Accept the red string, idiot!
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor
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Accept the red string, idiot!

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perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night
this is what i mean
Via @bulbaderp
To be clear, THIS is how nights of the future should be lit
This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.
orange and especially white lights deter bats and prevent them from reaching feeding grounds at nighttime. Please if you can, write to your local council and encourage red street lights!!!!
ALSO! red light doesnβt fuck up human night vision much so you can go in and out of lit areas without readjusting
the red light not fucking up human night vision is also why a number of older cars had gauges that lit up red at night
i legit miss red lights in cars and appliances n stuff. red city lighting is goated
I felt like we could all use some more capybaras in our life. π
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i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.
well damn . egg on my face
THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself
I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.
I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.
I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.
29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)
but I did the in person practical shit at school.
the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.
so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.
Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.
A battle between good and weevil

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Gulf of Belgium
Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???
as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name
for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!
I think I know how this works.
For personal context, before I went to the '98 Burning Man festival, one of the things I'd read from a couple different journalists was that "everybody" runs around naked. Which, fine by me, I'd already spent a lot of time in clothing-optional spaces, I'm not fanatic about it but it's nice.
So I got there early and set up a public shade structure on one of Black Rock City's main roads and spent most of each afternoon just watching the crowds go by. I don't remember seeing more than one actually naked person the whole week. I think a topless woman passed by my intersection maybe every half an hour, sometimes once an hour. So why in the hell were people, normally pretty smart and observant writers, coming away with the impression that everybody was naked?
Then I remembered an unrelated passage from Joel Garreau's great book about the history of the outer-ring suburbs, Edge City. Mall developers told him flat-out that they tried to keep the crowds in their malls less than 5% black. Not because they themselves were racist, but because they had determined, experimentally, that if more than 5% of the people in the mall are black, the median white shopper will wrongly describe the mall as at least half black, as mostly black. And not a few of them would describe it, at 6% black, as a mall where "only black people go." Why?
Because, emotionally, they were still upset over the last one when the next one came into view.
Same as the journalists describing Black Rock City as all naked. Same as the right-wing religious culture warriors describing television as entirely mixed-race and gender non-conforming. Not because it's even vaguely true, we know that, but because they haven't gotten over their discomfort over the last one by the time the next one comes along. The anger, not the stimulus, is the part that's continuous, so their mind lies to them that it's "all" the thing they can't get over.
Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm
Because, emotionally, they were still upset over the last one when the next one came into view.
this has rewired some neural pathways for me
Shawn Braley Illustration
@joy-and-whimsy-official
Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!
βlol Arthur Conan Doyle clearly didnβt know anything about drugs. Sherlock Holmes did cocaine but it calmed him down. Thatβs not how cocaine works!β
There are two options: Arthur Conan Doyle had never met someone addicted to cocaine or he met some with ADHD who was addicted to cocaine
#you cannot convince me sherlock 'i don't see a use for this common knowledge i shall forget it immediately' holmes wasn't adhd as hell #sherlock 'if i have nothing to do for a day i will literally start shooting the walls out of boredom' holmes #sherlock 'i have built a perfect wax replica of myself - why? iunno' holmes
He specifically took drugs when he didn't have a case to occupy himself, that man was ADHD as fuck
ACD was a practicing doctor and ship's surgeon during the period where cocaine was routinely used as medicine and described by medical journals as "the blessed instrument of Christ," so not only is there exactly zero chance that he'd never met anyone addicted to cocaine, he also almost certainly administered cocaine to people.
It's also definitely not a stretch at all to say he'd probably met people who self-medicated with cocaine to deal with what we'd now call ADHD. Like, the second ever Sherlock Holmes story begins with Watson protesting Holmes' overuse of cocaine, and Holmes replying that he needs it to deal with his overactive brain -- it's entirely plausible that ACD had had that exact conversation with someone or multiple someones.
Like, the man had been a ship's surgeon. On a whaling ship. The number one place in Victorian times to find men who either couldn't get or couldn't hold down work elsewhere. He was almost certainly extremely familiar with a pretty broad spectrum of neurodivergence and self-medication thereof, even if medical science didn't yet have the terminology to apply to it.
Not only did ACD probably have this conversation with someone in real life, he clearly knew and understood how dangerous cocaine was.
At a time when cocaine was regularly administered by other doctors, Doyle wrote Watson to have a clear aversion and dislike of the drug and understood that it was bad for you. Itβs written as a clear indication that Sherlock, despite all his brilliance and genius, is still a human being who can make very bad decisions for himself.
Not only that, but Watson does ultimately win and gets Sherlock off of his addition to cocaine in the end. It takes him a while, but Sherlock is weened off the drug and this is seen as a good thing for everyone involved. In fact in a later story Watson comes home and sees a needle and fears that Sherlock mightβve had a relapse (he didnβt, the needle was just being used for something else involving a case).
Doyle knew what he was doing. He wasnβt writing it as an endorsement or as an indication that Sherlock knew better than Watson. Itβs made very clear in the books that Sherlock is highly limited in a lot of ways that Watson is not. Watson was a skilled physician and both he and ACD knew cocaine was not good for someone like Holmes.
Conan Doyle was hyperfixated on history and very mad his excited infodumping historical fiction didn't get the attention the Holmes stories did. He wrote bestselling serialized novels and short stories (that all tend to follow a specific structure) while full time practicing medicine, and by all accounts had a Holmes-like way of Noticing Fucking Everything.
He had a clear disdain for social convention while understanding deeply how to conform to it in order to survive; a lot of Holmes' deductions actually depend on assumptions about typical human behavior in a given situation rather than physical evidence alone. It's the kind of encyclopedic conscious knowledge of unwritten social rules you might develop in order to mask successfully.
He was almost certainly neurodivergent himself. There's a reason classic Holmes fans tend to be Like That. Game recognize game.
When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.
So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".
So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.
Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

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i'm thinking about charlotte brontΓ« spending her last years editing and publishing her sisters' writings and about christopher tolkien dedicating his life to the protection and meticulous reconstruction his father's life's work and about johanna van gogh publishing the letters between vincent and theo that would propel vincent van gogh into fame because she knew how much her husband had loved his brother, and about how so often art isn't just a reflection of the artist's mind and skills but a testament to the fact that they were loved
My sister just quoted this post at me over dinner bc it was discussed in her philosophy class & I can't even smugly inform her of its authorship. Due to the mindhunter yaoi state of my most recent blog history.
We really are never going to stop stripping this land bare
those mountains are older than Saturn's rings and they want to blow them up and hollow them out for cell phone batteries
i don't know if folks outside these mountains understand what a state these communities are left in after being ravaged by the coal and steel industries. they endured well over 100 years of paternalistic brutality to provide the resources that built america with nothing in return and that very much informs the culture and collective psyche. force fed opiates to undermine labor movements and hard-won unions after decades of horrific abuse at isolated company towns. living there you can feel how we're all just one giant open wound that can't heal.
if bringing in corporations to mine raw materials from the appalachian mountains was good for the community, appalachia would be known for how happy, healthy, and wealthy the people are.
Every day I am haunted by the fact that Jupiter Ascending was not based off of a million word space opera fantasy book series and that I cannot go to the library and take out like six door-stopper sized volumes of sheer unhinged gendervibes-y space werewolf bee queen batshittery where every new freudian space eugenicist villain talks like he's trying to eat the scenery's pussy out harder than the last guy. π
getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone
my friend competed in a Survivor knock-off reality tv contest on a tropical island, and he did exactly this. While everyone was scheming and forming cliques and voting strategically to get rid of the others, he just floated in the sea for weeks.
Weeks into the show they had to like, reintroduce him in the editing because he had just been absent from the show till then; "remember this guy? he's also still here". They started with 60 people or something, and he made it to the final 6, where he lost a balancing game.
It was very funny to watch the crappy show just to see my friend, because most episodes he just didnt feature at all. He didn't stress about winning the big prize or anything, he just treated it as a vacation where he got to chill out for two months and get paid for it. A real icon.

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something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]