that's not that weird, to have a train name

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

every time a streamer says gooner it takes years off my life

it's like. people started to realize maybe they shouldn't say shit like degenerate or porn addict and decided they were gonna use a new word to mean the exact same thing but dressed up as a funny meme this time

Fell asleep on the couch and had a dream about a tng episode where Picard and Q were forced to live together, and Q complained about hair in the shower drain and he blamed Picard and Picard was like "I am bald" in a deadpan voice

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral