Cookie Cookie Yo!

To be fair, in this metaphor, the uber driver is in trouble with the local mob boss because he was ferrying cocaine and dumped it out the window when it looked like he might get pulled over, so…

So the uber driver hooks up with the sister of the guy who first hires him, and it turns out that their dad is the Deputy Sheriff, and things go downhill even faster than previously imagined when they hit up a local truckstop for a bite to eat, fuel drop and impromptu family reunion.

Truckstop’s run by an old friend who he won his car off that one time, and the dude’s hitting on the chick he’s hooking up with and it’s like come on man, don’t do this to me but then the girl’s dad is there and he gets hit over the head and shoved into the trunk of the cop car and it’s like oh, shit. Fuck. Chewie man, don’t let them take my car!

And then the kid, who had never been off the farm before he hired you, comes back with Green Beret-level skills to bust you out of jail and his sister, who was honestly kinda preppy, straight up MURDERS the mob boss. And then you get the plans to the DOD’s biggest single piece of equipment so you go to the middle of nowhere where it’s being built and you have some trouble with the locals, but somehow the annoying nerd speaks their language and manages to impress them, so you work together to infiltrate the military base. Oh, and the kid lets himself get captured so he can talk to his dad, and after a knock-down drag-out fight, the dad realizes that he’s been played his entire adult life by the corrupt politician overseeing everything, so he chucks the politician down the maintenance shaft of said politician’s high-rise just before it gets destroyed by the rebels, led by your friend in your truck that he borrowed with the promise that he wouldn’t put a scratch on it, but he knocks off your side mirror getting out of there.

I’d watch this version of Star Wars

i had a vision last night that absolutely ruined me. a bra, but it’s overalls. denim with the straps you have to tie and everything. but it’s a bra!

Jra for your joobies

...may I suggest an angsty version?? They only break free after they've stabbed their friend/can't stop themselves in time

YOU MAY NOT

Seriously @thatdemonboi wtf

Seriously @thatdemonboi wtf

ADHD: I can't motivate myself to clean it up either so I guess I just live like this now

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

This post has evolved.

I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme.

#when casting is perfect I begin to wonder about Marvel #do they secretly grow these people on farms #let them loose on the world for a while to establish lives #and then cast them as the role they were grown for

i do believe this is my fifth time reblogging this

seb’s the weird cousin

@justaweirdthoughtstuff

This is amazing oml

Seb’s the fanboy they grew to connect with the audience

@snowyseba This explains everything!

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots on pinterest. I love it.

Love this

Everybody says Seb isn’t like Bucky… but he IS. He’s Bucky without a mask on. Bucky’s always wearing some sort of mask. Even around Steve. Seb is what Bucky would be like if he’d had the chance to just ~be~.

UH THIS

ITS FINALLY ON MY DASH YESSS

Aldjaksnana

I’ve found it. I’ve found the perfect post.

it’s on my dash jdnckdmd

these dorks lmaoo

I love everyone omg they’re all so amazing???

YES

Chris looks so hot in that first gif set

Omg I found THE original post! Holy shit I’ve only ever seen screenshots of this!

This post pops up on my dash every few months and I will never not reblog it.

This is too good to not reblog

Everybody see this, this is the quality trash I came to Tumblr in the first place.

Marvel has a farm wher they harvest actors [confirmed]

@thatdemonboi