Nothing Done But Having Fun

there's no temptress quite as irresistible as the mid afternoon sleepies

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

@raccoonmilf

I missed my raccoons’ birthdays this year because I had to work :( it was tragic

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

in bed with the lights off at 7:40pm big as fuck glass of ice water i don't care what happens to anyone or anything bye

got a good thing going where these bandits give me a half share of whatever loot they pull from adventurers i send their way & the best part is i don't even need to lie or anything since every hero is born with the unshakeable belief in their ability to win a fight against ten guys at once. just gotta say "we've got bandit trouble in the west, let me mark it on your map" and a week later i get $15 from Wulfric the Hound on cashapp

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

you should also be able to do this to job listings

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there