Unruled Verse

Been feeling this desire to shut my mouth lately. Not say anything unless it's meaningful. No desire to overshare or share period. That's why I've been so quiet for 2 weeks plus. And an overpowering feeling of having nothing to say.

Learnt early on to keep my thoughts in my head because when you share things in your life with other people, they now feel entitled to share their opinions on everything that's going on in your life.

Always remember that your life isn't an all you can eat buffet....or an airport runway for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to come and go as they please.

Once you walk out of a person's life, don't expect them to be standing in the same spot, waiting for you when you get back.

Nothing in life stays the same forever. The spaces in your life should be coated with Teflon, NOT super glue.

Don't know who needs to gear this but...your story isn't over till God says it's over. Until then, keep fighting. Keep praying. Keep at what you're doing. You're almost there.

God never said the battle was going to be easy. It's not a battle if it's easy. Keep developing yourself and advancing in your craft.

Seek God while He may be found. Put your trust in the Holy Spirit to guide you and learn to discern His voice.

A sad but relieving(bittersweet)fact about highschool is that you will never see any of the people you met there ever again. The few ones that treated you well. The bullies. The teachers etc.

Think of them like helium balloons. They stay in your life as long as you keep holding on to the balloon(🎈)strings wherever you go. If you let go of the string, the balloon floats away and out of your eye view.

So it is with highschool friendships/relationships. They don't last unless you keep them. Like kites and balloons. I don't know about you but I think it's nice not having to pretend you like certain people.

Take this as your sign to remember that the thing you hate the most right now will be over before you know it. Nobody cares about you half or quarter as much as you think so permit yourself to go live your life and do what makes you happy.

Through my eyes I see some guys

A pack of wolves with their target in sight

The bad boys of the neighborhood

Walking with their macho swagger

Staring every other guy down and sniffing out insecurity

They size each other up.

Strong shoulders, big chests, huge muscles.

Reeling back for a fight.

Torn faces, cracked crowns, split knuckles

Blood sprinkled at their feet

Such mysterious creatures. I can't figure them out. The connect their jaws to each others faces one moment and are laughing the next.

They smell of danger is irresistible to them.

It pulls them like a magnet.

Chaos beckons to them and they answer the call. No matter what time of day or night.

Like a carrot on a stick, they follow her and meet their end.

Us artistic folk are your ordinary exception

You think, why can't we be just like you

You try to break us because you don't understand us

Bearing your full weight, you crush us down beneath your feet

We'll make a man out of you

One busted lip, bloody nose, and black eye at a time

All we want is a connection.

All we crave is your affection.

Not one to get angry easily but sometimes, I feel so much rage like a pot that's been left to boil unchecked. Like a volcano that's been capped. And I need an outlet. A good use for my boiling rage.

Careful honey. If you get too close to me on a bad day, you might get a third degree burn you may never recover from. When I'm mad, I'm out for the kill. I can't see or think straight. All I see is red. And I'm out to hurt anyone. My neurons run at hyperspeed. A wild bull.

Choosing not to reply is me thinking long and hard about the objective best way to respond to a question.

This isn’t the ’70s, the ’60s, or the ’50s any longer. Things may have felt easier in your time because you got lucky. We were born into a harder one.

It is not our fault that we are pressured to make a certain amount of money by a certain age, or to lose our virginity early. It is not our fault that women call men toxic for simply asserting themselves and being men. It is not our fault that so many people are obsessed with sex, attention, and shallow validation.

It is not our fault that we are lonely, depressed, anxious about the future, and struggling to make genuine connections in a world driven by money, status, and hustle culture.

It is not our fault that people are more fake than ever. It is not our fault that multiple wars are happening at once, desensitizing people to death and bloodshed. It is not our fault that the pressure to succeed keeps rising, while those of us who feel weak are pushed toward evil just to survive.

It's not talked about enough but being a man is soo hard. You have all these expectations of who you have to be. How much money you should be making ideally. You're getting indirect pressure from your parents to settle down if you're closer to your thirties or mid/late thirties.

Then you go on to the dating scene where you have Gen Z girls who won't date you if you're not making a specific amount of money per month and year. If you're physically unattractive facewise, you have to work on that else no woman will be interested in you.

You have the aspect of friendships where people keep getting more and more shallow. Ghosting instead of talking things out and explaining yourselves has become the order of the day. Friendships don't last. So many men are thinking of end1ng themselves because they have no one. No one cares about men. That's why men find ways to escape their current situation be it through hours spent playing video games, smoking heavily, drinking, watching 🌽.

People are becoming increasingly desensitized to su1c1de, moordah, and mental health. You have women that don't want to try and understand what their man is going through. It's all about hustle culture and money and work. Other men/people won't befriend you unless you have connections or you're both gaining something from the relationship. Once they're not getting anything in return, they don't see any reason to be friends with you.

You have vanity metrics and all this toxic money and success and relationship advice from self-proclaimed "gurus" on social media. Let's not even talk about the pressure and expectation and the feeling that you're failing when you compare yourself to your age mates on social media that appear to be succeeding. Most young men are single. Most young women are not.

Your friends or people in your age group are pressuring you to lose your virginity even though being a virgin is sacred and not something to give up to just any woman. Men lose their kids in child custody battles and the wives move the kids far away from their father and fills the kids heads with lies that the man crashed the relationship. The man owes thousands of dollars in debt to the court due to trying to get back his children, he is mandated by the government to pay child support, and he can't see his kids. How is that fair exactly?

Women want equality. Equal rights, equal pay but they don't want to do the same amount of work as the men. You have the delusional feminists that say they don't need a man and blah blah blah. They say it's "toxic masculinity" but there's no toxic femininity. You have social platforms shadow banning or censoring your posts if you say something hateful against a woman as a man but they'll leave a hateful post by a woman aimed at men on the platform.

As a man, you are not needed until you are. We need community. Our voices matter too. We need mental health groups. We need to have difficult conversations. We are brothers and were meant to help each other where we stumble. Not always trying to compete and tear each other down/apart because of women. As a man, you can't cry in front of other men or in public because according to men, crying is seen as a sign of weakness. You have to be strong 24/7. If a man gets s3xua11y abus3d - as a kid or adult - by a man/woman and opens up about it, other men will tell him that he should consider it a trophy that a woman did it to him or that him staying down while it happened meant that he wanted it because no "real man" will allow another man do that to him.

Hm. I love me a good rant cause it's therapy for me. It feels so good to air out what I think/feel. It's like a burden being lifted off of one's shoulders.

Not gonna lie though. As a writer, creative, you get to a point where you feel like you've said so much that you don't have anything left to say.

I try to post as often as possible but can't help this feeling that maybe I've reached my peak.

Sometimes, I do something. Maybe I take an action like washing a cup or any activity.

As a dog returning to its own vomit, so too do I with old habits.

I say I won't do it again but I keep falling back into the deep black pit. Everyone calls her lust. She beckons to every man, woman. "Let go of all restraint. All rules, guides, wisdom. Come with me. Let's go have ourselves some fun." She's in the driver's seat of my mind. I try to resist her but her hold on me is strong.

Giving in to her callings, I descend down the depths of depravity. I can't find her anymore. As soon as I told her yes, she wished away like steam. I rolled around with the wrong crowd, high off of my own energy. Blow exchange. Made a mistake. Hands behind my back to bars in front of me.

As I lay on the cold, hard floor of a prison cell, I come back to my senses. It was her all along. She didn't disappear. She was always there, tricking me once, twice, thrice. Pulling every evil string. Lies reverberating all around the echo chamber known as my mind.

1. The ones that care what other people think so much that it stops them from doing what needs to be done.

And:

2. The ones that care what people think but don't allow it to stop them from doing what needs to be done.

For me, even if I care what you think, I'm still going to do what I want regardless. I can't be controlled nor can I be tamed. Don't care what you think. Your opinions are nothing more than projections of how you feel about yourself soo, WHO CARES?

And if you think about it, true confidence isn't about not caring at all what people think. It's about choosing to do what matters to you despite being aware of what other people say/might say.

So, be messy. Be unapologetically YOU. You can't stop people from talking but you can stop yourself from caring by still choosing to be you. You're the best yourself and the worst somebody else. Get out of your head.

Funny how they say you should be yourself but when you do show who you really are, the same people run away from you because who you "really are" doesn't match who they thought you were or who you led them to believe.

Truth is, most people love the fake version of you. The version of you that's easy to manipulate. The version of you that isn't sure of himself/herself. The version of you that take on more load than they can bear and tolerates disrespect.

Nobody wants the real you. Only thing you stand to lose by being real is the fake. When you're real and stay true to yourself. Your values. People don't like that because they can't control that. Every time you say yes to something you don't want, you're saying no to yourself.

Shut up more. Speak when your words change something.

Stop begging for approval. Your worth isn’t negotiable.

Quit chasing people who ghost you — collect those who stay.

Cut the explanations. Say the thing, walk away.

Call disrespect out IMMEDIATELY. Don’t file it away like lost socks.

Stand when you shake hands — small acts teach people how to treat you.

Don’t gossip; build, don’t burn.

Obsess over your work, not other people’s noise.

Protect your time like it’s rent — because it is.

Leave rooms that don’t want you. Make exit a habit.

Invest in yourself — skills > pity.