:|

Your mamas so squeak shes either a leather shoe or the bad door or a mouse

*aims my rifle in the direction its pointing and fires into the tall grass*

i'm not actually mad i just like the comedic delivery of righteous but pointless anger

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

Where am I

big and cutes my me at you

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

some days are really hard and it can be difficult to understand why. but usually its probably because my blood is haunted

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

THE ROTHCAKE.....

REAL TEARS I AM CRYING REAL TEARS

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way

i believe i can do everything in this life except feign interest and suck up to people