Put your point on the floor and just prove it

mmmm probably ilya having a bad time and shane also having a bad time at the same time because their bad times kind of contradict. in that i think super depressed ilya is not really capable of crazy sex and super anxious shane really needs crazy sex. like their needs conflict in that situation and it’s not like anybody is wrong but also they’re gonna feed each others spirals where shane is going to get more and more neurotic and stressed and ilya is going to feel more and more like a failure.

i think there’s also potential for ilya getting really angry and getting mean and violent and shane loves that the sex is rough but then ilya afterwards is like absolutely spiraling and shane is like ok but i like it when you’re rough? and ilya is like but I DON’T LIKE IT, I AM A MONSTER, like i think ilya is capable of really scaring himself because he’s so worried he’s a cruel violent sadistic abusive person and the problem is that he is not entirely wrong, that element does exist within him, and he has no idea how to handle it other than despair and guilt and panic. like if shane asked ilya to hit him during sex, and ilya didn’t like it but did it anyways, ilya would be okay with that. but if ilya did like it and had to stop himself from hitting shane harder, he would be freaking the fuck out.