apologies for the WHA posting

loverboy is such a butch term.

hang on i gotta google something

Hero, in recognition for your courage and temerity in the face of my absolute evil, I grant thee a ring of maidenification.

this shits gonna flip into a clean 500 gold pieces for sure

Of course it will, should it leave your finger~

my friend you are off your rocker if you think this thing is even getting close to one of my ring slots I know better than to make that mistake after putting on one of your amulets and being turned into a newt for a week

you were really cute as a newt. . .

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

You’d think that plants would be easy. Sunlight and water, right? But nooo. They have secret other needs and sometimes even when all of those are met they decide to just die anyways.

Oh you got planted one inch too far to the left? Got 1% too much shade? Fuck you.

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

As summer is approaching, I’d like to remind everyone that you are not entitled to ask someone to cover up their scars, self inflicted or not. I don’t care if they’re big, I don’t care if they’re noticeable, or purple, or all over their body, or what. You can’t police people’s bodies.

This also goes for my friends with feeding tubes, ostomy bags, central lines and urinary catheters. People are allowed exist in bodies that stray from the expected norm.

i've actually decided that this pride month is more for lesbians this year pack it up gay guys

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.