The Name’s Seven

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

many such pillowcases

"How could you do this" with the help of the demon blade "this isn't you" well yeah it's me and the demon blade "I know you're a good person" yeah that wasn't in question "please come home" not if you're gonna be a dick to the demon blade "we need to destroy the demon blade" listen I don't come to family gatherings and say we Need To Destroy aunt cassie and she's genuinely evil, unlike the demon blade

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

If your tummy itches when you wear jeans, you have a nickel allergy and should paint the back of the buttion with nail polish. Okay I am going into the woods forever now. I love you.

WHAT

Sensitivity to nickel is extremely common amd despite this, clothing manufacturers often use it because it is cheap. A coat or two of nail polish is an effective barrier between the allergen and your skin. Goodbye forever. Do not forget my wisdom

remember when things were simple

this is the saddest fucking image on this website

"its a texas chainsaw miracle"

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world