Novak.

But I’ve had a cat for a few months now, and she’s such a sweetheart. Having her around has been difficult, but doable, and I remember a time when even thinking about having a pet made me tear up and get scared.

But, she’s here, and she’s unknowingly helped me so much. Love her 💖❤️

But I've had a cat for a few months now, and she's such a sweetheart. Having her around has been difficult, but doable, and I remember a time when even thinking about having a pet made me tear up and get scared.

But, she's here, and she's unknowingly helped me so much. Love her 💖❤️

some symptoms may lead to being more prone to abusive behavioral patterns but that doesn’t mean we are all abusive.

also having a personality does explain why certain abusive behaviors arise but DOES NOT EXCUSE abusive behavior

Nowhere in the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists any mention that a narcissist will by default be abusive.

The nature and symptoms of NPD do not necessitate abuse.

Some disorders, NPD among them, may increase one’s likelihood of being toxic or abusive. That does not mean that such behaviour is unavoidable. A person can have NPD without being toxic, and without being an abuser.

“Narcissistic abuse” is not real. A person with NPD can be abusive, but that is not a special, specific kind of abuse, necessary to the disorder. It’s just abuse, carried out by someone also has NPD.

“Narcissist” does not mean abuser.

If your abuser happened to be a narcissist (or if you armchair-diagnosed them with NPD, something I’ve seen happen often, most commonly by people who know very little about the disorder) that does not make you an expert on NPD. It does not mean that every person with NPD is an abuser.

When someone with NPD tries to do research on how to cope with their disorder (including but not limited to behaving ethically and not being toxic or abusive) instead of finding real resources, what comes up is pages of pop psychology and people who conflate narcissism with abuse. When someone with NPD tries to seek professional help, they play a dangerous game, because the stigmatization of NPD (and other cluster b disorders) extends into the professional sphere. People with NPD who have traumatic pasts and/or comorbid disorders (NPD usually if not always develops as a survival mechanism to cope with a history of trauma/toxicity/abuse, and has a high comorbidity rate with disorders like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other personality disorders) are especially heavily impacted.

People with npd are not inherently abusive

People with aspd are not inherently abusive

People with NPD actually have severely low self-esteem. They have inflated egos. (This isn’t inherently a bad thing! Narcissists are not abusive by nature.) This test isn’t necessarily giving you an idea of your self-esteem, and scoring low doesn’t make you a better person than anyone who scored high. (Though, I have no reason to doubt that you’re wonderful! You seem great!) People with NPD are severely traumatized. It is a personality disorder. People with NPD are not abusers. They need support and understanding just like people with every other mental illness.