getting left behind as our world gets increasingly tech dependent, the situation is not hopeless. there ARE provisions in place to help the people most affected, and those provisions are usually wearing glasses & cardigans & sitting behind the circulation desk

Post hard copies where homeless people meet. Also give to librarians.

Thank you!

when i struggle with obsessions about not being a good enough person, i have two steps i follow. first, i try to envision the kind of person i want to be. maybe i want to be more earnest. maybe i want to be more helpful. maybe i want to be kinder. maybe i want to be more assertive. i try to imagine a self that is calm, gentle, and confident. then i think of the simplest and most constructive steps to get there. i cannot put myself down. i cannot beat myself up. the steps have to be polite and reasonable advice i could give to someone without OCD.

tomorrow i won't ask my family if they love me, i will simply enjoy their company. i won't make that mean joke anymore. the next time i see my friends i'll ask for their opinion on something small and i will share my honest opinion as well. i will pick up a book and read for 20 minutes instead of avoiding what is a fun activity because i feel "dumb."

i repeat one of my favorite simpsons quotes a lot: "you can't keep blaming yourself, blame yourself once and move on." you have to move forward and just take the steps to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do using advice that you would give to any person other than yourself. part of being obsessive-compulsive is being rigidly self-critical and scrutinizing yourself far more than you would any other person. it's hard to beat these feelings, but the reality is that self punishment doesn't make anything better. things only get better when you move forward. you have to treat yourself like a human being.

You may not like my answer: acknowledge that sexism can affect men. Recognize that, although the patriarchy generally privileges men, they are also subject to restrictive gender roles that are harmful to them (shunning all things “feminine,” not showing emotions, being protectors/strong, never admitting being victims of SA/IPV, having to “earn” their manhood, etc.).

Give young men a place other than the right-wing manosphere to be heard about the issues they experience. If these grifters are telling them “only we understand how hard it is to be a man, the left hates you for your gender” and they look to the left and see “men claiming they have ‘problems’ are losers who just hate women, all men are trash,” do you think they’re going to be drawn towards or away from feminism?

Nobody walks into a counter-cultural space knowing everything about it - else, it wouldn't be counter-cultural. That boy was brought up with the lessons The Patriarchy teaches, and was punished when he strayed, and rewarded when he did not. That's a LOT of unlearning to do.

Learn how to tell the difference between "their policies/rhetoric actively target me/a marginalized group" and "they have not been as successful as I hoped in protecting me/a marginalized group." I saw the rhetoric a fair amount pre-election that the Democratic Party and its policies were transphobic, that Biden failed queer people, etc. as a reason not to vote for Harris or for Democrats, and the reality is that the Democratic Party and Joe Biden have actually been pretty steadily implementing laws and policies to support and protect queer (including trans) people, and Republicans want queer/trans people to die.

If you want to protect marginalized groups, whether they're ones you're part of or not, you really need to start actively working on distinguishing between the two. And if you keep hearing that the Democrats are just as bad about a marginalized group in the US as the Republicans, actually look into that. What is the evidence? What laws have been introduced or passed by one party versus the other? What rhetoric do they use? What policies and regulations are being put in place?

And is the problem that the Democratic Party is "just as bad" or that they have not managed to stop Republican laws in red states?

None of this is to say that the Democratic Party is perfect, but in most cases only one party is actively working to harm or kill marginalized people, and it's not the Dems.

Understand the government structure that directly impacts you. Not every state or locality operates the same way, and you may have more or fewer layers of government over you with different levels of power. Do you have a town/city government and a county government, or just one or the other? How many officials are elected in your state versus appointed?

Part of that is also understanding what is controlled at the local, state, and federal level. If you're mad about a law or policy and want it to change, whose law or policy is it? Chances are, if it's about how things work for you, it's a state or local law rather than a federal one. Once you understand that, you can target any organizing efforts in the right direction.

Pick your battles. This is not to say that you shouldn't care about a lot of things, but trying to personally organize around everything will probably just make you ineffective and burn you out. Is it Palestine? Ukraine? Sudan? Environmental justice? Climate change? Immigration? Abortion? Queer rights and protections? Education? Native American rights? Criminal justice reform?

Understanding your own priorities can also help you determine what candidates you support and where you draw your red lines. I care a lot about public schools, but support for charter schools is not a red line for me in a politician. Being pro-life is.

But I'm also pragmatic--if my choice is a pro-life person who also wants all queer people to die and a pro-life person who wants to protect queer people, I will hold my nose vote for the latter rather than risk the former winning.

Start identifying what protections you and your loved ones might need that you can access now. Is it an IUD, a tubal ligation, or a vasectomy? Is it getting your legal name changed now? Is it establishing other legal protections such as power of attorney even if you're married?

Vote in every election. If you are an eligible voter, you should be a registered voter, and you should vote every single time. I think the only election I've missed in the last 5 years is the 2024 Democratic primary, and that's 50% because it was basically an uncontested race and 50% because I forgot when it was.

Primaries are where you get to have a say in who your candidate is--at all levels. Look at the policies of who is running and vote for who you want to win--whether because of policy, temperment, or any other reason.

But state and local elections are incredibly important, because they have a huge impact on your actual quality of life. Show up and vote. Vote on off years. Vote when it's just local. Vote for Board of Education, for water commissioner, for sheriff, for judges.

Source

The dumpster fire(/lh) of an SNS that is Twitter, let's face it it will always be twitter but never X, decided that November 11th was "La Squadra Day!!" I saw it coming but I personally didn't have anything prepped due to personal reasons. I can't remember the reason behind this day in particular. But...

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

ARE WE EXCITED??!?!?!?!?!?!?

I know my science sides been kinda dead but I was getting so frustrated trying to differentiate all artistes 'avians'

...that's it, please use freely and don't feel the need to credit me, JUST USE.

It'll be fun to see arrests look at their avian OCS and going *That's you bud! See?*

ah, yes