Honey's Discourse Blog

“but a lot of us see ao3 as a safe space to get away from that kind of nasty content” - lol you can see the middle of a busy interstate as a safe space all you want too but that doesn’t mean that you get to walk into the road and scream at all the cars going by that they’re the ones infringing on your safe space either

like buddy. I KNOW it isn't incest. I didn't think it was incest, I wasn't thinking about incest at all in fact, and I would really have liked to have CONTINUED not thinking about incest except every damn author in the tag feels the need to remind me about it constantly. people who do this shove incest ships into my face way more than actual incest shippers do because they won't fucking stop talking about how much they don't ship incest.

My avoidance is only reinforced by the fact that in my circles, "No Underage Sex" is occasionally code for "No one admits they want each other till the younger party is 18 years and 1 second old," which is what you get when people are squicked by underage lust, but not by age gaps. Pretending that there's no attraction before the object of affection is 18.0000001 is perfectly valid as a kink and diametrically opposed to many of my kinks, which involve people owning their kinks.

Now I'm wondering how often people write "Relatives, e. g. Dean and Sam Winchester, discover that they're not biologically related which makes it okay for them to bone down, so they do, despite having believed that they shared genes until the Ancestry.com test came back," which seems similar in disingenous-to-me effect.

Inexplicably, yes, there are people who see Faith as Buffy's victim. They tend to blame Buffy for Faith going off the rails in the first place, because she didn't do 'enough' to help her or let her in 'enough', as if that was somehow her responsibility? It makes no sense on any level.

And I actually don’t just mean with tumblr content and with fiction (fan and otherwise). I mean with life in general. 

If you have sensory issues that make it hard for you to stay calm when there’s lots of noise and lights and people, you should probably stay away from concerts and nightclubs and bowling alleys. Not go there and expect everything to be altered to keep you “safe” or expect your party to devote their entire evening to comforting you after you have a meltdown (real example I have encountered IRL). 

If you don’t like being around alcohol or drunk people because it triggers you, you probably shouldn’t go to bars or to parties where there’s gonna be a lot of drinking. Not show up and start demanding people dump out the booze and stay sober because you’re getting upset, or asking your friends to leave with you when they came here fully prepared to drink. 

If you’re vegan and become violently ill and morally repulsed by people eating meat, you really really really shouldn’t show up to a barbeque or a cookout where meat is “allowed”. If you think TTRPGs are stupid and that getting emotionally invested is cringey, don’t ask to join a group and make a character (real example I have encountered IRL multiple times). If you don’t believe in ghosts or aliens and think anyone who DOES is a moron who needs to be “shown the light”, you don’t belong at paranormal conventions or séance parties (real example I have encountered IRL, also multiple times). 

Like, it’s honestly that simple??? Don’t deliberately enter spaces that you will not have fun or be comfortable in and then get angry and defensive and sulky over that space not being catered to you. 

Okay but I am literally talking about people deliberately walking into something they dislike and trying to scream and cry at everyone there until they change the experience. That is what I'm talking about. You're talking about learning how to function in a public space without being an asshole. I'm talking about purity police who literally trying to force change on groups that are happy the way they are.

And I actually don’t just mean with tumblr content and with fiction (fan and otherwise). I mean with life in general. 

If you have sensory issues that make it hard for you to stay calm when there’s lots of noise and lights and people, you should probably stay away from concerts and nightclubs and bowling alleys. Not go there and expect everything to be altered to keep you “safe” or expect your party to devote their entire evening to comforting you after you have a meltdown (real example I have encountered IRL). 

If you don’t like being around alcohol or drunk people because it triggers you, you probably shouldn’t go to bars or to parties where there’s gonna be a lot of drinking. Not show up and start demanding people dump out the booze and stay sober because you’re getting upset, or asking your friends to leave with you when they came here fully prepared to drink. 

If you’re vegan and become violently ill and morally repulsed by people eating meat, you really really really shouldn’t show up to a barbeque or a cookout where meat is “allowed”. If you think TTRPGs are stupid and that getting emotionally invested is cringey, don’t ask to join a group and make a character (real example I have encountered IRL multiple times). If you don’t believe in ghosts or aliens and think anyone who DOES is a moron who needs to be “shown the light”, you don’t belong at paranormal conventions or séance parties (real example I have encountered IRL, also multiple times). 

Like, it’s honestly that simple??? Don’t deliberately enter spaces that you will not have fun or be comfortable in and then get angry and defensive and sulky over that space not being catered to you. 

* Faith tries to seduce Buffy’s boyfriend into sex hoping he’ll lose his soul and turn back into a mass murdering genocidal rapist*

* Faith tries to torture Buffy to death*

* Faith strangles Xander nearly to death*

* Faith works for an evil immortal who wants to become a giant demon and eat thousands of innocent people*

* Faith works as a double agent spying on the people who think she’s their friend*

* Faith holds Willow hostage*

* Faith holds a knife to Willow’s throat*

* Faith stabs an innocent man to death to prevent the gang from learning information that could stop the slaughter of thousands*

* Faith shoots Buffy’s boyfriend with a poison arrow that’ll kill him unless he drains the blood of a Slayer*

Audience reaction: Poor Faith. If only Buffy had been nicer to her. Stabbing Faith was the worst thing Buffy ever did. She’s an attempted murderer. She never even apologized to Faith. How can Faith ever trust her?

* Faith beats an innocent girl to a bloody pulp to steal her clothes*

* Faith punches Buffy’s mom unconscious*

* Faith ties up Buffy’s mom and holds her hostage*

* Faith tries to stab Buffy’s mom to death*

* Faith uses a device to switch bodies with Buffy without her consent*

* Faith knocks Buffy unconscious and hands her over to the WC hitmen to be drugged, tied up, chained, and sent off to be punished for Faith’s crimes*

* Faith jokes she hopes Buffy gets raped*

* Faith strips off Buffy’s clothes, sees Buffy in the nude, and touches Buffy’s body*

* Faith uses Buffy’s body to rape Riley*

* Faith uses Buffy’s body to trick Riley into raping Buffy*

* Faith tries fleeing to Mexico in Buffy’s body*

* Faith tries to murder Buffy’s ex boyfriend*

* Faith elbows Cordelia in the face*

* Faith tortures Wesley nearly to death*

it was about respecting my partner’s identity. and the fact that they don’t get that respect from people in the exact community that they should be able to count on getting it from.

ie, you.

they are not het or cis, and no relationship they are in will ever be a “straight relationship” because they. are not. het. or. cis.

everyone in the notes gatekeeping me because I’m “not oppressed”? I never said I was. the person you’re really attacking and invalidating by shitting on this post is them, a pansexual nonbinary person who is unerasably queer.

Dean murdered Amy of his own volition. Dean allowed an angel he did not know to inhabit Sam's mind and body without his consent of his own volition. Dean took the Mark of Cain of his own volition.

Dean was highly emotionally abusive to his brother AND to Cas. He was intensely homophobic and could not actually perceive women as being fully rounded humans. And no, your insistence that Dean was a closeted gay man does not "give new context" to his behavior. It does not become "understandable" and "sad" if he's repressed. I'm sorry that you're so desperate to infantilize gay men like that, but not every closeted dude becomes a serial abuser incapable of being held accountable.

And no, Sam "not having Dean in his heaven" was not emotional abuse. Sam running away from John to live a normal life was not emotional abuse. Sam being tricked by Lucifer and Ruby and being made into a pawn for their plans was not emotional abuse. This is not a "both sides" situation; Dean was actively, knowingly, maliciously cruel to vulnerable people around him, and Sam was just trying to live his fucking life.

Look, this is real talk. I’m going to put aside my opinions about fiction for a moment and talk about something that has been bothering me for awhile.

Antis, if you are going to call proshippers out on apps like TikTok or Instagram (hell, even Tumblr or Twitter!), do not put your real face in the video. Do not use your name, birth date, or anything else that might identify you. Proshippers, if you are going to call out antis, the above applies to you.

Why? Because if you do, that video is going to follow you around. Videos are downloaded, posted to other sites, and otherwise preserved in ways that you can’t destroy just by deleting the video. It also becomes blackmail material and can bar you from jobs that require a background check or a security clearance.

Please be careful. I see so many young people on this site and many others who do not know basic internet safety/cyber security. It’s scary. It makes minors far more vulnerable to predators than they might be otherwise.

There are predators on the internet and in every community. You are never truly safe on the web. There are very bad people hiding under the guise of being a “safe” adult who want to hurt you for some sick thrill.

- Same goes for character’s sexuality. Fandom is a playground but it’s not stoping you from enjoying canon.