professional dog annoyer

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

Four cubs? She has FOUR healthy, happy cubs??? I’m 🥺😭❤

that “looking for a man in finance with a trust fund 6’5” blue eyes” song on tiktok makes me feel like an insane person because i cannot stress enough how much i never ever want to meet that man

daily affirmations i Can be normal about that man

i wanna learn everything in the world!!! but i have no time!!!!!!

I think sitting on the floor of the ocean for a few hours would fix me

I should be a shipwreck

bro stop talking about yearning. go make mistakes and learn

don’t bite the hand that fingered you or whatev they say

"when people ask how you're doing, they don't really care." most of them do, actually, the amount they care is just directly proportional to how well they know you. you're just mad you can't be the main character of the Twice Daily.

if i am doing shitty and the check out girl asks me, "how are you?" i will say,"man, i've been better." we are strangers to each other. she doesn't need to know my whole life story. she doesn't need to know about my credit score and my hemorrhoids or my uncle in the hospital. she just needs enough to respond "been there, buddy. hey, at least the day is almost over?" and then we part ways. i have been on both sides of thousands of exchanges like this, the only one making you do a little song and dance is you, my friend

im not scared of my own desires. i sabotage myself to make sure i never get what i want for unrelated reasons.

Some of my favorite hobbies are counting my chickens before they hatch, putting all my eggs in one basket, crying over spilled milk, barking up the wrong tree, and above all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

I think the hot new trends for this summer should be reading comprehension and critical thinking skills