You're still here?

i like to think i'm the dead horse that everyone keeps beating

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

Basically I like when there’s garlic and onion

yeah yeah aminals on the loose and kid vampire I know I know but like. Mr peppymint the elf. wee wee the dog. itsy bee and capn bitters. where is their love...

i haaaate being avoidant. it makes you feel like the world's biggest jackass whenever someone tries to talk to you or whatever and you just Freeze Up

Oh sorry i took a long ass time to reply and didnt say anything. I got arbitrarily scared and tired myself out so now i cant say much. Oopsie teehee. it makes you feel like a huge dickhead

I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all

Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket

She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe

Everyone is fighting a tough battle so reblog to give previous a sword 🗡️